Wives and the hobby
Apr 3, 2019 at 4:18 PM Post #31 of 35


100+ Head-Fier
Apr 22, 2012
Got married a little over a year ago, I merged a decent amount of our fiance's beforehand. We couldn't decide on a bank and neither wanted to use the others bank so we are using Ally, an online bank with good interest rates. So we have joint checking, savings, money market and CD. I ended up with a credit card from them and she is an authorized user and our joint expenses go on that.

Basically our paychecks go to the savings, than to the checking. From checking it's distributed to various other savings accounts (vacation, future house, emergency, and our personal funds)this is done to bypass the 6 withdrawal limit in the main saving account . And the credit card is set to auto pay to the main savings account.

So for us if we have funds in our own account we can spend it and there is no need to ask for permission. I can't justify some of my expenses to her and don't want to, and I don't understand her expenses. I want a motorcycle in 5 years I have the money to buy an used entry level one and good gear in cash, an expense she wouldn't let me justify probably ever. I will just have to convince her to let me ride it, which is another battle.

There are several ways to get fiancial stuff done while being married, just find one that works for both of you. And honesty is key for everything.

And read 5 Love Languages, both of you. The rules change once you live together, learn what the other needs specifically so you could focus on that.
Oct 26, 2019 at 11:12 PM Post #32 of 35


1000+ Head-Fier
Nov 8, 2004
Bay Area, CA, USA
My wife and I both put into a joint account 50/50 each paycheck. All joint expenses come out of that. Mortgage, utilities, food, gas, daycare, insurance, etc.

The balance each paycheck then goes into our individual accounts and we can use it however we see fit. She can buy all the craft supplies, handbags, makeup, etc. she wants and I do the same with my gadgets. She doesn't ask me permission for anything and vice versa.

9 years living together (5 married) and we've not had a single issue with the finances.
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Oct 27, 2019 at 1:00 AM Post #33 of 35


500+ Head-Fier
Oct 8, 2016
as previously mentioned ladies seem to like stupid stuff (handbags for example) that cost $$$ if you want new headphones point out how you didn't complain about your missus last $$$ handbag purchase so she shouldn't complain about your headphones.

but honestly my main advice is not to marry anyone that is going to rain on your parade... I stayed single for many years till I found a woman that was secure , self sufficient .. non likely to begrudge me my indulgences ..so long as I put up with hers..

being ~economically secure is a help to be sure.

also a wife with more money than you ..can be ~ok as well.. just sayin'
Oct 27, 2019 at 4:57 PM Post #35 of 35


100+ Head-Fier
Apr 3, 2017
close to the alps
Hard to give any specific advice - highly depends on lots of factors like who earns and owns how much, how you deal with money generally, how your spending habits are, how much you spend on other hobbies, how much she spends on hers, if you have kids, do you save money towards a house, a car, your future wife's personality etc ...

Getting your future wife involved in your hobby to a certain point might not be a bad idea and the same goes the other way round. My wife knows almost as many headphone and electronics brands as I know designer bag brands nowadays ^^
If she want's some alone time to watch her drama's she's going like "what about you go listen to your stax and I watch some drama?" nowadays and I find it quite amusing :)

Generally don't buy what you can't afford and don't spend amounts of cash to get yourself or others among you into financial troubles or bottlenecks. As long as everybody is happy in the long run everything is ok :)

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