Nice guys finish last . . . don't they? / unspoken feelings
Aug 15, 2004 at 3:07 AM Post #31 of 77

commando

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Thought some more. It's not nice guys who finish last, it's definitely guys with no self confidence. If you want something/someone, take a risk to try to get it. Want to go out with a girl? Ask her! She's probably as nervous and unsure of herself as you are, even if she looks calm and cool. If she blows you off she wasn't worth it to start with.'

Try this: go on holiday somewhere where no-one knows you, and be the person you want to be. For me this was confident, happy, and self assured. If you screw everything up no-one will know, and you'll have learned something at least.

I was the original nice guy, and at times in my life overweight. When I moved away I turned into the person I wanted to be, and from then on have had no problems with girls. The main problem I have is getting the pics of the old ones off my website so they don't get too jealous
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Aug 15, 2004 at 3:11 AM Post #32 of 77

Zanth

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Though I don't look like an uber-geek, my resume reads like one. In highschool I was in the popular crowd but I was the kicking boy. Cool enough to hang out with them, but only so much so...at which point the other guys would wail on me. It was a give and take I suppose, in fact, one of my good friends now...who was quite popular back then...graduated because of me
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He thanks me every day.

Nothing was much going on in the female department until about my senior year when all of a sudden things clicked. You know...looks matter for a while, but then women start to think...wow...I want someone who is confident, charming, nice and supportive, who can be there for me, provide for me if need be etc. Frankly any of the top guys who didn't go to university or college seem to be kinda back in the old town and the hotty girls who went to college moved on...they started looking my way.

It was a strange event. At grad...when the awards were being given out, scholarships etc...it sure wasn't the jocks taking it all in, (though some did) and in the end, the "heroes" of the day were the complete opposite, the actual antithesis of what had happened throughout highschool. University is truly an equal playing field, at least in Canada. Even the complete dorks, you know the guys, NO social skills, bright but not necessarily geniuses, but just no concept of socialiazing, even they stood a chance, rather than the crap life they led in highschool, running from the lame antagonistic more muscle than brain types.

The key is confidence. Women and men alike want to meet the real person, not some fake person (at least the people I hang with, perhaps I'm skewed). Confidence without arrogance shows concern for oneself as much as concern for the person one is trying to woo. It's a game for sure, but when played right it works out. I mean come on...I'm no catch at all, at least not in my mind, but my wife sure thinks so, and that is all that matters to me
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Aug 15, 2004 at 3:15 AM Post #33 of 77

commando

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What Zanth said reminded me of something. I think women are looking for guys who can provide for them and look out for them. It's a holdover from the days of cavemen, but it still holds true. Jocks can protect them, but modern times are setting in: intelligent guys will be able to provide for them better and still look out for them.

That's one theory anyway.
 
Aug 15, 2004 at 3:23 AM Post #34 of 77

Zanth

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If we speak about strict evolutionary theory then yes..it is all about providing and not the strongest/toughest. Frankly in this day and age brawn means squat. Case in point, Sir Billy G of MS
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My son of 3 months could probably give him a go and last at least 9 rounds, course Bill would have him "taken care of" after the fight.

If we are talking 21 century sociology, then frankly, women (who will be able to better describe what they want but taking from my wife) wnat men who are not afraid of being a true honest person, open, transparent, reliable, faithful, stable, confident, and ok...not so bad in the hay, but that can always be worked out later
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Aug 15, 2004 at 3:54 AM Post #35 of 77

Kirosia

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I think if we all knew what women wanted, this thread wouldn't be here.
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Aug 15, 2004 at 3:57 AM Post #36 of 77

commando

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Kirosia
I think if we all knew what women wanted, this thread wouldn't be here.
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If you didn't think we knew what we were talking about you wouldn't read this thread
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You do learn some things with experience, but hopefully you can pick up a few things from others mistakes/experiences too.
 
Aug 15, 2004 at 5:06 AM Post #37 of 77

jpburton5150

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yeah i used to be a lot like you kirosia, and sort of still am. im the nice guy, always willing to talk about everything. and then the girls give me the "oh im not interested in dating anyone right now" junk, which is often complete BS as i usually find out they've recently went on a date the day after i asked. but heh, im so used to rejections, i take 'em lightly. if someones right for you, you'll know it and they won't give you all that crap.

then i took tomeks approach of "playing the game", and girls have been a simple thing since then. however note that i havent turned into a "bad boy", i still never tease or bug a girl, and i respect that they have a personality and feelings, and arent just a nice body, unlike some of the horny heartless jocks i kno.
 
Aug 15, 2004 at 6:40 AM Post #38 of 77

ditto_n

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(Word of warning, I am on my way to being a Sophomore in High School, and this is only what applys to me and at my school)

Out of my closest friends right now, only one is a guy. Yet I'm sure that if I wasn't already very happy with my current SO, I could ask anyone of them out and they would go out with me, and if things went wrong, we would probably still be good friends.

As for my social ranking, we dont realy have a popularity scale realy, its more of a "click" thing based on music, cothing style, and what your intrests are. With maybe 30+ people I hang out with at school during lunch or whenever, there is a nice mix of rockers, Metalheads, punks, outcasts, druggies, and just plain geeks and loosers. (I myself happen to be a rocker/geek, My gf is a metalhead/geek)

I spend upwards of 6+ hours a day on my computer, and so do many of my friends. And I'm not just talking goofing around stuff, I happen to be very much into many "geeky" things, my closest female friend is on IRC a lot, very much into imaging, and loves anime, yet is a very atractive girl who has dated many a guy.

Nice guys don't finish last here, they are in fairly high demand. Maybe we are just a very wierd school.
 
Aug 15, 2004 at 3:47 PM Post #39 of 77

Oddball

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Quote:

Originally Posted by HiWire
And you know what? Many of them don't mean to be cruel.


Thank you!
 
Aug 15, 2004 at 3:56 PM Post #41 of 77

Kirosia

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I enjoy this thread. Makes guys like me realize we aren't alone. And that there is hope.
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Also, I know all girls aren't this way, but the good ones are so hard to find.
 
Aug 15, 2004 at 5:55 PM Post #42 of 77

Jasper994

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Kirosia
the good ones are so hard to find.



I'll agree with this wholeheartedly!
 
Aug 15, 2004 at 6:10 PM Post #43 of 77

aerius

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Jasper994
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kirosia
the good ones are so hard to find.


I'll agree with this wholeheartedly!



Right now there are millions of girls thinking the exact same thing.
 
Aug 15, 2004 at 6:33 PM Post #44 of 77

Jasper994

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Quote:

Originally Posted by aerius
Right now there are millions of girls thinking the exact same thing.


yup, I'm sure you're right...

And both men and women have their respective vices... Men tend to go for stereotypical beautiful slender girl that every woman seems to try to be and women go for the bad boy which many of us are inclined to become because it does bring more success with women...

Woman: "All I need is a boob job"

Man: "All I need to do is be a jerk"

Me: "How sad is all this...
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"
 
Aug 15, 2004 at 7:18 PM Post #45 of 77

GokieKS

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Quote:

Originally Posted by HiWire
And you know what? Many of them don't mean to be cruel.


I agree with that, but the fact that they're not trying to hurt you only seems to make it all the more painful when they unwittingly do so...

~KS
 

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