Did my third year of a canoe trip on the Delaware River in PA. two weekends ago.
While the rapids are not huge they ARE enough for thirty drunken amatuers to negotiate.
This trip is hard to get on and started out five years ago with 10 guys (sorry ladies,all male club).The count is up to thirty retards.
We leave Danbury Connecticut at 7:00 AM saturday morning in a caravan of SUVs and pickups,bring it up to 75 mph as soon as we get on I-84 and head west to Pennsyvania.
Arrival is about 8:15 .
LET THE NIGHTMARE BEGIN
The first step is unloading all the gear and loading the bus that will take us to the start of our section of the river.This gear includes two coolers per two man team.One with each individuals thirty pack (we brought three thirty packs) and drink of choice plus mix (hehe,two 1/2 gallon jugs of vodka,fifth of Jamaican rum,7 UP and cola,plus a few pre mixed mudslides for GP).
The other contains all food required for two days (lunch day one-cold grinders / dogs/burgers/etc-----dinner and munchies at the campsite--lunch day two)
Coulda knocked the guy over with a feather that monitored our loading.
"so how long you guys going out for "
"overnight "
"
"
"exactly "
OH YEAH ! Run into the camp store for a cool cup that has a strap.Can't be wasting beers while rowing dammit
We get on the bus and start telling jokes , insulting one another,power drinking...................
ON THE WATERBY 9:00.YEEEESSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is a section of the river that is normally considered a day trip for normal humans,but we do things our own way.
And that way means taking things EZ cuz a boatload of drunks can be very scary at speed.Hell,even at a full stop we get into trouble
So my partner and me get downriver about 75 ft and we already have a canoe down.
NEW WORLD RECORD !
Usually it takes AT LEAST thirty minutes for that to happen.
We spend the day avoiding rocks (yeah,OK,sure
) , drinking ,and just generally enjoying the river while shooting the bull.This is accomplished by rowing towards another two man teams canoe who you wan't to talk to,attempting to stop..
[size=medium]LOOKOUT[/size]
Grabbing on and "so whats up"
Conversation growing stale ?
Row on over to the next group of knuckleheads (LOOKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!).
Of course sometimes a man just wants to be alone and COCKTAIL
We do lunch at a predetermined spot about noon or so,my ass was late due to playng mamma with several capsized/sunk canoes.BUT HEY ! THESE ARE MY BUDS RIGHT ?
So I go to break out my annual lunchtime canoe trip treat-Sabrett dogs with a topping of onions soaked in super hot for three days.Damn good thing we have a fireman with us.
So as I get there the group is packing up and the fire is out dammit.
What to do ?
Cold dogs with hot sauce works for me in a pinch.
Lunch over I turn around to get back in my canoe and..............
over the bank I go backwards !
I land dead on my ass
Hehehe,,made lunch worth stopping for afterall.
No harm other than pride and the knowledge that camp fire jokes are going to include me we head downriver.
NEXT STOP is the overnight campsite around three or so..
When i say campsite I am talking about one of two secluded spots in the woods that have enough room for thirty guys plus gear as far from the civilized world as we can attain.
This group is not ready for the world of women and children (even though the majority is married with children)
oops,gotta go.Part two later,maybe
