I think my problem with IEMs is that my outer ears "know" they are being left out and without that bit of vibration they'd normally pick up it just isn't the same.
It's because something with the IEM is causing you discomfort. If you were to remember someone around you, you'll see that when something is making them uncomfortable, they automatically start looking for details to get excited over, and so do you. Make them comfortable and you'll start enjoying the music instead of monitoring it.
i do have trouble w/ iems sometimes. There are times where I just dont want to be hearing my own breathing, bodily noises, etc... so it's always recommended to have a pair of each (iem and full size), that and I just CAN NOT imagine leaving my portapro's behind collecting dust.
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