so...i got a death threat today...
Mar 31, 2006 at 8:39 AM Thread Starter Post #1 of 134

pne

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well, sort of. The story goes like this. My girlfriend has this guy friend that she used to be sorta close with. He was obsessed with her even though she had a boyfriend at the time. When she split with her boyfriend, this guy wanted to get in on the action but I jumped into the picture and nabbed her instead. So now he seems to have a very strong dislike towards me, even though my girlfriend has repeatedly told him that he is nothing more than a friend and that she is not interested in him.

fast forward 8 months..

My girlfriend now hardly ever talks to him and tries to avoid him because he is coming off as a creep/stalker. He keeps complaining to her that she is letting their friendship/relationship go, and trying to manipulate her into spending more time with him through guilt trips, sympathy, etc. My girlfriend is too kind to tell him off, so she occasionally shows up at parties he throws, and says a polite hullo whenever she sees him, as to avoid tension.

Today one of my close friends tells me there's sh!t about me posted on the web. I find this extremely odd, and follow his link to find this creepers msn blog. On it he's written out numerous rap lyrics with the topics being both explicit and disgusting. They are all aimed at attacking me and my girlfriend. Some of the lyrics go into detail about how he is going to murder me and rape my girlfriend. I was so disturbed from reading these that I could not do anything for the remainder of the day. I lost my appetite and didn't get a single homework assignment done. I spent nearly an hour just shaking from rage and fear, until my best friend calmed me down. He has been trash talking me behind my back and making enemies for me. I have never done anything to offend him, I have spoken to him maybe twice in my entire life, and both times for less than a few seconds. He acts completely normal around me, doesn't show any hostility or hidden anger.

What should I do about this? My friend told me I should take this to the police, but I think that might worsen the situtation. I plan to tell my girlfriend about it tommorow, she hasn't seen the webpage yet. I really don't know what to do! I've never dealt with anything even close to something like a death threat or a jealous psycho.
frown.gif
please help guys, I need some advice and input..



edit- for those who want to read the actual blog..
http://spaces.msn.com/ngr-sqd/blog/
I warn you in advance it is not exactly family friendly content.
 
Mar 31, 2006 at 8:50 AM Post #3 of 134

Jahn

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i'd show the GF first because otherwise he'll wipe the evidence before she gets to see just why she really needs to cut ties with this guy.
 
Mar 31, 2006 at 8:56 AM Post #4 of 134

)v(ajin_R_

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I'm going to give a little more detailed advice, if anyone disagrees with me anywhere feel free to comment with reason... i say this situation could get dangerous if the guy is rapping such disturbing subjects...

this all seems pretty serious, unfortunately jealousy can become quite a problem depending on how long they have been jealous for and the degree of their jealousy, many people can mask their true emotions so well that it is impossible to detect jealousy or any ill feelings towards you. This doesnt seem like a problem that would go away since things haven't gotten any better, between your girlfriend and this creepy dude...

i would say the best thing to do, would be to keep your girlfriend away from this person, he seems obsessed and it seems to have affected his mind... although it wont help the situation between you guys, i would personally feel slightly easier that he does not come into close contact with either you or your girlfriend, unless it is unavoidable... if you seem him ever stalking you, or following your girlfriend or anything disturbing i would either warn him, or tell your girlfriend to warm him about disturbing your privacy, if he does it again... straight off to the police i'd say...

as for the disturbing lyrics, i dont know why he would post it on a blog online, perhaps he is trying to vent out some of his frustration, as people who are obsessed do tend to get violent if they linger over something for too long... I would cut contact with him off completely, with your girlfriend and yourself... i would then proceed perhaps to warn your friends, and tell you close friends about him and to make people wary of his mental condition, especially if he is trying to turn people into your enemies...

Also i would try and tell your girlfriend not to worry about this guy, she shouldnt be feeling sorry for him or anything like that... the reason is, if that guy does like her, he would respect your girlfriend's words and her decision to be with you... it seems like he has disgarded that completely, so he does NOT have the right to make her feel sorry for him, or put her on guilt trips...

I would not rush off to the police yet, you dont know the situation clearly...you should try and stay away from him, or even try to reconciliate through indirect means such as online or email... this is off a couple of things you have seen and can be misinterpreted, but i still advise you to be cautious, and keep yourselves away from him...

I'm apologise for not being able to give any further advice for now, but i do hope everything works out for you in the end...
 
Mar 31, 2006 at 8:59 AM Post #5 of 134

909

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I would contact the police as soon as possible and copy his blog onto your computer as documentation in case he tries to delete it. This type of stuff should be taken very serious. The police have training and experience with individuals like this and how to best approach and deal with him. Police involvement is your best option and express your concerns to them.
 
Mar 31, 2006 at 9:30 AM Post #7 of 134

Ticky

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First off... we need more facts.

Can we get the age of this person and your girlfriend? (I assume both would be around the same age as you (~18)).

Did he mention you and your girlfriend's real names on the blog?

From your perception of his person (real persona - not internet), does he seem to be a type given into rash and violent actions?

Is he in a gang? Any history of violence against other persons?

Does he go to the same school as you?

The reason I ask these questions is that, going to the police (although a very safe approach for your person) has serious implications for that person. I wonder if he is just venting - as another member noted - on-line. He might just have very bad manners and poor judgement.

Dude's a teenager just like yourself. Some people just are not as mature at that age.

I would encourage you to update your GF on the matter, just so that she is fully aware of the situation. It could have safety implications for her as well.

Next, I would urge you to speak with your parents or another adult you trust of this problems.

If he goes to the same school as yourself (and/or your GF) I would encourage you to speak with a faculty member you trust. Even if he doesn't, perhaps you should find your school's (college?) counselor.

Keep us updated.

Hope all is well.
 
Mar 31, 2006 at 9:33 AM Post #8 of 134

Uncle Erik

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That guy sounds like trouble.

I'm not familiar with the Canadian legal system, but in most US jurisdictions, his posts would entitle you and your girlfriend to a temporary restraining order. That is, a Court order preventing him from contacting you, under threat of arrest and imprisonment.

You might think that extreme, but you will truly regret not doing it if someone ends up hurt or dead.

Do not confront him directly. You should call the police and ask their advice on filing a report and/or seeking something like a restraining order. If you have a courthouse nearby, go there and speak to the Clerk of the Court. The Clerk (or similar official) will be able to help you and should have free paperwork so you can start this process.

Again, do not confront him. It is not worth your life or safety. Be safe, go to the authorities. Also, I would show the material to your parents or other trusted adults- such as a teacher, administrator, clergy, or anyone else you're close to. Be safe.
 
Mar 31, 2006 at 9:55 AM Post #9 of 134

james__bean

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I definitely wouldn't confront him about it. Putting someone like that on the spot just spells out disaster. Talk to your girlfriend and tell her to stop talking to him. If you guys go to the same school, you may want to talk to a counselor about it. If not, then I would probably go to the police. The guy will obviously be embarrassed or maybe even pissed off about it, but his feelings come second to your safety.
 
Mar 31, 2006 at 10:01 AM Post #10 of 134

Jeff Wong

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The following link has to do with restraining orders in California, so might not be applicable in Canada:

http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister...le_1056297.php

But, it seems to me restraining orders are for a false sense of security and have no real world effect on preventing violence. Quite often, police cannot do anything until after the fact.

This kid might just be venting... it doesn't mean he is going to act out. Can you be certain he is actually writing about you? I suspect you should show your girlfriend this blog, and if he is this obsessive, encourage her to cut off all contact, but, don't demand it of her - she may resent it.
 
Mar 31, 2006 at 1:14 PM Post #12 of 134

RYCeT

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Take a screenshot of his blog, get several witnesses, report his ass to the police immediately, don't confront him, I don't know how easy it is to get a gun in Canada, but in US I will not risk it.
 
Mar 31, 2006 at 2:11 PM Post #13 of 134

aerius

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Take screenshots of his entire blog, and save copies of his blog onto disc. Date both, and burn onto CDR for safekeeping. Take down statements from your friends, save copies of those, and then it's time to talk to the police with evidence in hand. They deal with this kind of crap a lot more than we do, they may take action or at the least should have some advice for you.

Don't involve your GF until you've got all the above evidence taken down and backed up, she may still feel bad for the guy and tip him off, further muddying the situation.


Or you could just kill the guy in his sleep and feed his body to the pigs.
evil_smiley.gif
 
Mar 31, 2006 at 2:19 PM Post #14 of 134

jpr703

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I'd report it to the police too. It's also possible that the police might at least tallk to him and that could help deter any future craziness on his part. Even if they don't do anything, at least they'll be forewarned of the situation in case anything else happens down the road. It might help you with a self-defense case or might help lead a trail to him if something did happen you or your girlfriend.

PS--when you take those screenshots, be sure to show them to your girlfriend, but do it after you talk to the cops.
 
Mar 31, 2006 at 2:26 PM Post #15 of 134

jonnywolfet

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in the uk we have a police advice line who would be able to give you the bet idea of what to do. i would do that. im pretty sure you can get advice from the feds before having to do anything serious. this kind of reaction could just as easily be a harmless vent from the guy, hes young, and i bet he's a bit confused. i wouldnt wanna get him into anything which could be a problem for him later in life.
 

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