Girlfriend Trouble:Need help within 16 hours !
Mar 6, 2006 at 5:13 PM Thread Starter Post #1 of 103

]|[ GorE

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I messed up.I babbled out non-private stuff aka my girlfriends "Tuesdays schedule" to one of our mutual friends.And the friend went and told her.
She thinks its private though.......

I realize how wrong i have been and am feeling really really sorry for having babbled things out.And my girlfriend is angry and rightly so.

What do i say to her to set things right ? What would you do ? PLEASE HELP!

PS: I was thinking of leaving a bouquet of flowers at her door tomorrow.

And the bad thing is that she is leaving for the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia to see her father on Wednesday and i cant see her in the open(cause she doesnt want her mom to know about our relationship).
 
Mar 6, 2006 at 5:20 PM Post #2 of 103

Jahn

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If you both agree that the actual info is non-private, no harm done. If your GF is worried more about the fact that you're talking about her behind her back, hey, everyone does it. Now if you misinterpreted the fact that the revealed info was actually Private and should have stayed as such, you're in big trouble and go for those flowers. Finally, if her father is the Iron Sheik, I think you need to do a full body prostration and beg for her forgiveness.

Oh, and don't tell that mutual friend of yours anything anymore.
 
Mar 6, 2006 at 5:24 PM Post #3 of 103
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What the heck? Doesn't sound like anything for her to get upset about. Perhaps she's having other problems and is using this as an opportunity to vent pent up emotions. Either way, don't go overboard apologetic, as you didn't do anything really wrong (edit: assuming your first post is accurate). Flowers are way way out of the question. An "I'm sorry baby" is about the extend of what I'd do. Possibly spend a little effort trying to determine the real cause of the tantrum and see if she can be consoled on that. If she really is that upset about the schedule thing, don't cave in like a wuss
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Mar 6, 2006 at 5:45 PM Post #5 of 103

saab

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Quote:

Originally Posted by nabwong
Tell her that you were insensitive and that you will be more sensitive to her in future. It will work out over time...oh..and don't trust the other friend again.


Agree completely. If I am reading this correctly, it sounds like you didn;t think you were doing anything wrong. Explain to her that you were mistaken, and that you will be more discreet with her schedule. If she is not able to move on after that, more than likely, she has other issues.

This really does not seem to be a big deal to me, so maybe I don't full understand the situation. I can't imagine my wife beeing upset at me for a minute if I were to tell her friend about her schedule. She would probably just call me an idiot and forget about it.
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Anyways, best of luck
John
 
Mar 6, 2006 at 6:05 PM Post #7 of 103

jpelg

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They are both correct. Just apologize, and mean it. By that, I mean don't hold onto an preconceptions what will make sense to a woman based on your own logic. Especially if it's no skin off your back.

If she says it's a problem, it is. No amount of your male-based logic will change that. If you ever want a harmonious relationship with a woman, now or in the future, learn that as soon as possible. No joke.
 
Mar 6, 2006 at 6:06 PM Post #8 of 103

saab

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Quote:

Originally Posted by ]|[ GorE
What kinda flowers ? Dont know her choice !
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Again, I am sorry if I misunderstand, but this does not seem like a "Buy her flowers" offense.

If you are set on taking blame for this than I would advise against roses. I believe roses should be given on special occasions to bring on happy feelings. If she gets roses when you screw up, she will not be able to help feeling a little sad when she gets them for good reasons. Just go to a local flower shop and pick out something that is not too expensive.

But if you ask me, going down that road would be a mistake. Trust me, there are many worse mistakes that do warrent buying flowers. Relationships are full of mistakes; you don't want to use up the flower thing on something so trivial.
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-John
 
Mar 6, 2006 at 6:10 PM Post #9 of 103

juzmister

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i would just blaim the friend, and say the friend exaggerated on what you said. If she is still upset, tell her you are sorry, and you never intended for her to get hurt.
 
Mar 6, 2006 at 6:15 PM Post #11 of 103

blip

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I'm with Saab on this, in comparison to the dumb stuff I've done in my (rather successful and extremely happy) relationship with my SO, this is pretty minor. While there may be extenuating circumstances, I wouldn't make too big of a deal about it.

Just say you're sorry. That you didn't understand her feelings on the matter and that you will do better next time. If you can't see her face-to-face a hand written note or (though women dislike them for some reason) an e-mail should suffice. Be sincere... You obviously are and she'll probably come around.
 
Mar 6, 2006 at 6:18 PM Post #12 of 103

saab

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I don't know about blaming the friend.
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The most important point you need to make to her is how you will not repeat the same mistake. You need to find out what exactly she is upset about and why. The only way to do this is to listen. Listening is the most important part of a good relationship. Don't assume you know anything, as men's and women's thinking processes tend to be very different.

Once again, I feel that this situation would best be remedied by a good talk, differentiating between intentions and results. You did not for one minute intend to offend or hurt your girlfiend, but that is what resulted. Like I said above, find out why it hurt her, explain that you understand, and move on.
 
Mar 6, 2006 at 6:18 PM Post #13 of 103

nabwong

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Quote:

Originally Posted by jpelg

If she says it's a problem, it is. No amount of your male-based logic will change that. If you ever want a harmonious relationship with a woman, now or in the future, learn that as soon as possible. No joke.



Learnt this the hard way. My gf and i have an issue with marriage. She insists that telling her i want to marry her and proposing are 2 different things. I think they are the same. So she gets upset that i never tell her i want to marry her when in my mind, i do and am waiting for the right time to propose. So i just gave in, tell her i want to marry her and will leave the "surprise proposal" later. Women.....
 
Mar 6, 2006 at 6:21 PM Post #14 of 103

saab

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Quote:

Originally Posted by blip
...Just say you're sorry. That you didn't understand her feelings on the matter and that you will do better next time. If you can't see her face-to-face a hand written note or (though women dislike them for some reason) an e-mail should suffice. Be sincere... You obviously are and she'll probably come around.


Agreed.

If this is something she can not get over without flowers, I would suggest looking elsewhere. Otherwise, you will single handedly support the flower industry with all of the crazy things that upset women.
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