OK. I've spent the afternoon and evening with the AirPods Max. I'm going to keep them. They are definitely massively overpriced, but they have definite advantages over other cans.
First of all the spatial audio and head tracking... No. Not at all like multichannel. There is good control of the left and right panning when you turn your head, but there is absolutely no depth nor rear channel information. The rear channel info shows up for me down by my waist, and it doesn't have any left or right- it's kind of like Dolby Stereo with just one channel behind (or in this case by my belt.) Maybe it works better for other people. I listened to some Atmos programming on Apple+ and HBO Max. It sounded very good, but the voices were still inside my head, not up front in the center channel. It works if you hold your phone 8 or 10 inches from your face, but it isn't soundstage by any stretch of the imagination. Head tracking works if you hold the phone still, but if you move the phone at all, it defaults to the middle. Spatial audio does absolutely nothing for music.
However, there is something going on in music. Apple calls it "adaptive EQ" and it appears that the DSP is analyzing the music and breaking it down into pieces and handling it separately, much like the new iPhone cameras take several pictures and paste them back together into a combination that is better than any of them alone. It works remarkably well in rock music, especially Pink Floydy stuff with lots of ping pong stereo and phasey effects. It places sound and pans it across the channels really well. When something pans from left to right, it's extremely effective. The panning element is super clear and consistent from side to side. It's also good for guitar solos, making them sound clearly separate from the music around it. The effect is kind of like HDR for music. Hard to describe. It can be fooled though. In Back In The USSR, it has no idea how to handle the jet sounds, muting one channel almost completely and leaving tape hiss on the other. I also ran into a problem with a classical recording where the adaptive EQ grabbed onto the room tone and sculpted it into a clear sound, rather than a smooth fade up. I don't like what the adaptive EQ does to orchestral music. It tends to mass the strings and make them sound like a movie soundtrack. I definitely won't be using these for classical music.
The response curve is very good. A little adjustable in the settings, but the default was best for me. There are a couple of little tweaks I would make (and probably will if I can figure out how normal EQ works with adaptive EQ.) It has a bass hump between 80 and 160, and the upper range of vocals is a little hot around 3 or 4kHz, making male vocals sound a little thin, Not terribly far off, but compared to my Oppo PM-1s, it is clearly inferior. The Oppos sound a hair clearer at loud volumes too. Much better than the AirPod Pros. The noise cancellation is state of the art. You won't find better.
But the surprise is how damn well it works. Pairing is a breeze. Playing music and controlling playback is simple. It turns itself on and off. No power button. And it senses when you put them on and turns them on and pairs. Like all Apple products, it is well designed and simple to use. But these are easier to use than my AirPod Pros. They're comfortable, lighter than my Oppos and easy to toss in a bag and go. That's what I'm going to use them for. These and my iPhone are all I need, and I have the AirPod Pros if I need ear buds.
I'm going to keep playing with the dimensional audio and try to figure out the adaptive EQ. I've had some bluetooth connection problems too. Gonna have to figure that out.