Hundreds of (astoundingly low-effort, low-quality) songs named coronavirus on Spotify
May 6, 2020 at 1:30 PM Thread Starter Post #1 of 3

TheRealRalph

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So I thought that there must be songs about the outbreak out there, but I didn't know there would be so many...
And so, so bad.
I listened to these for about 30 minutes. This is not just 30 minutes of my life wasted; this was 30 minutes that I'd trade 2 years of my life to not have gone through. There is one exception, though, which is the one I have screenshotted. Though not very artfully, it talks about pharmaceutical companies, hoarding and the government's blame game, and at least it rhymes (which most of these songs don't...)
No, I do not have a bias against hip-hop. In fact, the playlist named Unsightly Allure is my collection of quality hip-hop beats. Good hip-hop is wonderful.
Some select verses for you so that you get a sense of what these sound like without ear-bleeding:

"Coronavirus,
crap is real.
crap is getting real.
crap is real.
Coronavirus,
crap is real.
crap is getting real.
crap is real.
(of course, this stanza is so brilliant that he felt the need to repeat it for I-don't-want-to-count-how-many times -- in the most despicable, obnoxious compression + reverb sound possible)"
Edit 1: (of course, here crap is actually *** because head-fi is family-friendly)
Edit 2: (of course, I can't even type s-h-i-t, even using an asterisk)
The cringe was so strong I felt it difficult to breathe. And this was played three million times?!
After seeing that number and checking the number for a few rather obscure songs with impeccable composition and musicianship, I felt myself die...not just a little, at least a good 3%.

"Move, you got coronavirus.
Oooh, you got coronavirus.
Waitin' fo' the dudes [unintelligible] coronavirus.
I ain't takin' a trip with this coronavirus.
Move, you got coronavirus.
Oooh, you got coronavirus.
Waitin' fo' the dudes [unintelligible] coronavirus.
I ain't finna takin' trip with this coronavirus. "
Please. I don't even want you to rhyme anymore. At least don't end quite literally every single line with coronavirus.

"Yo.
(literally one full bar later) **** coronavirus.
Yo.
(again, one full bar later)**** coronavirus.
Ay, ay, ay ay, ay, ay... (yes, I counted -- 6 "ay"s)"
At least this one rhymes (with different words) when the rapping starts.
Edit 3: Here **** actually means eff-you-see-kay.
The cringe hurts so much I am starting to laugh uncontrollably.

Screen Shot 2020-05-07 at 12.50.44 AM.png
 
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