[Matthew-Spaltro]

When a man and a woman meet at the beginning of a movie if they hate each others guts they will fall in love at the end. And if they like each other at the beginning of the movie one of them will end up betraying the other at the end of the movie.

In martial arts movies the bad guys will allways fight the good guys one by one instead of beating the hero up all at the same time like a gang beating.

Women will allways jog in tight jogging outfits and if someone is chasing them they will almost allways trip on something. A branch, twig, etc etc...

The detective will allways have a problem with their superior when it comes to crimes.

 

[neil]

In a martial arts film -- adversaries can fight calmly, though with incredible agility and balance -- but only when one fighter gets struck in the mouth, presses his hand against his lip, looks down at his hand, sees blood -- then he gets very pissed, shakes his head, messes up his hair, and fights with angst.

 

[Matthew-Spaltro]

lol. very true. and alot of times in the martial arts movies they will feature an actor or actress with no experience outside of movies defeating real bona fide martial arts champions. I mean REAL honest to God champions.

 

[CaptBubba]

Here are some combat rules:

If a good guy gets shot before the final ten minutes of a movie then it will be in the designated "good guy area" (arm, legs, ect) , so he will not be seriously hurt.

When a good guy has an automatic weapon all his enemies will line of for easy shooting. This is know as the Storm Trooper effect.

Kevlar vests are just for show. If a person gets shot by any gun and is wearing a kevlar vest they will die. Unless he is a major character, when they will crumple to the ground as if they were dead and come back to life when a friend begins to sob over their body.

 

[mlchang]

The bad guys can never hit the good guys while the good guys can single handedly take out an army despite using the same weapon that the good guy usually stole from some bad guy he disarmed.

 

[disturbed]

In Hindi Movies its like this:

Speed of Bullet: 1000 mph

Speed of Actor: 5000 mph

Most actors in these movies can dodge an army of bad guys loaded with AK-47's and not a single bullet will graze him.

 

[setmenu]

Limitless round ammo clips.
A high velocity round hit to leg being just a minor inconvience..
a bit sore thats all.
Holding a quiet conversation in an elevator full of machine gun fire.
9mm rounds blowing people off their feet.

Just a few of the normal firearm clichés.

whenever has reality ever mattered in movies though?

Setmenu

 

[mbriant]

It always seems the bad guy in kung-fu movies constantly smokes cigarettes.

Also in the majority of movies, most of the bad guys are bald or balding.

Then there's the bad guy who won't stay dead and comes back for one last attack at the end.

 

[neil]

Here's one. Julia Roberts is a brash, hard to get along with gal who has sarcastic and pissy facial expressions in the first 60% of the movie. The next 25% is her slowly integrating timely smiles and giggles. And the last 15% is her softening up and becoming this tender, loving, congenial character that you only wish you could be before you die. I think this is every Julia Roberts film I've never seen.

 

[taipeileviathan]

have u'all seen red dragon? the most interesting subject material with an all star cast turned to cliches on end by some dumb director/producer combo... *sigh*...

while the husband is elsewhere trying to catch the serial killer, the wife wakes up in the dead of the nite. eerie music plays, a close up shot to the bedroom doorknob all blue in the moonlight, the door begins to creak open, the music builds to a palpable tension, and and and -- IT'S THE SERIAL KILLER's target which is the main character's son. the wife and kid are then whisked away safely by federal agents, saved the gruelsome death that every other family seems to meet.

and why the hell did the serial killer's house explode?!?! were there tanks and tanks full of propane stocked up in his basement?!?! certainly not that the audience knew of... *puking smilie*...

*sigh*... i'm beginning to think i should begin directing/producing movies... but then u all will become inspired and start directing too, and then i'll actually have some REAL competition!

 

[Onix]

1- In slasher movies, the bad guy will allways walk slowly, limping or display a total lack of agility. Of course, he will allways be very silent, even if it's Kane Hooder or another big guy like him.

2- In action movies, the hero is allways handsome or really masculine. Allways with perfect, white teet (sp?), never to be messed up hair, and 20/20 vision.

3- In Star Trek, they allways, conveniently, find some stuff in their cargo bay that just happens to be what they need to defeat their enemies. In the end, it all ends in a pretty goofy fashion (except, perhaps, when they crashed the Enterprise).

4- Female scientists are allways way too hot. Male scientists, specially the leads, are allways handsome, muscular guys. I, for one, would love to see Stephen Hawking fighting aliens instead of Guy Pearce going against the Morlocks. It could be great fun.

5- Good aliens are allways more humanlike than no good aliens. If they happen to be humanlike, the bad guys will have some sort of disfigurement (Sp?). Case in poin: Bad mutants, the borg, etc.

6- Broken couples allways get back together.

7- You can have a hero who smokes, drinks or could have some other vice, but he can jump and run like an olympic champion.

And that's all I can think about now.

 

[setmenu]

Talking of Star trek aliens,I love the way the only differentiating
characteristic between human and alien seems to be but a mere
little nose job or some-such[in later series at least].
That being the case [unusual nose jobs] then there must be
literally thousands of 'aliens' walking among us

.



Setmenu

 

[CaptBubba]

Quote:

Originally posted by setmenu Limitless round ammo clips.

And when they do run out they reload them wrong, epecially pistols. When a pistol fires its last round the slide locks back, but in movies it almost never does. Probably due to them firing blanks.

Continuing on this issue:

Weapons, no matter what the caliber and rate of fire, have minimal kickback.

The proper way to fire any automatic weapon is full-auto. The three round burst mode is just there for looks.

Bad guys in sci-fi fire green-colored weapons.

Energy weapons are always visable to the naked eye.

Other things:

If someone proposes a solution and is ignored at first, they will inevitably be proven correct, but normally only after many people have died.

If a character has sex in a horror movie, they will die.

The bad guy always owns a fluffy cat which he will stroke while plotting.

The cable guy never really fixes the cable.

 

[Mookie]

Quote:

Originally posted by disturbed In Hindi Movies its like this: Speed of Bullet: 1000 mph Speed of Actor: 5000 mph Most actors in these movies can dodge an army of bad guys loaded with AK-47's and not a single bullet will graze him.

Speaking of Hindi movies, the sound of their physical combat is worse that it looks. For example the sound of a punch will sound like it will knock Iron Mike out with a single shot, but it hardly causes the receiving person to flinch. You should watch at least a Hindi movie to know what I mean ...

 

[setmenu]

phazers,lazers,and various energy weapons not only have
visible beams,that beam moves very slowly so dodging the
weapon becomes a real possibility!
Give me a trusty .45ACP in that situation..that'l learn em!

Setmenu