scrypt
Head-Fi's Sybil
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2002
- Posts
- 2,382
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- 125
Here's the missive I lobbed recently at the Man with the Sponsored Thread:
Subject: About your naughty yet scented dark-horse Shure E4 (with suggestive mauve unicycle enhancers)
Good morning, Mr. Ashwood. My name is General Rickets-Lip's Flavorful Orange Duck Taste. Please enjoy my Father's Day gift to you of several imaginary children. Personally, I find the lot putrid-smelling and unmanageable and will spend the rest of my highly important day practicing the quadrupedal watusi on a golf course in Northern Treblinka while my corporeally stunted offspring practice crapping in unison, but please try not to think about that too clearly.
In case you lack the ability to look to your left, please allow me the minor consolation of introducing myself (after all, it's the only act I’m capable of performing without a catheter). I happen to be a long-term Head-fi pathogen whose user monocle is Scrypt, if you didn’t glean as much, but I'd rather not name-plotz. Frankly, Keith, if I may speak to you as Utah’s most available good-time mesomorph, I'm damned interested in purchasing a pair of lavender-scented E4s. Please think of me whenever luck happens to arrive and you find yourself sporting a trenchcoatful of the stringy little bastards.
I was told by certain unrestrained consumers to write to you personally, that I, too, might experience the eye-crinkling joy of learning your ultra-special price quote. However, I warn you: don't disappoint me, as I'm incontinent and carry scads of extra mucous. What’s more, I enjoy making personal appearances at the Bulgarian Mitzvah Foundation of Man-Mallard Fondness, if you ken my inflection (and I think you do). Given what we’ve discussed, I expect you’ll be more willing to stir a little fondue should the asparagus tips bloom in earnest (and, candidly, I think they will). Any questions, sailor, or may I expect an ultra-special canned reply?
With real gorgonzola,
Scrypt on the rapidograph, y’all
Subject: About your naughty yet scented dark-horse Shure E4 (with suggestive mauve unicycle enhancers)
Good morning, Mr. Ashwood. My name is General Rickets-Lip's Flavorful Orange Duck Taste. Please enjoy my Father's Day gift to you of several imaginary children. Personally, I find the lot putrid-smelling and unmanageable and will spend the rest of my highly important day practicing the quadrupedal watusi on a golf course in Northern Treblinka while my corporeally stunted offspring practice crapping in unison, but please try not to think about that too clearly.
In case you lack the ability to look to your left, please allow me the minor consolation of introducing myself (after all, it's the only act I’m capable of performing without a catheter). I happen to be a long-term Head-fi pathogen whose user monocle is Scrypt, if you didn’t glean as much, but I'd rather not name-plotz. Frankly, Keith, if I may speak to you as Utah’s most available good-time mesomorph, I'm damned interested in purchasing a pair of lavender-scented E4s. Please think of me whenever luck happens to arrive and you find yourself sporting a trenchcoatful of the stringy little bastards.
I was told by certain unrestrained consumers to write to you personally, that I, too, might experience the eye-crinkling joy of learning your ultra-special price quote. However, I warn you: don't disappoint me, as I'm incontinent and carry scads of extra mucous. What’s more, I enjoy making personal appearances at the Bulgarian Mitzvah Foundation of Man-Mallard Fondness, if you ken my inflection (and I think you do). Given what we’ve discussed, I expect you’ll be more willing to stir a little fondue should the asparagus tips bloom in earnest (and, candidly, I think they will). Any questions, sailor, or may I expect an ultra-special canned reply?
With real gorgonzola,
Scrypt on the rapidograph, y’all
