A little humor
Aug 1, 2003 at 1:17 AM Thread Starter Post #1 of 34

ServinginEcuador

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Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live
forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA Contest

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff,"--Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal antismoking campaign

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president,"--Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"--A congressional candidate in Texas

"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."--John Wayne

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."--Al Gore, Vice President

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"--Lee Iacocca

"The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like
Norman Einstein,"--Joe Theisman, Former NFL football quarterback & sports analyst

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people,"--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."--Bill Clinton, President

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."--Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman


Now, doesn't that make you feel smarter?
 
Aug 1, 2003 at 1:38 AM Post #2 of 34
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Good ones ServinginEcuador.
 
Aug 1, 2003 at 1:45 AM Post #3 of 34
LOL
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Quote:

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"--A congressional candidate in Texas


This one kills me every time
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Feb 21, 2010 at 5:37 AM Post #6 of 34
“I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.”
-Oscar Wilde
 
Feb 21, 2010 at 6:23 AM Post #10 of 34
Good threads, like good phones, never die.
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And that's the cliche quota for the day.
 
Feb 21, 2010 at 6:34 AM Post #11 of 34
haha, I love when old completely random threads pop up
 
Feb 21, 2010 at 8:28 AM Post #13 of 34
Quote:

Originally Posted by omegaman /img/forum/go_quote.gif
I recently asked an e-bay seller if the speakers were from a pet free home ? His answer.......Apart from my 3 cats I have no pets ??????


I guess he considers his cats to be people then...?
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Feb 21, 2010 at 12:43 PM Post #15 of 34
Quote:

Originally Posted by omegaman /img/forum/go_quote.gif
I recently asked an e-bay seller if the speakers were from a pet free home ? His answer.......Apart from my 3 cats I have no pets ??????


he shouldn't have used "apart". As far as cats are concerned, humans are merely slaves anyhow.
 

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