Food for thought...
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gsferrari

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[size=xx-small][NOTE] From an email...I dont have the time or the grey matter to think of *** like this
[/NOTE][/size]


Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?


Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?


Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?


Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?


Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?


What is the speed of darkness?


Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?


If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?


If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?


If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?


If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?


Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?


If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation


Can you cry under water?


What level of importance must a person have , before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases ?


Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change? ..... They're still going to see you naked anyway
 
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purk

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Guru,

Nice post man.
 
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GoRedwings19

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Dude you got way too much time on your hands
 
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D-EJ915

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Quote:

Originally Posted by gsferrari
What is the speed of darkness?


If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?



000000000.0000000000000nM/Y

0, 0K, nothing can be colder.

Sauce packages.
 
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Sovkiller

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Quote:

Originally Posted by GoRedwings19
Dude you got way too much time on your hands



 
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gsferrari

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Quote:

Originally Posted by GoRedwings19
Dude you got way too much time on your hands




I suspect you missed the *first* line of the post...
 
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DanT

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Quote:

Originally Posted by gsferrari
[size=xx-small][NOTE] From an email...I dont have the time or the grey matter to think of *** like this
[/NOTE][/size]



Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Because older remote tend to have bad contact we verify if it's a case of old crappy remote or only dead batteries

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

They presume your eventualy have more funds therefore charging you a fee if you want to still use this bank

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

People won't believe you in both case it just that they can prove you wrong by testing the paint in case of stars they just discredit you in silence

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Because the bottle is close just leave an open bottle for a couple of month you see the glue will all be stuck inside hard

Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?

They massproduce sterilised needles it's cheaper than finding non steriles needle

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

It doesn't look good on TV

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

the gun is bigger so it's more annoying to have it in front of you small bullet can easly be ignore, superman has to activate his "x-ray" vision so his vision is not impede by the gun which may be more demanding than just ducking

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

So they don't get kill before they reach their target

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

From www.etymonline.com: late O.E. awlyspian, from wlisp (adj.) "lisping," probably of imitative origin (cf. M.Du., O.H.G. lispen, Dan. læspe, Swed. läspa). The noun is first attested 1625.

What is the speed of darkness?

A Book



Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

no

If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?

in more styrofoam so it doesn't not breaking the styrofoam in the shipping

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?


If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

it's a misconception The genus Homos followed the Australopithecus which no longer exist, They never evolved from simians

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

They are being help

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?


It's true Check this from US Census Bureau Annoted Bibliography point 36
Quote:

Johnson NJ, Backlund E, Sorlie PD, Loveless CA: Marital status and mortality: The National Longitudinal Mortality Study. Ann Epidemiol 2000;10:224-238.

1. For both middle-aged males and females, non-married groups showed significantly increased mortality risk compared to corresponding married groups.
2. Older age groups did not show as strong relationsships between married and non-married groups as their younger counterparts.
3. For cardiovascular disease, statistically significant risks near 1.3 were shown for widowed and never-married white males ages 45-64 and for white females of the same age group statistically significant risks of around 1.55 were observed.
4. For all cancers and other causes, not cardiovascular, high risks were shown for all non-married groups compared to the married groups.



If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation


Can you cry under water?

Yes
What level of importance must a person have , before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Assasination you need to kill someone for his political or ideological belief if it's for personal reason it's just a murder

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Banks don't grow money neither

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

It's a bitch to make a squared pizza and also a round box, Round pizza are much easier and square box also

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases ?

Putting wheels on suitcases didn't impress the russian enough

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Yes the judicial system is hearing the case not the accused person

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

They can cover more ground this way to see all the thing from the ground they have to pay a cab to travel to the different place

Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change? ..... They're still going to see you naked anyway

They may only see part of your nudity like only your behind for example
 
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Aman

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DanT: THAT is somebody who:

1. Is being a smartass (only joking here)

2. Has way too much time on his/her hands.

However, I will agree that many of the questions in my opinion were not very stellar, and kind of just play on words.

PS: I was once told that the idea of "sleep like a baby" came from the fact that most children spend the first 2-3 days of their lives sleeping 2/3 of every 24 hour period.
 
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seeberg

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Funny thread
This might just make my night, and I need it after last night. I mean, really, too many shots of Jack Daniels and Abe of HeadFi do not mix too well

,
Abe
 
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archosman

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If you were in a vehicle...

going the speed of light...

and turned the headlights on...





would they work?
 
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Czilla9000

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Quote:

Originally Posted by D-EJ915
000000000.0000000000000nM/Y

0, 0K, nothing can be colder.

Sauce packages.



If its 0 degrees Kelvin, nothing can be colder. If its Celsius or Fahrenheit, it can get much, much colder.

The email does not specify
.
 
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raymondlin

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Quote:

Originally Posted by archosman
If you were in a vehicle...

going the speed of light...

and turned the headlights on...





would they work?



yes. Same reason as why you throw something at someone on the bus when the bus is going 75mph. It will still hit the person in front rather than suspend in the air, even if you drop it, it won't go flying back to the back of the bus.


As for the OP, funny stuff, thou i've seen most of them before.
 
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dougmwpsu

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As I understand relitivity.. no. A vehicle cannot travel at the speed of light, thus the entire situation is absurd. However if you were traveling at just about the speed of light, let's say 99.99999...% and flicked on your headlights, they would function completely normally. the light from them would still zoom away from you at a staggering 3*10^8 m/s. to the "stationarly" observer though, you and the light would be going just about the same speed with the light slowly pulling out in front.

Quote:

Originally Posted by archosman
If you were in a vehicle...

going the speed of light...

and turned the headlights on...





would they work?



 
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saint.panda

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Or he could have been travelling at the speed of light since he was born
 
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