That's funny, I am not really a hardcore audio guy, but in shopping for a cd player recently i had the opportunity to listen to both an arcam and a cary. my experience was probably not dissimilare to what you report as to how the equipmnt sounded, but my opinion was the opposite. The Arcam did nothing for me while the Cary seemed almost ideal. It was lush and beautiful. I don't care at all if it was accurate.
There is a Stereophile review of the Cary 300SEI where the reviewer gushes over the thing and the editor pipes in in a footnote that the measurments of the thing are so far off that it should not even be considered hifi. (the quote is "Footnote 4: I'm not going to be so charitable as RH. Given the fact that Stereophile would not recommend at all a loudspeaker that showed as unflat a response as the Cary when driving our standard simulated load, I don't regard this amplifier as a hi-fi product at all. It is actually a tone control, and an unpredictable one at that.—John Atkinson" See
http://www.stereophile.com/fullarchives.cgi?398) I am with the reviewer, if it sounds good to me, it is good, and I like the Cary 308t a lot.
My guess, then, is that the polarization stems from the fact that different people are looking for different things from a high end stereo. This should not be a surprise, no one would suggest that either a porsche or a Rolls is a bad car, yet they do not do what the other does very well. A Camry, otoh, does a little of what each does, and does it well enough for most people, but when one gets to the extremes the criteria change.
As a source for comparison, one of the most enjoyable systems i think i ever heard was a CEC transport with a Melos DAC, a CAT pre, Aranov amps and Sonus Faber speakers. I compared it at the time to a full on Levinson system with Thiel speakers. I will make no claims regarding accuracy or anything like that, all i can say is that the former made me happy, and the latter did not.
-d