Personal Problems [HELP]
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gloco

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Quote:

Originally posted by skippy
i say screw them all before they screw you over. it's never too early to screw someone over.


God has spoken.
 
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post-202578
Post #17 of 36

aerius

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Quote:

Originally posted by CaptBubba
I wouldn't email him. Talk to him, in person. The guys needs to learn how to move on, can't he see that even if she does date him at some point he will earn the hatred of many people for "breaking up" you and your girlfriend? Kinda a lose-lose situation. Unfortunatly, some people just get obsessed.


I gotta second this one, nothing straightens things out like a nice face to face talk. E-mails can be brushed off with ease, and if your "friend" has any brains he'll do some creative editing to his advantage before forwarding it to your GF to further mess things up. Phone calls easily degenerate into misunderstandings, and it's way to easy to hang up. The sadistic side of me says it's time for a smear campaign against your "friend" to ruin his rep and any chance his has with the girl, it might be something to do if he steals your GF off you. The important thing is this, if you have a good healthy relationship with your GF, you'll be fine no matter what this "friend" of yours does.
 
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post-202597
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HD-5000

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Quote:

kill him and feed the body to pigs.


you are truly my favorite head-fi member.
 
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post-202629
Post #20 of 36

kelly

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There are many reasons why a girl would choose to be friends with guys. There's nothing wrong with that in and of itself. However, your girlfriend is in a position in which she knows that staying friends with this guy is hurting him, hurting you and hurting your relationship. Question motives. Why would she choose to do this? Likely, she is insecure as most young girls are and enjoys the feeling of flattery of having someone interested even if she does not intend to persue it. Again, it's not unusual to feel this way. It is, however, unacceptable. Only a bitch would be so selfish to not give your friend enough space to get over her and move on with his life. This isn't the kind of person you want to be with.

Secondly, do not talk to your friend. Your friend has betrayed you and it's clear that even you aren't interested in being his friend. There's nothing to work out and any attempt at communication of the traditional sort could only be twisted and used against you somehow. If he won't leave your girlfriend alone after she actually tells him no (and be sure she's actually done this as you say she has), then kick his ass. Some lessons have to be taught the hard way. This is a common one and an ass kicking is kinder to him than what his fate may be if he makes a lifestyle of convincing women to leave or cheat on their boyfriends.

In summary: dump her, kick his ass.
 
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post-202662
Post #22 of 36

TimSchirmer

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Quote:

Originally posted by grinch
kill him and feed the body to pigs.


Yep, grinch is right on the ball. Just don't get caught
 
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post-202787
Post #23 of 36

Onix

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Quote:

Originally posted by ian
Damnit Duncan, I'm talking like 2 girls...c'mon, I'm a hottie.



Now, now Romeo


And Fizzmix. I would do as Kelly says. I think, somehow, she enjoys this stressing situation. Women sometimes enjoy creating and fomenting this stuff. It doesn't make them evil, just women. As for the guy, talk to him personally, it's allways better than e-mail. If you guys can't work this situation, then talk to your girlfriend. The point here is to avoid stress as much as possible.
 
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post-202846
Post #24 of 36

jpelg

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Fizzmix -

Your "friend" = major *********. See niel's post about the "guy's unwritten code of honor".

Women (in general) = Evil. If they didn't have a pu$$y, there'd be a price on their heads.

In any event, you are far too young to be even thinking about a lifelong relationship. You have tons of experiences to go thru before that is a realistic proposition (see niel's post again). This doesn't mean that you shouldn't have this or other relationships. It just means that they are what they are, and nothing more or less. They are wonderful mirrors into your own self, and great tests of your character. You should use them to learn and grow, as much as any other educational experience. You sound as if you have done alot of that already. But as much as you may hate to even think about it, even this love of your life, will probably end in the next years anyway.

Now, go kick your "friend's" *****!
 
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post-203186
Post #25 of 36

DanG

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Okay, serious reply now. I had a similar (well, somewhat similar) situation when I was in high school. I had just begun going out with a girl and soon after another guy (a year above me) began to ask her out too and buy her presents. Anyway I was on good terms with this guy, and I think he just didn't want to accept that the girl was going out with me and not him. He talked to me about it and told me how he felt, and I told him that I'm not her dad so if she chooses to go out with him that's her choice, I'm not stopping her.

I dealt differently with the girl -- I continued to go out with her but became slightly cold with her. When she wanted to kiss me I said "no, we have something to talk about first." I told her that she has a choice in front of her -- whether she wants to go out with me or with him. I told her that if she wanted to go out with him, that's fine with me, but she shouldn't expect me to stick around. She chose to go out with me, and we continued to go out for a while with no fidelity issues (although it was very hard for me at one point not to accept the different-continents rule
).

My advice? At your age, kicking someone's ass can make a big statement and can often make your girl far more sexually interested in you. But if you want to deal with it the moral and more-mature way, you should talk to this guy in person and give him advice. It will be very humiliating for him but it will help him in the long run and should also put you in a good position. Keep in mind you should be giving him advice, don't ask him for anything because he's not giving. If you're at all confident in your girl's interest in you then act slightly cold to her and a little distant for a short while. Don't get her to want to go out with the other kid. But let her know what will happen if she continues to tread the "friend/girlfriend" line with her other "suitor."
 
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post-203190
Post #26 of 36

williamgoody

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Dan's right, but if he doesn't listen, and he probably won't

Kick his ass.

It was said before, some people can only heed the message in certain ways.
 
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post-203236
Post #27 of 36

Wodgy

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Quote:

Originally posted by Fizzmix
Also, I do get really good marks... My average is about 85%... Does anyone know what kind of marks I need to get into Psychiatry?


A psychiatrist is a medical doctor. High school marks don't matter for admission to med school -- it's your marks in pre-med undergrad university courses (basic sciences, organic chem, calculus, and statistics) that will matter. At a university with a reputation for leniency, you should aim to have an average above 90%; at a harder school, you should aim well above 80%. Volunteer and leadership experience will also matter enormously, particularly if it's in a hospital setting. It will take 11 years in university/training to become a psychiatrist (four years undergrad, four years med school, one year interning, two years residency). It's a long road, but if it's your passion, you should definitely follow it. Try to get started now -- volunteer at a local hospital, even if it's just helping to staff the kids' playroom. This can be very rewarding (not to mention a side-effect -- the social skills you build will make you much more attractive to the girls around you, even in high school).

If you're just interested in being a psychologist (they're not medical doctors), it just takes four years of undergrad. Psychology is one of the easier majors to get into. Your current high school marks are good enough.
 
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post-203237
Post #28 of 36

daycart1

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Quote:

Originally posted by ian
Be yourself. You can't do much to influence her. If it doesn't work out, it doesn't. Its not the end of the world, trust me. I can't even remember the names of my girlfriends when I was 15 (I'm almost 20 now). Think of it this way: how many old married couples do you know that were going out while they were 15?


Yeah!!, I mean, oh... I guess I starting "dating" my wife when I was 14, but it's hard to remember. That was 32 years ago!

As far as I can remember, the best thing to do is trust your girlfriend, as others have advised. But dump the "friend". Good luck.
 
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post-203254
Post #29 of 36

ai0tron

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Be strong enough to like her but continue with life and date someone else. If her and this guy have to figure out whats up between them they have to do that. Its not a problem there are many years left. The reason why people never get back together after they break up is because they obsess and fear breaking up, people need to learn to naturally move from one person to the next (when required) and not be so ******* jealous and primitive (im so guilty of this in the past). You can be much more sure you found the right girl if you dont keep her or yourself on a leash.
 
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post-203604
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Jackangel

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Quote:

Originally posted by grinch
kill him and feed the body to pigs.


Agh, such violence.


Why not just beat the **** out of him? It is the responsible thing to do, because it may save others from having to deal with his absurd behavior in the future. Or, it may just make you feel better. In any case, it's harder to make an advance on a girl when the bones of your feet and hands are broken in several places.
 
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