How important is it to be a good person?

[Flasken]

How important do you think it is to be a good person in our society? To be nice to other persons, regardless what they might think of you afterwards. (some people don't like people who actively try to be nice, what's up with that?)

How important do you think it is to be nice to friends, family as well as strangers? Can one be too nice a person? Do you think it is necesarry to be a tough guy in our modern society?

Odd questions I know, but please let me know your opinion!

 

[RickG]

When I was young, my momma sat me down and said "now Forrest, you'll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar".

 

[Audio-Me]

You don't have to be "nice" to be a good person.

Are you asking if it's ok to be a ********? Because the answer is most definately not.

 

[rickcr42]

Quote:

When I was young, my momma sat me down and said "now Forrest, you'll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar".

UH OH

..............................
[size=small]I'M SCREWED[/size]

 

[zowie]

The answer to your main question is being a good person is THE most important thing. Not so much because of our society, although I don't discount that at all, but because by failing to be good you are, as the grade school adage goes, only hurting yourself.

Like, there are a lot of reasons not to steal - punishment if you get caught, harm to the owner, etc., but most of all you shouldn't steal because by doing so you pollute your character (or some might say your soul, depending upon religious beliefs), even if the other reasons don't apply.

What is "good" in this context? Given that people answer that with everything from Aristotalian ideals to blowing themselves up on busses, we'll never answer that here. (Although I nominate giving away records to fellow head-fi members for the good category.

)

 

[kpfeifle]

Robert Pirsig basically devoted an entire book to this, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintaince. An excellent book if you have not read it!

 

[Flasken]

Okay, everybody please forget everything you have come to think of me during my year of head-fi membership...

In real life, this is sort of how things are:

When I was a bit younger I did some really nasty things, and since then I've been trying very hard to be a better person. Changing my complete character was a bit difficult in the beginning, but now I think I've become a quite nice person, at least compared to how I was before. I don't want it to sound like I'm praising and complementing my self, so think of it more as a guy who's proud that he has lost an impressive amount of weight, or something like that.

My problem is, a lot of my classmates and other people on the school can be a bit nasty sometimes. It seems that they bacause of that are more popular, especially among the girls. Even people who get to know me eventually end up spitting at me for seeming like such an underdog. Which I really am not, I have the greatest self confidence in the universe, because I feel good about myself and because I was brought up by really great parents.

 

[redshifter]

one man's "good person" is another man's devil. generally treat people like you want to be treated, for me i like to be left alone. i also like peace and quiet so i try to respect others by not blasting movies or music, and wearing closed headphones on the bus. i'm also very private, so i respect other's privacy, which means i'm not one to ask a lot of personal questions ("what do you do for a job?" "are you okay?" etc.). yet to some people this means i'm antisocial, but to myself i'm just trying to treat others like i like to be treated (and hoping they'll clue in

)

 

[Flasken]

Quote:

Originally posted by redshifter one man's "good person" is another man's devil. generally treat people like you want to be treated, for me i like to be left alone. i also like peace and quiet so i try to respect others by not blasting movies or music, and wearing closed headphones on the bus. i'm also very private, so i respect other's privacy, which means i'm not one to ask a lot of personal questions ("what do you do for a job?" "are you okay?" etc.). yet to some people this means i'm antisocial, but to myself i'm just trying to treat others like i like to be treated (and hoping they'll clue in )

Hey guess what, it sounds like we are quite alike redshifter!

 

[redshifter]

Quote:

Originally posted by Flasken Hey guess what, it sounds like we are quite alike redshifter!

there is no emoticon for what i'm feeling now!

the difference is i ususally stick to wine or beer.

 

[LobsterSan]

Quote:

Originally posted by Flasken My problem is, a lot of my classmates and other people on the school can be a bit nasty sometimes. It seems that they bacause of that are more popular, especially among the girls.

Yes. I will never quite understand this. A lot of times, the popular girls or whatever are all into the ********... I've never understood particularly why ******** get all the girls. Maybe it's the whole badboy persona or something like that. The girl to ******* ratio is much higher than the girl to niceguy ratio.

But in time, I've realized that the girls that want to be with an ******* are the girls that I don't really want to be with in the first place. Mostly because I am not an *******. But also because then it is possible to be in a mutually respectful and loving relationship. Girls that go for the *******-type do not have enough self-respect for me to be interested in them anymore. And there are plenty of intelligent and spectacular girls out there who are repulsed by the machismo popularity contest BS that I think you are describing.

I think the whole meanness/******* exterior is often just a front to shield the insecurities that everyone has. It comes off as confidence, but it usually just masks a wealth of problems underneath. I wouldn't fret too much. Nice confident guys ultimately end up with people who are like them, and the whole 'popularity' BS and fake unfulfilling friendships don't amount to much more than an ego boost. If you're happy with who you are, then that happiness will come through and be seen by the people who really matter in your life.

 

[ServinginEcuador]

Quote:

Originally posted by RickG When I was young, my momma sat me down and said "now Forrest, you'll catch more flies with honey than you will with vinegar".

My momma told me, "You could catch more flies with a dead squirrel than with sugar!"

IMHO, being a nice person, ie, someone who looks to help and bless others, do things without expecting anything in response, repaying mean people with kindness, etc. is one of the greatest gifts you have to give to those you encounter. That doesn't mean you're a walking mat for others to step on and walk all over, but that you choose to do these things for those you can. This is one of the greatest feelings you'll ever experience. It is a legacy you'll leave, that you were kind, considerate, and a decent person. You took time to spend with those who would never be able to repay your kindness. You loved those who were unlovable. Etc.

 

[radrd]

Quote:

How important is it to be a good person?

It's more important that everyone thinks you are a good person.

 

[peter braun]

The majority of people we run into on a daily basis, whether they be someone in a checkout line or a person we bump into while entering a building, we are unlikely to ever meet again. I believe that we often forget that these people are unique individuals much like ourselves, just trying to get through the day. We should make the best of these brief encounters, for under different circumstances they may have been a friend, neighbor,or even a close relative.

 

[Audio-Me]

I'm with redshifter on this one, leave people alone! Live and let live. You don't have to openly do kind things to be a good person, just respect others and don't bother anybody.