[BrokeAudiophileMan]

In the interest of honesty, I have a large collection of both headphones and psychiatric illnesses. I have crippling depression/anxiety, high functioning autism, and schizophrenia. It's not fun.
I always read about people not getting past their 10th song because of ear fatigue, and sure, with some sibilant or overly bassy speakers or headphones I've gotten ear fatigue, but for me the killer is emotional fatigue.
I'll explain- I can't listen to songs without intently listening to the melody, the lyrics, and FEELING the music. I feel the emotion the song is putting out. I try to avoid overly sad music but even happy music gives me fatigue after awhile. It's not my ears hurting or my head, it's my heart. I feel too much. My uncle and my grandfather always told me I feel too much. I can't help it.
Does anybody have any advice for ways to listen to music without FEELING it so intently? I still want to pick apart the lyrics but i don't want to end up in tears after my 10th song because I have amassed a big bag of emotions from all those songs.

I hate my brain. Help me.

 

[lifeson]

One of my children is high functioning autistic and has described to me something similair to what you describe, about being overwhelmed. He has told me part of his way of seeing the world is that he tends to assign emotional values to everything, even mundane objects sometimes take on a personality to him and he tries to block it out as it affects his objectivity. One of his obsessions is music and audio gear. He can't listen to music for long periods either as it gets to him - he says he sees it as "colours in his brain with pangs of emotion".
We talked about it a lot as he grew up and tried to see the positive side, the increased intensity as a boon. One of the things that seemed to help a lot was learning to play an instrument, I taught him to play guitar and he has progressed to a point where he can sit there for ages playing in peace. Maybe try that, it relaxes him a lot.
He still can't listen to music for extended periods but the way he describes it I feel sort of jealous as he seems to be getting more out of it than I do.

 

[HWB3]

My nephew was somewhere on the autism scale when he was younger. You couldn't sing Happy Birthday to him, he couldn't be around fireworks, and he didn't relate well to others. His solace was video games. That's pretty much the way he is now. Music is a tough one. That's always been my leave me alone moment. I'm sorry that you can't enjoy yours. In a lighthearted way, try AC/DC or similar bands. Their music is simple and enjoyable.

 

[tyk103]

I can kind of relate.

One answer since you're in Canada: Indica strains of THC. Music will open up to you as you open up your mind.

 

[BrokeAudiophileMan]

I can kind of relate.

One answer since you're in Canada: Indica strains of THC. Music will open up to you as you open up your mind.

Im smoking cannabis indica right now actually. It helps less than you might think, and I'm going to have to quit soon as I've recently found out it can make schizophrenia worse. IDK what I'm going to do to relax at that point... might have to buy more beer.

 

[BrokeAudiophileMan]

One of my children is high functioning autistic and has described to me something similair to what you describe, about being overwhelmed. He has told me part of his way of seeing the world is that he tends to assign emotional values to everything, even mundane objects sometimes take on a personality to him and he tries to block it out as it affects his objectivity. One of his obsessions is music and audio gear. He can't listen to music for long periods either as it gets to him - he says he sees it as "colours in his brain with pangs of emotion".
We talked about it a lot as he grew up and tried to see the positive side, the increased intensity as a boon. One of the things that seemed to help a lot was learning to play an instrument, I taught him to play guitar and he has progressed to a point where he can sit there for ages playing in peace. Maybe try that, it relaxes him a lot.
He still can't listen to music for extended periods but the way he describes it I feel sort of jealous as he seems to be getting more out of it than I do.

I can sympathize with most of what you said especially assigning emotional values to things. I actually love some of my headphones and my computer as friends. It's weird. I'd actually mourn them if I lost them. Might have to do with not having many real life friends or just not being very sociable, or maybe my brain is wired in a different way. I just wish I could blast music for hours like some people do and not get emotionally exhausted from it.

 

[BrokeAudiophileMan]

My nephew was somewhere on the autism scale when he was younger. You couldn't sing Happy Birthday to him, he couldn't be around fireworks, and he didn't relate well to others. His solace was video games. That's pretty much the way he is now. Music is a tough one. That's always been my leave me alone moment. I'm sorry that you can't enjoy yours. In a lighthearted way, try AC/DC or similar bands. Their music is simple and enjoyable.

People never "get off" the autism scale. It's not like a sinus infection that goes away eventually. It's a life long thing. It has to do with different brain wiring. Some people learn to mask their autism but their brain is still the same on the inside.

 

[Reputator]

Not emotional fatigue, but I can get mental fatigue, and I think it relates to ADHD and some difficulty I have processing detailed information for long periods of time. And well, with highend headphones, that's a LOT of detailed auditory information.

 

[MakeshiftApe]

Do you get tired of feeling, period, or is it more that you get tired of feeling too much of any given emotion?

Perhaps it's worth experimenting with different genres, and also switching it up on a regular basis. Also music without as many lyrics can be helpful in this regard I think, as while things like classical or electronic music can still be quite emotional, I find that for me if I get pulled too into a song emotionally it's usually the lyrics or the singer that does it - listening to EDM a song might be euphoric or melancholic or whatever but it doesn't hit you quite as hard in the feels as say hearing someone sing about grief or heartbreak they've gone through.

Also if you deal with sensory overload as a secondary aspect of this, try lower listening volumes. It might sound weird since it's not traditional listening fatigue you're dealing with, but I find music has less of an effect (either positive or negative) on my psyche when I listen at lower volumes.

 

[TWerk]

For me, as a neurotypical person, it is the emotional aspect of listening that makes it one of my favorite hobbies - it can just hit me in ways other hobbies do not.

 

[Redcarmoose]

My humble suggestion is physical exercise. Of course this is only a suggestion, but it has helped me dramatically in the last 45 years. What can happen is the endorphins from exercise create physical and mental well-being. My issue with music and reading is related to ADHD, as a child I couldn’t concentrate on one thing, had severe dyslexia and even now I can’t spell at all? But keep a good attitude.....as attitude is everything! Cheers!

 

[megabigeye]

Interesting thread, and thanks for sharing.

I also have ADHD, which I believe is related in some way to Autism. They both have a sensory processing aspect to them.

Thankfully, I don't experience emotional fatigue with music, but I do experience it with television. It's kind of a weird thing. In my adulthood it mostly occurs during shows that I really don't like, the really cheesy, really heavy handed, obviously emotionally manipulative scenes often make me cry. I'm not actually that moved by them— in fact, I'll often find the scene really objectively stupid— but for some reason I have these outsized emotional reactions. I've learned to embrace it as an adult, but as a kid it was really embarrassing. I remember watching "Top Gun" with some friends and just feeling totally abashed when they didn't have the same jump-out-of-your-seat-because-it's-so-f#$%ing-awesome reaction that I did. Or laughing like an idiot (no, like a real idiot!) at Ferris Beuller when he crashes the Ferrari. I felt like such a weirdo.
And then in my 20s I went through a phase where I could hardly watch TV because it left me feeling so emotionally "peak-ish." Like at the least provocation I'd either laugh or cry.
I also get emotional fatigue from socializing. I have social anxiety (hi, Internet!), but even aside from that, I can't stay at parties for very long because I just get worn out. When my roommates used to throw parties I was known for retreating to my room after a couple hours. Thankfully everyone that I consider a friend is okay with that and expects it of me. They'd probably think something was up if I didn't take my "me time"!

For me, anyway, I'm pretty sure that the emotional fatigue comes from being stressed and from general fatigue. So my vague advice is to find whatever way you can destress. For me it's exercise and having a creative outlet. Photography, writing, drawing, taking walks, working out. Vigorous exercise works wonders for my ADHD, maybe it'd work for Autism, too.

 

[ThEvil0nE]

There will be days that I listen to music all day and when I say all day that’s all the way the next day 3am/4am and days that I just can’t listen to music. This was after I lost my daughter 2 yrs ago.
My sleeping too has been an issue but have slowly been good with them. With the help of Japanese incense and topical essential oils.

 

[OnlySoMany]

Im smoking cannabis indica right now actually. It helps less than you might think, and I'm going to have to quit soon as I've recently found out it can make schizophrenia worse. IDK what I'm going to do to relax at that point... might have to buy more beer.

Beer and cigars always helps. Slow enjoyment of things that take time to enjoy. Pot actually makes anxiety worse. You can be in control of your mind you just have to practice it. Take life minute by minute or hour by hour instead of days or years at a time.

Another thing to remember is that you can't be in control of every outcome or situation. Sometimes you just have to let things go. I was diagnosed with a bunch of different conditions but in the end those are just names to cover up what's really going on. The biggest problems during those times was that I wasn't comfortable with myself and that was where the true discomfort came from.

I have found that trance and edm music really helps to zone out, as there are no words, only rhythm. Excellent music types to zone out and relax.