Roomate Dilemma

[Computerpro3]

Well I recently found out who my roomate is and he's...interesting, to say the least. It turns out that other than attending the same school, we have exactly nothing in common, not even sexual orientation. Where I would watch a baseball game, he would prefer to watch ballet, while I am very involved in the Republican party he is a hardcore liberal,etc, etc. I've tried and tried to find something in common but I can't (other than attending the same school). Even the classical music we enjoy is polar opposites.

I realize that part of college is learning to adjust to new situations, but I've already become pretty good at doing that as I've been to nine different schools. I guess I was just hoping to get a roomate that I could at least be friends with somewhat. I'm not saying I don't like the kid, just that it will be quite awkward for at least a while.

I'm wondering if I should switch roomates now while it's easy and before we're all moved in. The problem with this is that I don't want to make the kid feel bad (although he probably is having the exact asme concerns about me).

How would you procede if you were in my situation?

 

[YamiTenshi]

Ask him what he wants to do.

 

[nibiyabi]

Don't rush into it. My roommate looked great on paper (we both liked football, Seinfeld, were both engineers, etc.), but turned out to be a total dick. Just see how you guys mesh and if it doesn't work out, you can always move. You might be surprised how well you get along.

EDIT: Then again, he came out to a stranger (i.e., you) in an email, so he very well may be the flamboyantly gay type. I don't have any problems if people want to act that way, but to be quite honest I'd have a tough time rooming with him*. See if you can have a phone conversation with him to get a better idea.

*This isn't to say that I couldn't be friends with someone who acts this way (I am), but it would just be too much to take upwards of eight hours per day, much like many of my straight friends who happen to be extremely talkative or immature -- I would consider maybe 5-10% of my friends as roommate-worthy.

 

[terrymx]

I agree with YamiTenshi. Be honest and confront him directly about your concern. If he is honest and understanding aswell then work out how to deal with it or change partner. Although I've had a very, very bad personal experience with roommate, if he act like an ass, I would switch right away, saves a lot of troubles. The guy gave me a lot of troubles, I made a mistake by giving it a few chances, but it did not improve, it was stressful and bad for my academic.

I hope this doesn't sound ignorant or prejudices, presuming he is homosexual and watches ballet, he's probably a nice guy. Base on your stance and his, I would be more worried about him getting picked on. If it turns out well, it is good to be more tollerent and you two may learn something from each other. But if your feeling of your beliefs are important and you find conflict with his that you don't feel okay with, then its good to shakehands and part.

Since you have different music tastes, headphones should solve the problem.

 

[ecclesand]

First and foremost, I suggest switching political parties. As for living with a gay man...what's the big deal? When I was based in Heidelberg Germany with the US Military, I had a gay roommate and this was before the Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy. He was a great friend...he got me listening to Prince and other R&B Bands and I got him listening to Metal. I recall his favorite Metal album and actually one of his favorite albums period, was Saxon's Power and the Glory. I think it would be a rewarding experience for both of you...just my opinion though...

 

[jonnywolfet]

liberal? seems like hes not likely to interfere with your stuff then. Dont worry about it, move in with him, it will be a good life experience.

 

[braillediver]

Tough one. Talk to the guy honestly and see what's up and go from there.

One of my best friends runs a Gay Bar here in Seattle, is totally Gay and a far-left Liberal- Considering us polar opposites is an understatement. With me being a member of the Vast Rightwing Conspiracy, NRA, Republican and breeder geek from the eastside. But for some reason we get along and regularly talk about politics, religion and life. It’s insightful to talk to someone who truly believes in the opposite of me and can articulate his beliefs. We argue the facts passionately and are still friends.

In a sense I’ve learned more from him than anyone who agrees with me. Depending on the person you might make a lifetime friend out of your time as roommates or not.


Mitch

 

[adanac061]

You don't have to be good friends to be good roomates.
You just have to respect each other.

 

[stewtheking]

Quote:

Originally Posted by adanac061 /img/forum/go_quote.gif You don't have to be good friends to be good roomates. You just have to respect each other.

QFT. Although I have never shared a room, I know it can be better to separate those you live with from your closest friends, otherwise you can end up spending all of yoru time with the same people, and no matter how good your friendship is, that's a hassle.

 

[FalconP]

If he is not being a jerk, I recommend enjoying his company, and respect his character and habits as he respects yours.

 

[elrod-tom]

If it were me, I wouldn't run right out and make a change just yet...

If you're both respectful of the other's lifestyle/beliefs/opinions, there ought to be no problem with the two of you rooming together. That said, if one or both of you are the rigid, inflexible, overly-opinionated, and self-righteous type (yes, these types come in all political stripes), you're going to have a very difficult time getting along.

I've known more than one person who has ended up with either a liberal roommate who thinks he's a fascist, or a conservative roomate who thinks he's a communist...and the results are rarely pretty. That said, I've had roommates who were VERY compatable in terms of politics and likes/dislikes, but we've found other reasons not to live together (e.g. differences in housekeeping preferences, the problem girlfriend, etc...)

The long and short of it is that you ought not simply bail on this rooming arrangement simply because you and your roomie are so different. You might find someone exactly like you in these ways but incompatible in others.

Oh, and just try explaining why you want to switch roommates to the folks at your university...THAT might be an interesting conversation!!

Good luck...