ServinginEcuador
Founder of the Head-Fi Pay-to-Post Program.
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2002
- Posts
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Here's a couple of new jokes I got in an email:
"When you discover that you are
riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."
However, in modern business, education and government, a
whole range of far more advanced strategies are often
employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride
dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be
included.
7. Reclassifying the dead horse as "living impaired."
8. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
9. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase the
speed.
10. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase
the dead horse's performance.
11. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would
improve the dead horse's performance.
12. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed,
it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore
contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the
economy than do some other horses.
13. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all
horses.
14. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
Enjoy the following quotes from Will Rogers:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither
works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and
put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to touch the electric fence.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that
comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back
every now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n
puttin' it back.
"When you discover that you are
riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount."
However, in modern business, education and government, a
whole range of far more advanced strategies are often
employed, such as:
1. Buying a stronger whip.
2. Changing riders.
3. Threatening the horse with termination.
4. Appointing a committee to study the horse.
5. Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride
dead horses.
6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be
included.
7. Reclassifying the dead horse as "living impaired."
8. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse.
9. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase the
speed.
10. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase
the dead horse's performance.
11. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would
improve the dead horse's performance.
12. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed,
it is less costly, carries lower overhead and therefore
contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the
economy than do some other horses.
13. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all
horses.
14. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position.
Enjoy the following quotes from Will Rogers:
1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are 2 theories to arguing with a woman...neither
works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and
put it back in your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men:
The ones that learn by reading.
The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to touch the electric fence.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that
comes from bad judgment.
10. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back
every now and then to make sure it's still there.
11. Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier'n
puttin' it back.
