Corny Jokes - the more the merrier
Oct 1, 2017 at 7:48 AM Post #346 of 500

wink

His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
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Oct 6, 2017 at 5:05 AM Post #359 of 500

wink

His amps are made out of recycled beer cans
and his source from tomatos.
Joined
Apr 13, 2009
Posts
20,305
Likes
3,561
What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids


What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee?
A bah-humbug.


What do you call it when you feed a stick of dynamite to a steer?
Abominable!


What did 0 say to 8?
Nice belt!


Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?
BECAUSE IT'S POINTLESS!


Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock?
Because it's a little meteor.


What do calendars eat?
DATES!


What do cats eat for breakfast?
Mice Krispies!


Guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under arm. Says to the bartender: "I’ll take a beer, and one for the road."

What do you call a man with no arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?
Claude

What does a ghost wear when it's raining outside?
Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooots!


What washes up on tiny beaches?
MICROWAVES!


Have you heard the one about the Corduroy pillow?
It's making HEADLINES!


Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?
Both crews were marooned.


What do sharks say when something radical happens?
JAWESOME


What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car?
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks


What do you do when you see a spaceman?
PARK YOUR CAR, MAN


What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.


How does an octopus go to war?
WELL-ARMED

What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fssshh


What kind of guns do bees use?
BeeBee guns


What's the best way to carve wood?
Whittle by whittle.


Why did Cinderella get kicked off the softball team?
Because she ran away from the ball!


How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue!


How much does a pirate pay for corn?
A buccaneer!


What do you do with a sick boat?
TAKE IT TO THE DOC!


Who does a pharaoh talk to when he's sad?
His mummy.


How does the man in the moon cut his hair?
ECLIPSE IT!


Why didn't the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe!


What did the monkey say when he caught his tail in the revolving door?
It won't be long now


What did the big bucket say to the little bucket?
You look a little pail!


What was T-Rex's favorite number?
Ate!


Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
IT WAS IN TENTS


What is the definition of a good farmer?
A MAN OUTSTANDING IN HIS FIELD!


What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
PUMPKIN PI


Why don't blind people go skydiving?
Because it scares the seeing-eye dogs!

Why do milking stools only have three legs?
'Cause the cow's got the udder!


What did the cobbler say when a cat wandered into his shop?
Shoe!


A man didn't like his haircut, but it started to grow on him.

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?
Dam.


What type of music do mummies listen to?
WRAP MUSIC!


What kind of flower is on your face?
Tulips!


What game would you play with a wombat?
Wom.


What did the policeman say to his tummy?
I've got you under a vest!


What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything!






 

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