Valentine's Day approacheth... what will ye do? - Page 5

on the other hand, one could argue that women tend to be much more consequent (? claiming nonnative speaker priviledge here). when feelings / situations change, men are a lot more likely to hang around just out of habit / convenience whereas women are much more likely to call it as it is and take action. call it ruthless, call it consequent.............

I awoke on impact under surveillance from the camera eye, searching high and low. The criminal mind found at the scene of the crime, handcuffed and blind--I didn't do it. She said she loved me. I guess I never knew. But do we ever, ever really know? She said she'd meet me on the other side, but I knew right then, I'd never find her.

Thanks. By the way, its srapps55, not scrapps55. The only time its scrapps55 is after a visit to the local White Castle.

it sounds like a lot of you need to run five miles and take a cold shower... it's not that big of a deal being single.

Am I the only one who likes being single?

No. At a conceptual level, it definitely has its advantages. However, most of the time, I'm not making that decision with my...erm...conceptualizer.

However, I do have to apologize for "starting something" on this thread -- I did not mean to derail it. Perhaps we should split it in two (if that's possible) -- VD and SAD?

It's been three years and two girlfriends since I've been single, but yeah, it does have it's advantages... I still prefer to have a warm and loving person to cuddle with though

I've been listening to Patricia Barber's "You Don't Know Me" while reading this thread... and there's so much that makes up someone, so much to fit into any category. I'm sure you all knew this already.

As a woman, I've had so many near-misses (and well, complete misses as well) at relationships. But one of the most important to me as a human is your identity with yourself. And this Chinese New Year, I just realize that I don't have a home at all. I don't belong here; I feel no basic connection with the land of my birth.

In other words, I've been dumped by me and about six million other people.

And I'm thinking, I can't even spend Valentine's with myself.

"Oh you'll never know the one who loves you so...no, you don't know me..." *sigh*


Then 'Alfie' comes on.
And I realize no matter what, I guess we all have our family with us. As far as dysfunction goes, there will always be someone to give you a hug at the end of the day (even if you have to bribe that eight-year-old someone with his very own mix CD). So in other words, being single does not do you in. Because being single does not necessarily mean being alone.

"And you'll find love anyday Alfie..."



...or just go get Patricia Barber's Nightclub.

No. I wouldn't want my life any other way but single. It's the only way to get the toys ya know.

I can sympathize a bit with PianoBlack. I feel as though we have had the same thing...near misses at relationships are often far far more trying then relationships that go awry. The whole sense of unlimited potential that never got a chance to develop. It can also be rough to feel like you have no home, but as she said, home is in people, not in places. One of the reasons I feel a little lonely is I am half a world away from anyone I really care about. Sure, I have plenty of friends here, but I don't have anyone I love -- not an old friend, lover, or family member. That is the only thing that makes being single a little difficult here. Being single is one thing when you are surrounded by your loved ones, but it is another thing when you are separated from them. Then you just start looking for someone to cuddle with and keep the other side of the bed warm...The danger is comprimising yourself in order to let that happen. I currently do my investigation here: The wonderful club BSB A place with good music and lots of intelligent (and hot) university students kicking back.
edit: I just realized those photos are from a weird band....normally it is just rock or jazz...that looks like some sort of folk thingy....

Stuartr, I agree with you and I think I'll take that advice to heart. College away from your usual pillars of morality and values tend to lead to many compromises. It's hard to realize that while some of college education can come from outside of class, there also comes a point where you DON'T have to learn them.

...where is this from? It sounds Sam Spadish, but I just don't know my noir.

<rant>

So I see this painting online that reminds me of her and I think "wow, that'd make a great gift" so I contact the artist to see if she keeps any of the originals. She said not normally but asked which one I was interested in. I told her and she finally wrote back with a price. I asked how soon she could ship, how I could get her payment and whether I could get it here by the coming Thursday.

This all took time. You see, unlike us geeks, who hurridly run to check every time a new message is posted, most artists (the old kind, paintbrush in hand) don't even check their email often.

So I say, "Hey, would you be upset if you didn't get a gift until a couple days later?" This, apparently, was enough to set her off saying she didn't want me to take her for granted, just treat it like another day, never think about her, etc. etc.

She finally appologized when I said, "Look if all you want is generic ******** like flowers and dinner, I can do that pretty easily in short notice. I was trying to do something nicer and was worried you might rather get something special on that day than have to wait until next weekend." But you know, it was really too late for me. Already something that was supposed to be a gift, something that came from my own free will, my own paycheck, my own thoughts and expressions... had been warped into just another ****ing obligation.

And I don't think I'm special or unique in this way. I just find it amusing that women are so much more content with obligatory gifts than they are with an iota of sincerity. I ordered flowers. I made reservations for lunch at a nice restaurant. When the artist finally replied with the notion that she could bill me and ship fedex if I replied soon, I emailed her back and said that I'd already made other plans and would be interested in the painting if she still had it in April (birthday coming in May).

So... yes, I do agree that single people should celebrate being single on Valentines Day. If the name were not taken, you could call it Thanksgiving.

</rant>