I had a very good friend that offed himself 5 years ago. I still sit and wonder where the line of hope ends, where trying to recover or have a normal life becomes a burden more than a chance. Can others still help at that point? I couldn't, and I never felt more helpless at the time. The longer I had to think about it though, I realized something. Some people just earnestly wish to move on, and when are we to simply say "it is your choice"? Coq, I'm glad I came back to Head-fi at this time. I can only imagine the nightmare that you feel. Shoot me a message if you want to chat, and if a week is unpreventable, we'll all be there having some beers and bitching about weird sound signatures soon enough.