|Originally posted by acs236
To balance the thread -- I did meet my wife through one of these services.
Matt, I have used those services mostly because my work schedule sucks big time. I have not had a free weekend in 15 years, for example. From my experience, there are a few steps to follow if you are going to use one of those services.
1- Use only pay services. You wouldn't believe how many people use the free services just because they don't wan to spend money on anything. Ussually that kind of women is precisely looking for someone to help them pay their bills. Thrust me in this one.
2- Select only ads with pictures on them. That way you'll avoid unpleasant surprises. But keep in mind that some people use old pictures of them (for example, when they were not overweigth) or just somebody else's picture. Request a new picture whenever you have the chance.
3- Do not jump and go meet the girl who just made contact with you. Use e-mail as a source of contact for some time, maybe a month or so. The way a person writes tells you a lot about their personality and education. If there's something you don't like, it's probably best to not continue the relationship.
4- Okay, now it's time to give her your phone number, preferably your cell phone number. That way you can get a better feel on what kind of person she is. I recomend the use of a cell phone since, if she turns out to be a wacko, that way you can allways change your phone number and won't have to deal with her cramming your answering machine with psycobabble. Keep this up for a week or so.
5- Meet. Go to a place at walking distance from each others work or location. And chat. Dress your best, but do not stray too much from how you really dress most of the time. I mean, if you are a jeans and t-shirt guy, wear clean and maybe even new jeans and t-shirt. Do not go for a suit or something like that unless it's your everyday attire. If you guys have a coffee or something, aske her if it's okay if you pay for it. Be a gentleman, open the doors for her, see that you are on the side of the street and, most important, be yourself.
6- If you guys click, you'll probably go to the movies or restaurants. Whatever, just enjoy yourself and keep an eye for potentially embarrasing situations. If you do not dance, do not take her to a tango contest or something like that.
7- SEX!!!!!!!!!!!!. That should keep your attention focused. Well, guess what, it's better if you avoid having sex for sometime. No matter how hot she is, or how horny you are, wait until you get to know her better. Besides, that should keep the sexual tension steaming up, so when you finally get into it, it should be more interesting. Besides, a relationship is based on more than sex, and giving you people time to get to know each other and maybe have a wonderful thing together is more important than a few orgasms that could be a prelude for just another epoch of loneliness.
Okay, so, once you get into it, remember to wear a condom. It is of capital importance. She may be nice, sweet and the best girl in the entire universe, but you could be just one in a big list of guys she has meet in the net. Keep that in mind. You could like this person a lot, but you don't really know her a lot. If she insists on having sex with no protection, DO NOT DO IT and go away. You should not be involved with such an irresponsible person anyway.
SOME THINGS TO AVOID
1- People with money problems. You could be manipulated into paying their debts.
2- Hard drug users. Pot is fine in my book, but stay away from heroin or cocaine users. Synths are also a big no-no in my view.
3- People who likes to get too weird in bed. Bi's are fine and great fun, but as soon as the goats and hens start to show up in the bedroom, run away as fast as you can. Perhaps you are with a walking collection of VD's.
4- People who just finished a traumatic relationship. They need time to cool down, and it's better for you if you are not going to become a substitute for her beau in this case. Besides, how do you know for sure that relationship is finished?
5- Women with children who does not like you at all. Need I say more? Been there.
I guess that's it. Good luck Matt, you are going to need it