Osama gets to Paradise
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Old Pa

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Osama made his way to the Pearly Gates. There he was greeted by George Washington: "How dare you attack the nation that I helped conceive!" yells Washington, slamming Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry comes up from behind. "You wanted to end the American liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry viciously kidney punches Osama.

James Madison comes up next and says, "This is why I allowed for the federal government to provide for the common defense." He kicks Osama solidly in the knee. Osama is then subjected to similar serial beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe and 65 other people sharing the same love of liberty and the United States.

As Osama lies writhing with pain on the ground, groaning and bleeding from mouth, ears, and nose, Robert E. Lee picks him up and hurls him back through the gate where he now is to be judged. While awaiting his final journey to his final extremely hot destination, Osama screams in frustration "This is not what I was promised!"

An angel, looking puzzled, responds "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"
 
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post-192517
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Budgie

Never looks a gift amp in the jackhole.
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Thanks for that one, OPa.
 
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post-192525
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andrzejpw

May one day invent Bose-cancelling headphones.
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Nice one!
 
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HighwayStar

Won't excrete urine on your holiday (unless you do so to his first).
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LOL !
 
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Old Pa

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Thanks guys. I knew this wasn't headphone related, but when I saw it, I couldn't help myself.
 
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post-193244
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TimSchirmer

Repelling digital infidels. (Would that be called the Digifadah?)
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I'm glad you didn't mention jefferson... that guy was a macdaddy!
 
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stuartr

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I think Jefferson might have been a little amused to find himself in heaven....he was Deist, so in this paradigm, he would probably be in hell....
 
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kwkarth

Electronics guys... we have our plusses and minuses. With advent of digital everything, we're being phased out
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Old Pa,
Very funny! I busted up laughing out loud when I read it.
 
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Old Pa

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The last I heard, Kevin, was that after the latest unpleasantnesses in Afghanistan and Southeastern Asia, the lines to Paradise were getting so long that they had to start substituting for the promised 72 virgins and just giving up one 72 year old virgin apiece . . . .
 
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