So when do you tell your SO...

[jpelg]

OK, it's difficult enough to explain to people about this crazy, insane hobby of ours without them looking like I have three heads, or something. But normally I don't really care about that sort of stuff (at least now that I am an old man

).

Anyway, divulging this passion of music & listening via headphones to an SO is one thing. But explaining what happens on this board, what we do, and why we spend so much time doing it is an entirely different animal. Then try explaining why you are a moderator ("what's that?", she asks) - fuggetaboutit!

So what is normal protocol? If you are already in a relationship with somone prior to getting involved here, I'd imagine that it may become obvious how much time you are spending here, and it would probably come up in casual conversation at some point or another, no? How do you explain it?

And if you (are lucky enough to) find yourself in a relationship after signing your life away here, when is the best time, and what's the best way to bring it up?

"Uh, honey? There's something I've been meaning to tell you..."?

"Oh sweetie, I have to keep next Saturday free because I'm driving 200 miles to get together with some people I've never actually seen or talked to in person, and we are going to share and compare headphone audio gear, OK? No seriously, I am!"

See what I mean?

For those of you that have a supportive SO, when & how did you break the news? Inquiring minds want to know!

 

[tom hankins]

I got lucky. I met my SO at work by talking about music, and burned her some CD's. She heard my system, joined head-fi, and now has her own MP3 and modest home system. She got me NOS tubes for both Xmas and my birthday along a tube container and some vinyl and CD's. She has a bunch of vinyl in storage that we are going to dig out once my turntable gets here. I found a music lover.

 

[sbulack]

Like any other aspect of your life, you unfold it slowly to someone as you get to know them so that there's never a need to "break it" to them. Start with your interest in music and what you like about its SOUND, then you can mention incidentally what you listen to it on as you describe the music you are listening to and how it sounds. As time goes on, you'll mention the audio gear more and your interest in it to get the sound that you like best as it seems natural to let the SO know about this part of your life. If you describe music you like that almost everyone likes and describe its sound in an engaging way, the SO may want to hear it - when you think the time is right for a demo. But this aspect of your life needs to be revealed naturally as its in-perspective part of allowing your whole self to be known by another. Whatever horizons you'd like your SO to broaden to absorb something of your audio interests, show the same broadening of your horizons to absorb something of their interests. The name of the game is mutual discovery, so discover and discretely disclose toward being discovered.

 

[NotoriousBIG_PJ]

She asked, I told. Wasn't so bad...

Of course, when she noticed a giant hunk of metal with glowing glass, she knew right then and there I was a nerd.

Sometimes we listen to music on my system together via a splitter. ^^

Biggie.

 

[KenW]

Well, mine feels I'm nuts for spending so much money on this hobby. "Insane" is more accurate. There's no way for me to explain the way gear improves the sound and thus my enjoyment. Believe me, I've tried. While she can hear the difference, there's no way to convince her it's money well spent. Yeah, there are other things I should spend the money on but she's understanding of my crazy behaviour and want anything that brings a smile to my face. Got me a good one, huh?

That said, I must confess to being enlightened during one of our ever so brief conversations on the topic of superior gear and sound. While trying to explain how much better Sam McClain sounded through my gear vs the car's dealer installed sound system(which was my clumsy way of foolishly trying to justify my spending to her

), she commented "I don't really care about that....I just want to enjoy the music". Talk about a jolt. Sometimes I think I get too caught up in the details and fail to take the time to actually enjoy the music. Out of the mouth of babes!

 

[jefemeister]

I had a hard enough time explaining to a friend why I coudn't hang out with the following day: "Well, remember I told you I belong to this group on headphone dorks on the internet. Well, I'm meeting a bunch of them to hang out and talk about headphones." To which I get a reply: "ummm. . .well, just give me a call when you're done." I couldn't even imagine bringing this type of thing up in a date situation.

 

[JMT]

My wife is very supportive of my audio hobby. She does, however, scratch her head at times when it comes to Head-Fi. She thinks it hilarious every time I tell her about the latest and greatest "controversy" here and says it's better than a soap opera.

 

[elrod-tom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JMT My wife is very supportive of my audio hobby. She does, however, scratch her head at times when it comes to Head-Fi. She thinks it hilarious every time I tell her about the latest and greatest "controversy" here and says it's better than a soap opera.

Yeah, I get that too.

My wife is pretty supportive. We had a meet at my house, and literally covered the place with gear and such. She walked in...and smiled, because she could tell that we were all having a good time. She likes my audio buddies - they're polite, appreciative, clean up after themselves, and don't overstay their welcome.

What can I say, I married well.

She does like music, though not a lot of the stuff that I listen to. She can at least appreciate that I have a nice rig. She's not too crazy about all the money I spend, but you can't have everything I guess.

 

[cpw]

My wife really doen't get the whole audio upgrade thing. She's kinda used to the gear thing in general; 5 guitars, 5 cameras, several guns, etc.
She typically says: "You already have golf clubs (headphones, a gun, speakers,etc.). The whole upgrade thing escapes her completely. I guess I'm lucky she tolerates me and my gear habits to the level she does.
As far as time spent here...
She often asks what I'm looking at. When i tell her, she seems to only half believe me. If you think about it, how can a person who can't understand the need for more than one headphone even begin to comprehend this place. She probably thinks I'm looking at **** or spending time on singles chatrooms.
That said, we have a great relationship even though some of my hobbies have less than no allure to her. At least I'm not hanging out in bars or stripclubs all the time. She always knows where to find me.
CPW

 

[Genetic]

Quote:

Originally Posted by cpw She often asks what I'm looking at. When i tell her, she seems to only half believe me. If you think about it, how can a person who can't understand the need for more than one headphone even begin to comprehend this place. She probably thinks I'm looking at **** or spending time on singles chatrooms.

Or, in my case, knows that I'm a secret agent.... If only all that I spend in audio could stay secret...

Amicalement

 

[Onix]

I have to confess: My wife thinks this is a place full of nerds (what a surprise, huh?) who have too much money, no lives and no wifes. And all the stuff I have related to this hobby is pretty much a waste of money and time. That's why I am keeping my savings in secret, so I can buy a nice source and amp by Xmas, and I will never mention that to her and pretty much keep the stuff at the office. And by the way, I have never met someone who's as crazy about cans and music as me, at least not in person. Given that, how can I expect my wife to get this stuff?

But hey, at least my kid likes music

 

[dd3mon]

My girlfriend seems pretty neutral to the whole thing. She shows almost no interest in audio gear, has never even once listened to my system. However, she has appreciated (and confirmed the accuracy of) some audio tips I've given her about her own modest audio setups (plugging the port on her computer subwoofer, speaker positioning, etc).

When it looked like there was going to be a good chance of a Head-Fi meet at Purdue (unfortunately never fell into place) - she seemed amused, not interested in attending, but not at all upset about it either.

She doesn't really care how I spend my money, I take care of her well and I can easily afford any toys I buy for myself. She does think I'm a bit weird for ordering "all those stupid little glass things" off eBay though. That said, she did drop one of my Sylvania Black Plate 5751's once. Fortunately, it was alright, but had it broken this post could have been alot different

Basically if you GF knows you're a geek and is familiar with the territory - this is just another expression of geekdom. My GF has spent her teen years around guys like (and including) me who spend much of their time on the computer, playing games, going to LANs, etc. Head-Fi stuff is just more of the same to her.

-dd3mon

 

[Lisa]

"Honey, I've got to tell you someting. I'm a crossdresser."
She'll be so relieved when you tell her it's a joke, you're just an audio geek, it won't be a problem. Until you'll get a joint bank account that is.

Of course when you ARE a crossdresser...Well I guess if she accepts that, headphone geek won't be a problem either.

JMT, your wife is right. Head-fi intrigues are better than any soap opera.

 

[3lusiv3]

My wife thinks I'm going a bit crazy I think, and spending too much time here. We have a joint bank account and she notices every transaction I make. All is good though.

When my PPX3 arrived a cancelled a rare coffee meet with one of my best friends because I really had to go straight home after work to listen to my new headamp. I couldn't bring myself to telling him that was the reason for cancelling.

 

[Genetic]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3lusiv3 I couldn't bring myself to telling him that was the reason for cancelling.

Hi 3lusiv3,

What were you not able to tell him? Is it the fact that your new amp had 2 headphone outputs?....

Amicalement