[clairitin-clear]

Wish granted. But you have the power of the son in the palm of your hands. You never played catch with him. You are powerless.
 
I wish my roommate would stop sleeptalking

 

[TwinQY]

Wish granted, but instead, he gets up every morning at 3 to talk to you in person. Mostly about Seinfeld and stuff.
 
I wish I had a photographic memory for towels.

 

[dudlew]

Wish granted, but instead, he gets up every morning at 3 to talk to you in person. Mostly about Seinfeld and stuff.


 


I wish I had a photographic memory for towels.

 


Wish Granted, but the sight of a dirty, well soiled towel invokes a strong subliminal desire and need to eat it, and you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night where you last saw a dirty towel, with strands of towels stuck in your teeth not knowing how that happened.

I wish headphone pads were indestructible

 

[TwinQY]

​Wish granted, but headphones never, ever break in as a result. You wake up to realize that the thousands of dollars you've poured into this ridiculous venture has been an utter waste. Failure washes over you and you start to break down. They move you into an institution, but what can they really do? The system has done nothing but tear you down piece by piece. You resist all of their efforts to fix you. Eventually they give up and let you go. You live alone, working at the bowling alley down the street. On weekends you go to the library and take out books on chemistry and nuclear physics. Soon, they'll rue the day...
​
​I wish my washing machine could also dry clean.

 

[clairitin-clear]

Wish granted, but it always shrinks your clothes, little by little, until they cease to exist, succumbing to the void.
 
I wish chocolate and candy were healthy for me.

 

[Pharmaboy]

  Wish granted, but it always shrinks your clothes, little by little, until they cease to exist, succumbing to the void.
 
I wish chocolate and candy were healthy for me.

 
OK. Chocolate and candy are healthy for you.
 
But sadly, you're the only person left on earth (chocolate and candy killed them all).
 
I wish I were much taller & stronger.

 

[TwinQY]

​Wish granted, but you also become much fatter and slower.
​
​I wish Willy Wonka's factory was actually a front for his cocaine cartel.

 

[serman005]

  ​Wish granted, but you also become much fatter and slower.
​
​I wish Willy Wonka's factory was actually a front for his cocaine cartel.

Wish granted, but the result will be mass cocaine addiction in children everywhere, causing massive expenditures for drug and alcohol treatment, thus bankrupting the economy and leading to chaos and madness. 
 
I wish I could run a 4.2 second forty.

 

[Pharmaboy]

  Wish granted, but the result will be mass cocaine addiction in children everywhere, causing massive expenditures for drug and alcohol treatment, thus bankrupting the economy and leading to chaos and madness. 
 
I wish I could run a 4.2 second forty.

 
("wish granted" is genius)
 
OK, you can run your 4.2 second forty. But it's 40 feet, not yards
 
(ie, you're slow as crap)

 

[Pharmaboy]

  Wish granted, but the result will be mass cocaine addiction in children everywhere, causing massive expenditures for drug and alcohol treatment, thus bankrupting the economy and leading to chaos and madness. 
 
I wish I could run a 4.2 second forty.

 
oops, forgot the wish.
 
I wish people would stop texting while driving.

 

[TwinQY]

Wish granted, but everybody decides that it is no longer worth it to drive if they are unable to text, and the automotive industry becomes a shadow of its former self. Tesla becomes bankrupt, and as the Martians enforce travel embargos, SpaceX loses its funding. Elon Musk becomes destitute as a result and moves into your garage.

I wish Elon Musk moved into my garage so he could transform my bicycles into hoverboards.