[Ryokan]

Spilt red ink on the floor and can't remove it, why not turn it into a feature?

Spoiler: ink

 

[Joaquin Dinero]

Spilt red ink on the floor and can't remove it, why not turn it into a feature?

Spoiler: ink

*person enters room*

"What happened here ?"

*other person points to red spot*

"Thats what happened to the last guy who asked me that."

 

[Pharmaboy]

Spilt red ink on the floor and can't remove it, why not turn it into a feature?

Spoiler: ink

In high school I was voted "Most Likely to Become a Chalk Outline"

 

[BobG55]

 

[DenverW]

So the other day a crow flew into my room and asked me to donate to his charity.
"What is it?" I asked.
CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW! he responded.

"FOUR GOOD CAWS!"

 

[The Jester]

Back a hundred years ago a gentleman and his new bride embarked on their honeymoon in a horse drawn carriage,
After a few miles the lead horse suddenly stopped, husband alights from the carriage, walks right up in front of the horse and sternly says
“That’s once !”
All’s well until a few miles later when the lead horse suddenly stops once more, again husband goes up to the horse and more sternly says
“That’s twice”
Off they go again, and a few miles later the lead horse stops again, husband gets out, walks in front of the horse, draws his pistol and shoots the lead horse stone dead,
As he approached the carriage his new bride commented “ that was a little extreme wasn’t it ?”
Husband looked up and sternly said ..
“That’s once !” …

PS, why do they call it a Honeymoon ?
Cause “period of awful realisation” was considered a little negative.

 

[BobG55]

 

[Redcarmoose]

 

[Redcarmoose]

 

[The Jester]

Old guy lying in bed,
His wife comes into the bedroom wearing a skimpy nightdress ..
“What else can I do to get you in the mood”
“Turn the light off” ..

 

[Trihexagonal]

Know what happens when the delivery guy says he's got your credit card pre-paid $11.40 bacon cheeseburger with provolone cheese, onions and mustard and you owe me $50?

Spoiler

You still owe me $40.

 

[Pharmaboy]

Know what happens when the delivery guy says he's got your credit card pre-paid $11.40 bacon cheeseburger with provolone cheese, onions and mustard and you owe me $50?

Spoiler

You still owe me $40.

I don't get the joke. But I'm sure it's my problem alone...

Still, I have to ask: where is "Land of the Dead"? That's a pretty amazing "Location."

 

[Ryokan]

Anyone else start singing Sailing by Christopher Cross when they saw that?

 

[Trihexagonal]

I don't get the joke. But I'm sure it's my problem alone...

I ate his burger. If you owe me $50 you can't afford $11.40 burgers.

 

[Ryokan]

Historians have discovered the resting stone for the worlds oldest man, he was 180 and named Miles from Macclesfield.