[Digitalbath3737]

Currently I'm a reservist in the army, while simultaneously working for my dad and going to school (kinda). I've come to realize that I hate civilian life and wanted more of the military. Imagine a time when you've been truly unhappy and amplify that 100 times and you get how I feel being a civilian. Now a reservist buddy of mine wants to join the army full time. We'd like to get stationed either in Hawaii or Korea. Neither of us will join full time unless we have one of those places in our contracts. I plan to re class to another MOS (I'm currently Civil Affairs) and attend school while on active duty. Perhaps later go through OCS (officer training school). Sounds like a nice plan to me.

I went to my mother's and told her what I planned to do. She completely flipped out on me. Not a single word of support came out her mouth. To be honest it hurt. I ended up storming out the house. Just as I was leaving my older sister came by. I composed myself and told her my planned. She just nodded, gave me her usually condescending look and told me I wouldn't succeed anywhere I go. So I ended up storming away from her too completely wounded.

I've always been the black sheep of the family. The only one who actually likes me is my 2 year old niece. My family's always talked down to me and never encouraged me in anything. Although after I excel at things they brag. I won't lie it feels good when they do that, but for once I'd like it if they supported one of my decisions. Anyway If I were to leave the country or the mainland there isn't any reason for me to come back (maybe my niece). My army buddies have felt more like a family to me in the year and a half I've been in, than my family has in the last 10 years.

Todays events got me thinking. I'm I doing this to spite my family or because I truly love the Army? I've watch people I grew up with turn to gangs, drug and a few of them to cults just to get that sense of family. I really wonder if that's what's going on with me? I'm joining something I truly believe in, just not sure if my reasoning behind it's as solid as it should be.

 

[wafflesomd]

I can sympathize with you on being the black sheep of the family. Sucks doesn't it?

Anyways.

If you truly believe in serving your country, then by god do it.

It doesn't sound like your trying to smite your family at all. When ppl try and 'smite' their family's like your thinking, I don't think joining the military is exactly what they would have in mind.

It's your life, not theirs.

 

[flamerz]

Sure, you're just doing it because of the social factor, but perhaps it's ideal? Maybe you should just move somewhere. You say you're in school still, so why not transfer to somewhere far away? You'll gain friends and be away from your family. I've heard that friends in the military create really strong bonds, though, so maybe it's just that. I don't know. I'm sure that you'd be able to get by happily moving somewhere else and not joining the army, but it's all circumstantial. If you're questioning whether or not you really want to join, it may be a sign that you're just masking it as a way to get away from everything else. The only one who can know is you, and if you don't, try a substitute like moving for a while.

 

[YamiTenshi]

Allow me to play devil's advocate for a minute.

I understand the completely flipping out from your mother. It might not be so much that she doesn't support you, but that she doesn't want to lose you. You're making plans to move thousands of miles away, you may not be coming home much often, and you don't seem like you want to ever move back to your family. This might have really hurt her too.

I'm not sure what your family situation is, but if I made the same decision my family would flip out too. At first I'm sure they'll disapprove and try to belittle my decision, but eventually I would just sit everyone down and discuss my career choice.

Even though there is the "this is my life" attitude, your decisions ultimately affect everyone around you.

Good luck with everything!

 

[gjustice]

If you are as unhappy as you say you are than you need to do something to change that. What you do is up to you, if you think the army is what is right for you then by all means go for it.

 

[PiccoloNamek]

To tell you the truth, if you were my son/daughter, I too would flip out if you told me you were joining the army.

 

[Digitalbath3737]

Thanks for the quick responses. I do have to get a better "it's my life" attitude. Sometimes I forget that and then sometimes I have it way to much. I feel like I'm on both ends of the spectrum this time.

Maybe I didn't tell my mother the correct way. I was pretty excited when I told her and maybe she didn't think I was being rational. I honestly didn't think about how she'd feel losing me. Of course I really didn't think she'd care enough to flip out on me. When I told her I was going to Iraq she really didn't give me a reaction. She just said okay and changed the subject. I thought hearing her daughter was going off to war would get more reaction than me moving over seas.

I'm not certain if I'm masking it as a get away. I'm not the type to run away and I don't want to start now. It's truly confusing me. I feel that I'm running to something better, but at the same time running away from something worse. This is the same reason why I didn't go away to college. Is it suppose to feel this way? Is this how it feels when you're about to make such a major change in life? I've never done anything this extreme before.

 

[Happy Camper]

Consider a spiritual family? Once you are in the army, you are owned. You have no life other than what the army needs. That said, I was military and it helped me grow up and realize responsibility but it was not during a period of world domination this country seems to be in. Sounds like you are trying to find out who you are. If military offers you a means to a goal, go for it. Remember though, once in, they will decide who you are.

Talk it out with friends, parents you respect opinions of, church members and career members of the army. Pray on it. It's a tough life with little rewards. There are a high % of people who couldn't make it in the civilian community because of personality defects that do good in the military structure. They need the rigid structure to live because without it, they can't figure it out on their own. Drinking is a problem as well. I'm not saying this as an Army issue, but a military issue.

Good luck.

 

[Digitalbath3737]

Happy Camper what was your MOS when you were in? Right now I'm Civil Affairs which puts me a bit more out there in the action than I'd like to be. When I re class I'm going in as a Medical Laboratory Specialist. Should be a cushy lab job, but of course the Army has a way of making everything a combat job.

The only experience I have with the army is training and the reserve. My units extremely laid back (we don't even salute or anything) so I doubt it's a good example of the real Army. Is the active Army extremely up tight like in BCT?

 

[AlanY]

The Army is not a bad career, but you're choosing it for the wrong reasons. Choosing any kind of career to fill an emotional need within yourself is generally a bad idea. Is there anyone you can talk to, a counselor, a clergy member, or someone you consider a mentor? You'd probably find it helpful.

 

[Redo]

Go for it! An Army Career can be very fulfilling, especially if you crave it ;D


Your family should be in support of you too, but ohh well, do it for you!

 

[flamerz]

I think AlanY has given the best advice so far. A counselor or psychologist should be able to help you get your mind straight. After straightening things out with your family, you should be able to make a clear decision.

 

[Happy Camper]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Digitalbath3737 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Happy Camper what was your MOS when you were in? Right now I'm Civil Affairs which puts me a bit more out there in the action than I'd like to be. When I re class I'm going in as a Medical Laboratory Specialist. Should be a cushy lab job, but of course the Army has a way of making everything a combat job. The only experience I have with the army is training and the reserve. My units extremely laid back (we don't even salute or anything) so I doubt it's a good example of the real Army. Is the active Army extremely up tight like in BCT?

I went in the Navy 74. I went into electronics. Viet Nam was winding down and the world was tired of war. Got out in 78 and went into the medical field. Can't give you personal experience but I have family in (or have been) the Army. Married life is hard. The army is good to make you a killer but don't do much to heal the scars you gather after you start killing.

My brother in law has mental issues to this day (Nam 67-68). Lots of anger management problems and very spooked. I have two nephews who went in after 9/11. One got out and is making a life for himself in real estate. The other is a recruiter after a tour of Iraq. He has some reality issues. Don't know how to live in a family environment.

You are a weekend warrior. That is not the same as having someone shooting at you or living a half a world away with no concept of what you will know as reality once there. You will be in a land that don't want you there with people who for the most part, don't want to be there. Life can really suck.

Have been to both of your duty requests. Everybody wants Hawaii which means you have to be something special to get it. Korea is also a different world. You are a foreigner. I don't mean to dissuade you from joining the Army if that is what you want. Just don't use it as a means to solve a temporary dilemma. It's permanent for 4 years or longer (depending on how long the military needs you) and can take you where you have no control of your life.

 

[Digitalbath3737]

Thanks a lot for the help guys. I've decided to first talk to a professional to sort out whatever issues I have. I do love America and would love to serve my country further, I just need to figure out if nows the time. Talking to a counselor will probably help. Plus like HappyCamper mentioned the military can put you in situations that will mess you up. It would be better if I face those without other things weighing heavy on my mind.

 

[amphead]

Always carefully weigh the major decisions you make. If you feel that you are emotionally ready to make a "real" commitment to join any branch of the Armed Forces, then maybe this will be a good fit for you. The training might help you to get where you want to go. The confidence that you can gain from self-reliance is usually another plus. Just think clearly and then make your decision.