I thought it was the season for giving... (in-law rant)

[wakeride74]

So my wife's side of the family lives mostly in the Roseville, CA area (just over an hour away from us) and we spent Thanksgiving there this year as we alternate from year to year, family to family with Thanksgiving and Christmas. Normally we draw names on Thanksgiving for Christmas to match up who will buy for who. Since we are all grown it ends up being an exchange of $50 gift cards or something equally predictable and lame. My wife adopts "angels" (kids in need for Christmas) through her work every year and we try and work with the Blue Star Moms fairly often to get stuff to the troops. We've also worked with a friend of mine at Travis Air Force Base to gather things for returned wounded/amputee soldiers. Anyways you get the idea we like to make our small efforts to help those less fortunate. It's not as often as it should be but Christmas does bring out the spirit so my wife and I thought it would be nice to adopt a family this year... a family in need that can not afford to give their children a nice Christmas... what could be wrong with that? Well if her brothers and sisters did not bitch and bitch about it! We suggested Salvation Army, Travis amputees, St. Jude's Children Hospital, the list went on and on and for every suggestion there was a complaint about someone lining their pockets or being against the war or you name it. I know you have to be careful where you donate to make sure the people in need are getting what you donate and I understand the war is a mess but lets get real here... returned amputees, kids with cancer?!?!?! I mean how freakin cold can you be?

Well, I finally got them to agree to donate $25 each and leave the other $25 for "family tradition" assuming the wife and I found a place that would accept items they needed instead of cash. This of course lasted as long as we were there this weekend and once we got home my mother in-law called and said the other "kids" (mid 30's to 40's mind you) changed their minds and did not want to "break tradition". My wife and I will just work with our church instead but what a downer. I know my wife was embarrassed with them and I felt bad so I didn't want to rub it in but is there some unwritten law that in-laws have to suck for the most part? Am I really lucky that she gets along so well with my family?

Anyways, I just wanted to blow off some steam... anyone else want to share in-law complaints or horror stories?

 

[AuroraProject]

Quote:

Originally Posted by wakeride74 /img/forum/go_quote.gif . anyone else want to share in-law complaints or horror stories?

Don't even get me started! I feel for you though, my mother-in-law is quite odd, and very annoying. My father-in-law on the other hand is a great guy, not sure how the two of them managed to hook up.

 

[sebastian589]

Wow that is terrible, I thought your rant was going to end with the donation amount being lowered to 25 dollars (worthy of a rant in my book), but the mother part is pathetic. I don't know what is worse: the in-laws refusal to donate any money to a noble, timely and thoughtful cause, or that many of these adults still required help from mommy to voice their opinions.

 

[ken36]

This is the season of giving. I've always thought it means for me to give and then sit back and feel the joy of being a good person. I never try to get others to do my bidding. Doesn't work. Let them be. Lead by example, at least that is what I try to do.

 

[craiglester]

well.. my mother in law suggested we just leave our 20 year old and very very ill cat in the spare room until she died. Needless to say we took the poor old girl to the Vet's to be put down humanely.

My Mother in Law freaked out that I put a parking block in the garage because when she used my car she kept parking it with the front bumper pressed into the wall.

She's also accused me of an affair with my wife's best friend the day before my wife comes home from 3 months in hospital after her stroke. (Not true of course)

oh and she bought me a hot water heater insulating blanket for my birthday!

I could go on and on and on....

 

[NiceCans]

ya know, even families who are against the war can be needy too!
I doubt that their children have very firm political views and strongly believe that the children should not be punished because of their parent's beliefs.

A few years back I knew a needy family much as you speak of. They could not afford any gifts or even a special holiday meal! I was told of how they were to be "adopted" for Christmas by the local Salvation Army, who was to provide a festive meal and gifts for the children. Upon doing an in-depth interview of this family to determine how best to meet their needs, it was "discovered" that they were a same-sex-couple (one of them was the biological mother). Suddenly, the Salvation Army 'disqualified' them!
Now I can understand that their relationship might go against some people's beliefs, but what did the children have to do with this? Who would have suffered as a result? The CHILDREN, the innocent!

Fortunately they were cared for by our little church community so the children were able to enjoy the holiday.

/rant off

 

[beerguy0]

Quote:

Originally Posted by wakeride74 /img/forum/go_quote.gif ... anyone else want to share in-law complaints or horror stories?

My mother-in-law is a nutcase...literally. I can't stand to be around her, but fortunately for me, neither can my wife or her siblings

We all find excuses to avoid her.

 

[mrarroyo]

I am actually very lucky, my in-laws are very giving and compasionate. Heck more than me!

 

[Scotty757]

If you're ever in need of a charity with ABSOLUTELY nothing bad to say about it, I would humbly suggest the one I feel most passionately about, Living Water.

It is an project to provide clean drinking water to those who don't have it. It is nearly flawlessly run (from what I have gathered working with it), and I cannot think of a more basic human need which we as a global society must address. Not much else matters in life if you spend your entire day walking 15 miles to the nearest well.

Ok, end soapbox. But seriously, I care deeply about their organization and encourage any support I can muster from others.

 

[wakeride74]

Well in the defense of my mother-in-law the other kids came to her after we left with this decision so it really had nothing to do with her but she could have been more of an advocate.

craiglester - dude, you win... she sounds brutal!

 

[craiglester]

yeah, and the best thing is she lives next door.. We're stuck with her in a way, I need someone to help look after my wife (stroke) and 11 month old, while i go out to earn a meagre living. So she's not all bad but she makes my wife crazy all day. what's a guy to do?

 

[Jon L]

Quote:

Originally Posted by wakeride74 /img/forum/go_quote.gif Am I really lucky that she gets along so well with my family?

You have NO idea what nightmare you avoided. When your mother and your wife hate each other, YOUR life is a fate worse than death.

They say men are childish, but women clearly have us BEAT there...

 

[wakeride74]

Well my mom is no picnic but my wife and her do ok. She recently bought a little dog and is driving everyone nuts with it! We've always been a big outdoor dog family so this little yipper terrorizing everyone inside is a change... add to that my mom's high pitched voice when she talks to it and buying dog clothes it's got everyone rolling their eyes. We've diagnosed her with LDS: Little Dog Syndrome

craiglester - I'm sorry to hear that... sounds like a challenging situation.

 

[EyeAmEye]

Quote:

Originally Posted by wakeride74 /img/forum/go_quote.gif So my wife's side of the family lives mostly in the Roseville, CA area (just over an hour away from us) and we spent Thanksgiving there this year as we alternate from year to year, family to family with Thanksgiving and Christmas. Normally we draw names on Thanksgiving for Christmas to match up who will buy for who. Since we are all grown it ends up being an exchange of $50 gift cards or something equally predictable and lame. My wife adopts "angels" (kids in need for Christmas) through her work every year and we try and work with the Blue Star Moms fairly often to get stuff to the troops. We've also worked with a friend of mine at Travis Air Force Base to gather things for returned wounded/amputee soldiers. Anyways you get the idea we like to make our small efforts to help those less fortunate. It's not as often as it should be but Christmas does bring out the spirit so my wife and I thought it would be nice to adopt a family this year... a family in need that can not afford to give their children a nice Christmas... what could be wrong with that? Well if her brothers and sisters did not bitch and bitch about it! We suggested Salvation Army, Travis amputees, St. Jude's Children Hospital, the list went on and on and for every suggestion there was a complaint about someone lining their pockets or being against the war or you name it. I know you have to be careful where you donate to make sure the people in need are getting what you donate and I understand the war is a mess but lets get real here... returned amputees, kids with cancer?!?!?! I mean how freakin cold can you be? Well, I finally got them to agree to donate $25 each and leave the other $25 for "family tradition" assuming the wife and I found a place that would accept items they needed instead of cash. This of course lasted as long as we were there this weekend and once we got home my mother in-law called and said the other "kids" (mid 30's to 40's mind you) changed their minds and did not want to "break tradition". My wife and I will just work with our church instead but what a downer. I know my wife was embarrassed with them and I felt bad so I didn't want to rub it in but is there some unwritten law that in-laws have to suck for the most part? Am I really lucky that she gets along so well with my family? Anyways, I just wanted to blow off some steam... anyone else want to share in-law complaints or horror stories?

While I personally may be all for giving when/where you can, giving has to be something a person wants to do. You shouldn't be forcing or coercing someone else to donate money for anything. If they don't choose to donate, there is really nothing wrong that, it's their choice, and in and of itself, is not an indication of a person's character.

You and your wife sound like two very generous people, and that's an admiral quality, but let the remainder of the family be on this one.

 

[craiglester]

It's been a challenging year for sure.
Baby Boy born on Christmas day and the wife has a hemorragic stroke 2 days later. Sometimes the headphones and this place are what keep me sane i think. I'm just thankful for a great kid, and that my wife is slowly getting better. Kinda puts stuff in perspective too.
I think we needed that, but not as much as we got perhaps.

Anyway, life goes on, and there's headphones on their way to me in the mail. Yay.

(Not the 340's I got outbid on alas)

*MUST* *GET* *K340's*