My Ex Tried to Contact me On Facebook - What Should I Do?
Oct 8, 2009 at 4:17 AM Thread Starter Post #1 of 63

dj_mocok

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Well my ex girlfriend whom I've lost contact for maybe 10 years tried to contact me via facebook. She's sending me message to find out whether it's me or someone else.

As much as I want a free 'just for the old time' shag, but I am not single and she doesn't live here anyway. Also I don't think my current partner would like the idea of me having a regular contact with my ex.

I actually don't really want to get in touch anyway, but part of me also curious about how she's actually doing now.

What do you guys think I should do?

I made a poll.

PS: I hate Facebook. I subscribed to it because my family sort of forced me to.
 
Oct 8, 2009 at 4:57 AM Post #3 of 63

roadtonowhere08

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Please tell me you are joking.

In Los Angeles, we used to have a radio station (97.1) that had a personality named Tom Leykis. People would call in all the time asking the same questions, and he would absolutely SKEWER them.

Here is my advice (and I am breaking the 11th amendment a bit
wink.gif
): If you are stupid, reply to her. If you like the girl you are with and like the way things are now, erase her message. There is a reason why she is your ex!!!
 
Oct 8, 2009 at 4:57 AM Post #4 of 63

omegaman

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The main reason I have never joined facebook, its the people you don't want to catch up with you that is the problem.

Anyway now she has you may as well go for the " Just for old times " option
wink.gif
 
Oct 8, 2009 at 5:08 AM Post #5 of 63

kb1gra

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My general rule for this kind of thing is, if you wouldn't feel comfortable sending her a message with your significant other standing right there, then you shouldn't be sending her one at all.

That said, you may be secure enough in your relationship to just send a message saying yes, it's the right person, glad to see you're doing well or whatever, and have that be the end of the conversation. It's entirely possible to end a conversation with one response.
 
Oct 8, 2009 at 5:27 AM Post #8 of 63

jilgiljongiljing

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Well talk to your current partner abt it, if she also feels there's no big deal in just saying "Hi, howr u doing, I'm doin fine" sort of thing, then go ahead. I personally think there cant be any harm from that as long as your current GF knows about it and its just a casual hey how u doin message.
 
Oct 8, 2009 at 5:50 AM Post #9 of 63

dj_mocok

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Well if I talked to my partner and asked for her opinion, I can probably think what she would say. I mean I used to keep some photos of my ex but she wasn't really happy with it so I (she) had them thrown away.

That's what I don't like about Facebook too for the same reason - people who you are not keen to contact might contact you and even worse - they can find out about all of your other connections as well.

At the moment, the poll leans more towards "Churros" so it's still hard to make the decision.
I was actually thinking to get in touch with her and who knows I might manage to convince her to send some nude photos of her just to see what I've been missing for 10 years but then again it wouldn't be fair to my current partner.

Or I can create a new fakebook, I mean facebook account and just reply to her exclusively via that account, but not like ongoing relationship, but maybe just to find out how she's doing at the moment (and nude photos would be nice too). So maybe just a few replies and that's it.

But what I don't understand is, why is she contacting me? We didn't really part on bad term before, but if I have to guess, she might either just broke up with whoever she was dating before or just want to see how I'm doing or maybe just to flaunt his new partner in front of me.

eg. "Hey, by the way have I mentioned that I have a husband now? He's a rich doctor and very handsome, and unlike yours, his is 4 inches - all that kind of thing.

But I don't think she will go that far just to show off her new partner. Maybe she just misses me, or just broke up.
Or who knows she might actually try to squeeze some churros out of me.

One other thing I don't want to happen is, if I don't reply and then she gets desperate, she might try to contact the people on my crapbook, I mean facebook list and try to get in contact with me that way. I don't want this to happen at all because the people in my facebook are only immediate family and they don't need to know about my stuff.
 
Oct 8, 2009 at 5:54 AM Post #10 of 63

dj_mocok

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UPDATE: Oh Snap!!!

I just checked my crapbook and the thing that I worried most just happened!
She has 1 mutual friend as mine which is my sister! Obviously she's been desperate to get in touch and tried to look for alternative way. See this is what I don't like to happen. Crap indeed!

Maybe I should just recreate my facebook account under different alias or something.
 
Oct 8, 2009 at 6:38 AM Post #12 of 63

Redcarmoose

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This has to be the best poll I have seen on Head-fi. You need to not make contact. It has never been good for me when I did. If you do like I did once (also when I had a new girl and went back for a review) it made me feel bad for my girl. The other thing you have to remember is the way it could leave you with no one. It is never as good as those memories are. For me it was a 3 on the 1-10 fun factor, plus I think I caught something and it was not a fish!
 
Oct 8, 2009 at 6:45 AM Post #13 of 63

dj_mocok

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Snap man! I don't want to have gonorrhea/crabs (not the edible one)/syphilis/aids/dandruff/retardation syndrome! (and all other nasties which can be transmitted via unprotected collision)
Speaking of which, did you at least take some nude pictures of her?

Yeah I think ignore is the best option (I'd be pissed too if my partner was secretly in touch with her ex). I am very happy with my partner now and I don't want to start anything stupid. But the thing is she made my sister as her "friend" list. Which reminds me to have to kill my sister when I see her.
Hmm... maybe I should put BOTH my sister and her in my ignore list? hahaha
 
Oct 8, 2009 at 6:55 AM Post #15 of 63

dj_mocok

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Quote:

Originally Posted by krmathis /img/forum/go_quote.gif
'just for the old time'...
tongue.gif




I'm very loyal to my partner, besides, I don't want to catch whatever Redcarmoose caught from his ex before. Also 10 years is a long time, last time I heard (many years ago) she dated a frenchman and broke up. You know Frenchmen - them all carry at least 2 different types of STDs and an attitude problem.

I am also still waiting for Kirosia's take on this. I find that his advice is the wisest one around here.

PS: Who knows it's actually just a Nigerian scamma trying to chop my dolla? (but her crapbook pic doesn't look like a Nigerian scammer - Nigerian scammers, they don't come that hot)
 

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