I am not sure how many of you were at Can Jam this year in Denver, but you really couldn't walk 15 feet without bumping into a paid of HD800 headphones! That happened to be my first time getting to hear them, with plenty of different styles of music, e.g., classical, jazz, rock, etc., and plenty of different setups. I probably heard HD800s on at least 10 different set-ups, SS, tube, balanced, etc.
What I took home most from the experience was the ubiquity of the surprise that people had in how much they often did not enjoy the cans in one kind of an amp but liked them very much in an other. Often it seems that people will definitely hear a difference between amp/can pairings, but it doesn't necessarily outright change the listeners opinion of the headphones categorically, i.e. from "I don't like" to "I like." I'm not saying that this is without exception, of course.
Although I think you will often be encouraged to join the tube fan club, so to speak, on head-fi when posting requests for recommendations for amps, I can say that it seemed that it was very often the case that people who were not very happy with the HD800 headphones out of a SS amp were much more happy with them out of a tube amp, even if they weren't regular tube amp users.
This held true even within single manufactures of amps. For example, while getting a chance to listen to Ray Samuel Amps, several people (myself included) noted that his SS amps obviously sounded impressive with the HD800s, but the B-52 (a tube amp) often (but not always) won out as a favorite with the HD800s over something like the Apache. Both are high powered balanced amps from the same builder/designer, but people regularly said that there was something missing from the HD800s in SS amps, while the tube amps gave some life and filled out the sound a bit, without changing the HD800 signature much.
Ray's wife (I forget her name now) was telling me that after sitting at the table with Ray for a few days at Can Jam, people kept making observations just like that one with the HD800s when comparing the SS and tube RSA set-ups, that the tubes just gave the cans that extra "something" that was lacking in the SS set-ups.
I also got to hear the HD800s in Headroom SS amps, with and without the dedicated power supplies (which, if you haven't had a chance to "A/B", so to speak, with the DPS, can definitely make a surprising difference with many cans). I also listened to the HD800s in portable players, and almost every model of the Woo Amps. I have to say, myself and many people found that the tube amps were able to change the mind of many people not happy with the very "correct" tonal presentation of the HD800s out of SS setups.
Now, that is not to say that there aren't/weren't people happy with SS set-ups and the HD800s. But, it sounds like the HD800s signature might not be for you. And, you are not alone.
Before giving up on the cans or pulling the trigger on another amp without having ever heard it, I would suggest finding your way to a meet or finding a local head-fier with a decent tube set-up to see if that changes your mind about the "highs" of the HD800s. If that doesn't change your mind, you may want to check out another pair of cans. I think that the HD800s do have those "highs" in every amp, as it is just how those cans sound.
Hope this helps! And have fun tweaking your set-up....that's one of the most fun parts of this hobby/compulsion!