The decline of talking to strangers

[Spareribs]

Back in the good old 1950s or even a decade ago, when you would wait in a waiting room perhaps at a doctors office or wait at a bus station, you may notice an interesting stranger and strike up a conversation. The stranger may even be a pretty girl and you would just exchange friendly small talk.
 
These days, many people are addicted to their favorite video game or TV show and they have to watch it on their smart phones. So if you do see a stranger at a train station, it's less likely you will strike up a random conversation. 
 
Perhaps, it's because there is so much entertainment out there and it's so easy to access it on your phone. And maybe talking to strangers is boring  and not a part of the culture as it used to be. Maybe you will miss the opportunity to talk to that pretty girl but on the positive side, being on your phone, you can keep up with the latest current events in the news and be more aware of knowledge of interesting facts from around the world. 
 
What ever the outcome is, people are more quiet and there is more silence.

 

[krismusic]

Often the reason that I don't talk to strangers is that I have my in ears in!

 

[TRapz]

It makes me sad that people no longer talk to each other much. I'm only 16, but I can remember before cell phones going out and hanging out with friends, playing outside, and talking to lots of people. Today, all my friends are on their phones all the time. I admit, I am on my phone and laptop a lot too, but only at home, never when out. I do make time to talk to family often too. But back to strangers, it makes me sad that people don't talk much now. I love talking and I love people, anyone and everyone, discussing almost anything. This past summer, I went to a big camp and saw a pretty girl and went over to talk to her, and while nothing romantic came out of it, we're now good friends and I'm glad I did. This isn't quite as far as talking to a complete stranger, but it still shows how wonderful friends and maybe SOs can come out of simply greeting someone you don't know. I do wish more people, even people who aren't complete strangers, talked more with others.

 

[ProtegeManiac]

Nowadays there are people who tell stories that go like this:

Male: Excuse, has the bus passed by yet/is the doctor in yet/(whatever)?
Female: I have a boyfriend.

 

Hasn't happened to me but it's probably because when I talk to strangers it's not even anything innocent questions like that tossed at total strangers, but people hanging out in a smoking area. Smokers I think tend to be more sociable, but now that laws are so strict about smoking in public, I wouldn't be surprised if it subconsciously feels like a ghetto/concentration camp and thus just enhanced the camaraderie between smokers.

 

This was also how I made friends in college who weren't in many (or any) of my classes. I basically studied in the smoking areas in the garden since the coffee machine was nearby (and cheaper than the Starbuck's and Seattle's Best across the street), and people were around for some conversations to keep me awake if not also talk about what we had to study (ever try to read older copies of Kant? I'm in the social sciences but it's just one step above socsci stat).

 

[rdnkjdi]

I agree about the smoke areas.  I never smoked before my little world jaunt for the last nine months thru Thailand, Russia & Sri Lanka.
 
After coming home - I've talked to more people in smoke areas than anywhere else.  The positive part of things is that if & when you figure out how to strike up conversations and take down people's guard you possess a rare skill instead of a common one.
 
I saw a quote the other day from some famous dude that went something like "Confidence is more important than intelligence for good conversation".  It really is true - I had better conversations with complete strangers and google translate than I have with random bar strangers staring at their phones.

 

[sajesak]

Back in the good old 1950s or even a decade ago, when you would wait in a waiting room perhaps at a doctors office or wait at a bus station, you may notice an interesting stranger and strike up a conversation. The stranger may even be a pretty girl and you would just exchange friendly small talk.

These days, many people are addicted to their favorite video game or TV show and they have to watch it on their smart phones. So if you do see a stranger at a train station, it's less likely you will strike up a random conversation.

Perhaps, it's because there is so much entertainment out there and it's so easy to access it on your phone. And maybe talking to strangers is boring and not a part of the culture as it used to be. Maybe you will miss the opportunity to talk to that pretty girl but on the positive side, being on your phone, you can keep up with the latest current events in the news and be more aware of knowledge of interesting facts from around the world.

What ever the outcome is, people are more quiet and there is more silence read more at https://www.omegla.live/.

You're right. Times have changed. Technology gives us constant access to entertainment and information, but it’s also made spontaneous conversations with strangers far less common. People are more focused on their screens than their surroundings, which can make public spaces feel quieter and more disconnected. Still, there's something valuable about those old-school interactions that we might be missing out on today.

 

[finbad]

Because strangers are very strange when you're a stranger - Now I need to go spin and listen to "The Doors"

 

[Redcarmoose]

None of this is totally true. You need to be specific to where you live. Meaning there are all kinds of places still in the world where total strangers talk to one another. I have not been in the states for 15 years so I can’t comment on how the US has changed. But yes, Japan is very much non social in public places......especially if you are not from Japan.....they won’t even make eye contact! But common if you go to a bar in the US there are sure to be slightly inebriated talkers.

I don’t want to make this post anymore confrontational about the possible silence and lack of social skills, as I do believe in the effects of cellphones. Yet if you walk down the street plenty of people will say hi to you, especially if they have been your friends for years. Plus get a small dog, go on dog walks, you would be surprised how many beautiful young girls will appear talking to you, coming from their places of work and making small talk. I meet at least 4 to 7 gals a week, just walking around town, walking my dog. They don’t even carry a cell phone, they left it at the job site.

Ok, this sounds like I’m ranting, but I just wanted to set the story straight, for mankind in 2025, anyway. Next year, sure I can’t say, but yes, the past was very social in the US, don’t know about now.

 

[HWB3]

You're a lucky guy to have all of those young ladies talking to you because of your dog. I hope that you give it a nice treat on occasion.
Walking around Philadelphia people don't make eye contact with you. They are going from Point A to Point B as quickly as possible. While sitting on your porch people will exchange pleasantries with you. I guess they feel comfortable in their own neighborhood.

 

[Redcarmoose]

You're a lucky guy to have all of those young ladies talking to you because of your dog. I hope that you give it a nice treat on occasion.
Walking around Philadelphia people don't make eye contact with you. They are going from Point A to Point B as quickly as possible. While sitting on your porch people will exchange pleasantries with you. I guess they feel comfortable in their own neighborhood.

Well it definitely is an attitude about near where you live. As a 1/2 hour drive into the city is a slightly different theme? But I mean the trend still should be (like the gals) that socializing should be with no motivation for anything extra. Just making small talk, and visiting the dog. Meaning it is all for the sake of small talk and nothing more. Once you file agendas into the words, a whole set of new goals start........and feelings become redirected. IMO

 

[finbad]

Unfortunately many folks still judge the book by it's cover - And your presenting like a hairy Wookie isn't
helpful, maybe.

 

[aier8Robert]

Yeah, phones have really changed how we interact. People used to chat more, now everyone's in their own bubble. Less small talk, more scrolling. Just the way things are now.

 

[Redcarmoose]

Unfortunately many folks still judge the book by it's cover - And your presenting like a hairy Wookie isn't
helpful, maybe.

Some people are are ego-expressive. So they will talk no matter what point in human history.

There are dominate results types, who don’t waist their time with small talk. Then paced types of personalities, who operate according to time frames. There are the ego-expressive types, also structured types who are too structured for small talk, cellphones or no cellphones. But still maybe culture (like Japan) has something to do with this, and cultural aspects change a little (US).

My profile is a mixture of dominate/ego-expressive.