In-the-canal phones are a learning experience. The intensity, perspective and clarity of the sound is unfamiliar, the occlusion can be disorienting and the seal - what defines the quality of the sound and the fit of this type of can, and what seems so weird at the beginning - all conspire to suggest that you've spent all that money foolishly.
Have faith.
The seal that is so critical and takes some fiddling to get, will come if you have patience. The size and shape of peoples' ear canals are as varied as there are heads in the universe. You only have to find the way to seat the damn things into YOUR ear canals that is comfortable and properly sealed, and - as a search here will tell you - there are any number of ways to accomplish that: foam tips, silcone tips, earmolds and infinite modifications of those.
(The solution for me - also small ear canals - was earmolds; comfortable and a great effortless seal.)
Trust the numerous threads here that attest to the great quality of the listening experience gotten from in-the-ear phones (and focus on visual input when in traffic).