WARNING: Awesome joke ahead. Don't die laughing.

So, this guy, named blue, gets up in the morning. He gets out of his blue bed, goes down his blue stairs, and picks up his blue phone. He calls his friend Green. Green, at his house, gets out of his own green bed, goes down his green stairs, and picks up his green phone.

"Hello?"
"Green, it's Blue. I'm going to have a breakfast party at my house."
"Sure... But on one condition: I can invite another friend," Green says with a little malice.
"Fine. See you here!"

Green then calls his friend yellow. Yellow gets out of his yellow bed, goes down his yellow stairs, and picks up his yellow phone.

"Hello?"
"Hey Yellow, it's Green. Blue's having a breakfast party at his house. Wanna come?"
"Sure," Yellow says. "Only if I can invite another friend, though."
Green grunts, and says, "Fine." And hangs up.

Yellow calls his friend purple. Purple, hearing his phone ring, gets out of his purple bed, goes down his purple stairs, and picks up his purple phone.

"Hello?"
"Hey Purple. It's Yellow."
"What's going on?"
"Blue's having a breakfast party at his house. I want a friend to come... So can you?
"Sure... but only if I can bring my own cereal," Purple says.
"Alright," says yellow, "See you there!"

And Green, Yellow, and Purple all meet a Blue's house. They sit down at his table, and turn on the TV. Blue offers them green tea, and green and yellow oblige, but purple asks for coffee instead. When it comes time to eat, Blue says,

"I've only got cornflakes, and I think Purple brought Coco Puffs. Which one would you prefer?"
"Cornflakes!" Yellow and Green say in unison, while Purple (expectedly) says, "Coco Puffs."
"Alright then. I'm having cornflakes," says Blue.

So, it just goes to show that 3 out of 4 people prefer cornflakes to coco puffs.

Quote:



No personal offense, but that's got to be one of the stupidest jokes (if it can even be called that) I've ever read.

Quote:



Just the perfect way to ruin what could have been a really great joke. Just so anti-climatic.

What's the joke?


/U.

One of my favorites.

Maybe you've heard it. Anyway:

Gotta Knock Knock joke for ya.

OK.

Say "Knock Knock."

Quote:



That's the point, really.

Sorry for the disappointment, guys.

I liked it

Another 2 bad jokes (the former stupid and the latter very, very anticlimactic. They're great for when you want to disappoint someone).

First one:

So, a dog and a cat decide to race on their farm. The dog dictated that it starts at the west end of the farm, at the fence, and ends at the stable. The cat agreed, and the dog counted 3, 2, 1 and were off. When they reached the stable, the result seemed to be a tie. The dog, finding a third party, found the horse who was watching nearby.

"Hey, Horse, who won?" the Dog inquired.

"Dog, you won," the Horse said.

"Holy crap, a talking horse!" the Dog said.

The Big Orange head joke will come later. A disclaimer is that it isn't very funny at all, instead, it's very anticlimactic like the cereal joke.

If Einstein knew so much about gravity - why did his hair stick up on end??

Quote:



Simple - he figured out how to defy gravity, and simply used it to create the world's best-holding hair gel.

The atomic bomb was peanuts compared to THIS.

Here's one that rings true every day i start up my car:

"Did you ever notice that anyone driving slower that you are is a MORON! And that anyone driving faster than you is a MANIAC!!!!!"
-George Carlin

------------

A man and his friend are driving down a local street when their car reaches a red stoplight. The man drives through the light as if he didn't see it, and his friend quickly protests: "What are you doing? You just drove right through that red light!" The driver responds: "Don't worry my brother drives like this all the time."

The two continue down the road and once again, the driver peels right through another red light, much to the dismay of his passenger: "You just did it again! Are you trying to get us killed!?". "I told you my brother drives like this all the time!"

The car continues down the road and eventually reaches a green light, at which point the driver slows down to a complete stop. His passenger, confused and outraged once again demands to know what's happening, to which the driver responds: "My brother might be coming the other way!"

Here's an anti-climatic joke I read awhile ago:

A man named Matt gets married and decides that they need a house to live in so he buys some land and starts to design a home. He happens to be a mathematician so he calculates exactly how many bricks he needs to build his dream home and the next day he goes to the brick store. When he arrives he walks up to the owner and says "I need exactly 999 bricks, how much will that cost?" The owner looks at him oddly and says "Sorry sir, we only sell bricks in groups of a 100 so you'll have to buy 1000 bricks." The man thinks this new problem over and decides to buy 1000 bricks.

When he gets back to his land he starts building his house and a month later he finishes it and sure enough he has 1 brick left. He has no idea what to do with the brick so he throws it up in the air.

The End.

Ok another joke:

A man named Joe has had a pet duck named Charlie that he's lived with ever since his wife died. Joe loved Charlie with all of his heart since it was basically the only friend he had and because of that they went everywhere together.

One day Joe got a call on the telephone telling him his mom had died. His mom had lived on the other side of the country so he went to buy two plane tickets to the funeral, one for him and one for Charlie. When they got on the plane Joe strapped Charlie into the seat next to him and went to sleep.

Halfway through the flight Joe was woken up by the flight attendant. "Excuse me sir, you should know that there are no ducks allowed on this plane. You will have to throw him out." Joe didn't know what was going on. "What do you mean no ducks? I bought him a ticket, you can't make me throw him out! He's the only friend I have." The fight attendant looked at him and went to talk to the pilot. When she came back she had a sad look on her face and said "Sorry sir, but the pilot says that we must enforce the rules of the plane. If you refuse to throw out the duck we will be forced to throw you out with the duck." Obviously, Joe did not want to die so he unbuckled Charlie and started to cry. He walked towards the flight attendant who was standing next to the open door and he threw out Charlie.

When Joe got back to his seat he was shaking uncontrollably so he took out a cuban cigar he stashed in his pocket and started to smoke it. He finally started to regain his composure when the flight attendant tapped on his shoulder and said "Sorry for interrupting again sir, but there is no smoking on this flight, you are going to have to throw that cigar off the plane." Joe stared at her wondering if she was serious and then started to yell. "You just made me throw out my only friend in the world and now you are making me throw out my cuban cigar?!" He walked over to the open door and threw out his expensive cigar. Joe started to cry even more than before.

About an hour later Joe was still crying, but then he started to hear faint quacking sounds. All the passengers started pointing out the windows in disbelief. Joe wiped the tears out of his eyes and took a look out the window and he could not belief what he saw. It was Charlie flying right by the window with something in his mouth. He squinted and was shocked when he finally realized what the object was. It was the brick.

The End.

*Top 18 things you won't ever hear from a Harley owner*

18. Oh I just couldn't, she's only sixteen.
17. I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.
16. You can't feed that to the dog.
15. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe.
14. Wrestling's fake.
13. I'll have grapefruit and whole wheat toast instead of the biscuits and gravy.
12. Listen, Peaches. I love animals too, but we just don't need another dog.
11. Who gives a damn about NASCAR? Let's watch soccer!
10. Nope. I’m going to have to say quits after this new ink. Ten tattoos is enough for any man.
9. I wonder if I can get some quieter pipes?
8. The tires on that truck are too big.
7. "That's one small step for man. One giant leap for mankind."
6. I shaved my beard because it made me look like a inbred redneck hill scoggin.
5. Checkmate.
4. Cleanliness is next to godliness.
3. Do these leather chaps make my ass look too big?
2. I’m thinking of going back to school.

... and the number one thing you will never hear a Harley owner say:

1. No more for me! I’m ridin’!


There's 2 fleas sitting on the beach in Daytona, FLA, and one has a terrible cold. The one flea asks how the other got the cold. The sick flea says "I made the mistake of getting on a biker's mustasche in upstate NY. We rode through snow and ice to get to Bike Week."

The first flea says "You know how I get here every year? I find a cute little college girl, find her left leg, go up and make a right at the hips. Warm and cozy and Daytona, here we come for Spring Break!"

The second flea says, "That's a great idea, I'll do it next year!"

So, next year rolls around, and the same flea is sick again.

The first flea says "Hey, didn't you try my plan?"

The second flea says, "Yup, I did, and the next thing I know, I'm back on the biker's mustache!"

Harold is 92 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit, smoke a cigar, listen to music, ponder his accomplishments and reflect on his long life.

One evening, Mildred, age 86, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours had passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?"

She asks, "What?"

"SEX!!" he replies.

Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!"

"I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while."

"Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.

Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was OK. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood!

"Why you treacherous old goat!" Mildred yells at Harold. "What's she got that I don't have?"

"Parkinsons . . ." Harold replies.