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This is disturbing! - Page 5

post #61 of 209
LOL, Vampire Yeti... Big Foot... Sasquatch... more LOL. Man, I wish there are more web logs like that. It's the funny!!!

... hey, what the hell, she stopped on the 26th. Go down stairs and tell that lady to continue the log damn it. Could I get her number also?

And the galloping horses music from 8:56-9:29PM.

Damn, I didn't know they allow horses in apts. now. Practicing for the Kentucky Derby are we?
post #62 of 209
Geez man, she is definitely a nutter. However, her blog was highly entertaining. As was the site linked, Lower the Boom!. Makes a bunch of wild claims about why 'boom cars' are bad for you. Last I checked, one has to get into infrasonic (below 20Hz, with 7Hz being the most deadly) and insane volume levels to cause phsyical damage like these people are claiming. Most speakers, or even subwoofers can't reproduce 7Hz.

Oh, and if you want real fun... check out the forum. This quote in particular has me in tears:

Quote:
I have heard a lot of the "music" that most people who use boom systems play, and it is usually angry, hateful, misogynistic and generally obscene. When I hear/feel the booms, I feel like that hateful violent obscenity is being constantly thrown at my body and being pounded into every cell of it. I feel like I am being violently and hatefully acoustically raped. Like the person driving the vehicle (or playing the stationary stereo system) would prefer to come and rape and beat me (and everyone they are passing by) physically, but they know they can't get away with that. So instead they use their car or their home/portable stereo system as the weapon. Plus if they are in a car they get to accost and rape so many in such a short time just by driving through any neighborhood!
'I feel like I am being violenty and hatefully acoustically raped.' Man, that's good enough for a sig.

(-:Stephonovich:-)
post #63 of 209
I feel very sorry for that woman. She's obviously so stressed out it's unhealthy. That webside is prove that she's desperate.
I'm not saying that this is your fault, Ozric. Just that this is a real problem for her, probably initiated by the noises she hears from you, but she made it into a nervous breakdown kind of problem for herself.

When you do have that meeting with her, try to make some agreement about what time you can play your music. This way she knows a bit more what to expect and hopefully she will calm down a bit and make peace with the fact that she doesn't live on her own in the apartment building.
Showing some goodwill might help. Makes you look human again in her eyes instead of the evil Yety beast whose goal in life is to make her life hell.

I'd ask someone else (a third party) to advise her to sleep with earplugs. That way she can go to sleep without having to worry she'll wake up from the noise.
The reason I say a third party is because it coming from you will sound to her like you admit fault and want an easy way out so you can make all the noise you want. She will resist the idea before even giving it a second thought.

I hope this situation will get better for both of you. And I hope your neighbour will remove the website soon.

-edit-
Just read some more of her noise diary. How can she blame you for walking around? I stand with what I said about the goodwill. But if it will help...
Still, try to be as understanding as you possibly can.
post #64 of 209
In thinking, let's give her the benefit of the doubt, and that yes, she can hear noises, and that it's bugging her. I suspect my little brother has obsessive compulsive disorder. He can hear noises insanely well. At night, he's told me to stop moving (we share a bunk bed) because he says it bugs him. Turns out, it's making extremely quiet noises. Yet he hears them. He also runs around closing all our windows and blinds in the middle of the summer (with no A/C, mind you) because he said it bothers him. To a normal person, these things aren't an issue. They don't bother them; they simply become yet another something in the background.

So perhaps this woman's hearing is magnified to the point that she hears 'galloping horses'. I still don't think it's a valid reason to post a libelous rant like that, but perhaps, as Pinkie suggested, there is another side to the story.



(-:Stephonovich:-)
post #65 of 209
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa
I feel very sorry for that woman. She's obviously so stressed out it's unhealthy. That webside is prove that she's desperate.
I'm not saying that this is your fault, Ozric. Just that this is a real problem for her, probably initiated by the noises she hears from you, but she made it into a nervous breakdown kind of problem for herself.

When you do have that meeting with her, try to make some agreement about what time you can play your music. This way she knows a bit more what to expect and hopefully she will calm down a bit and make peace with the fact that she doesn't live on her own in the apartment building.
Showing some goodwill might help. Makes you look human again in her eyes instead of the evil Yety beast whose goal in life is to make her life hell.

I'd ask someone else (a third party) to advise her to sleep with earplugs. That way she can go to sleep without having to worry she'll wake up from the noise.
The reason I say a third party is because it coming from you will sound to her like you admit fault and want an easy way out so you can make all the noise you want. She will resist the idea before even giving it a second thought.

I hope this situation will get better for both of you. And I hope your neighbour will remove the website soon.

-edit-
Just read some more of her noise diary. How can she blame you for walking around? I stand with what I said about the goodwill. But if it will help...
Still, try to be as understanding as you possibly can.
Thanks. I do agree she has a borderline personality disorder, medically speaking. You know, the only time we met, I had suggested to her that she try earplugs if sounds bothered her so much. She refused, saying she has a medical condition that makes it not possible to do so. When I said that I was a doctor, and was curious to know what this condition was, she didn't have a response. That's how she knows I'm in the field of Medicine (I'm not a med student, but a non-practising physician getting a second degree). Anyway, I shall see what happens in the next few days. I'm a considerate person, even by others' accounts.
post #66 of 209
My wife found it particularly amusing that this was being discussed on a headphone site Me too, actually
post #67 of 209
YIKES!! This is a bit over the top, for sure!!

My wife and I had a similar experience with an older couple who had lived in a house for 20+ years. They were constantly complaining about our walking, as if we were supposed to fly around the apartment.

I would have some sympathy for this woman if it was MUSIC that she complained about, but in this instance it's clearly not...she has no reasonable beef with you about your walking around. If she doesn't like it, she can move.

BTW - what's the deal with this woman thinking that 7:30AM is the middle of the night??

I don't know what your remedy is for the website, but I should think that the posting of your personal information in such a slanderous way is grounds for some kind of action. Tread lightly, however...this woman sounds like she has a screw loose.

Oh...no pun intended, BTW...LOL.

I'd have a long talk with the manager...WITHOUT her there. Express your concern about the website in a way that suggests culpability on the part of the management for permitting it to go unpunished. I don't know the law on this matter, but it stands to reason that if a cranky resident of a complex posted slanderous info about another resident, say, on the cranky resident's car in the parking lot, that management would have recourse. I'm not sure that this is any different in that regard.

Good luck....UGH!!
post #68 of 209
10 years ago I was living in a company apartment and my wife almost gone crazy with the footstep sounding from upstairs. It was tiny stomping made by 3 year old kid of upstairs family, but we didn't have kids so we were living quietly, and you never know when it starts and when it ends (from early morning to midnight). I also was annoyed but it was worse to my wife as she stayed home all day. She tried to stay out but you can't be out 24 hours.
But what most irritated her was the reaction from that neighbor. "Oh was it so loud? It's only a child...." and "Well, I did what I could but I can't help you any more...." but there were no significant change for months.
At some point, with the fear of my wife going to have nervous breakdown, we moved, to the top floor of some other apartment.

This story tells you that what you think normal and entitled to do is not always welcomed by your neighbor. If you think you are 100% right and the neighbor is psycho, that's arrogant.

Your solution? My wife told me that if the sound was made by someone she knows, like friends or family, she wouldn't care. Maybe it works, maybe not.
post #69 of 209
And I still maintain that it would be the kind thing to do to learn how to not walk flat-footed. IMO, in an apartment building it's just plain rude to not learn this skill.

And be mindful when you're using speakers, and you never did let us know what those two warnings were that she alleges you got. I'm not attacking here, but it's better that you can both learn how to occupy the same space, rather than take legal action. Aren't doctors supposed to have empathy?

Yes, it was wrong of her post that online, but it's wrong of you to not compromise.

And yes, she sounds desperate and at the end of her line. I can sort-of relate because they were doing construction in the building adjoining ours, and using a cement drill right against our wall all day long. You literally couldn't here anything but that. And the idiots managed to cause the sheetrock to crack in our apartment. We were renting, so not our problem.... and what they were doing was entirely legal, so we were just screwed. So I know how she feels, sleep deprevation and noise torture can cause her to be overhyper, like her blog entirely suggests.

Come on, use some of those empathy skills!
post #70 of 209
Look, empathy is one thing, but the downstairs neighbor needs to be a bit reasonable too. Take the post about the 3 year old kid for example. While it surely was annoying, what exactly is the upstairs neighbor to do with his MAYBE 40 pound 3-year old child? Teach him to fly? Put him in a cage?

This is the risk that folks take when they move into an apartment with an upstairs neighbor. It's not unreasonable to expect that parties, loud music, and other such BS is not an issue...I've had neighbors like this before, and it sucks. That said, what is one to say to the upstairs neighbor with the 3-year old? The problem there is with the management company and/or builder. Aside from TRYING to walk more lightly, it's simply not reasonable to expect NO noise from walking.

As this is clearly the biggest complaint from the downstairs neighbor in this instance, it strikes me as pretty unreasonable to do what she did with the website. Of course we should all strive to be good neighbors...but it's a two way street, and the woman downstairs is not holding up her end of the bargain.
post #71 of 209
Quote:
Originally Posted by plainsong
And I still maintain that it would be the kind thing to do to learn how to not walk flat-footed. IMO, in an apartment building it's just plain rude to not learn this skill.

And be mindful when you're using speakers, and you never did let us know what those two warnings were that she alleges you got. I'm not attacking here, but it's better that you can both learn how to occupy the same space, rather than take legal action. Aren't doctors supposed to have empathy?

Yes, it was wrong of her post that online, but it's wrong of you to not compromise.

And yes, she sounds desperate and at the end of her line. I can sort-of relate because they were doing construction in the building adjoining ours, and using a cement drill right against our wall all day long. You literally couldn't here anything but that. And the idiots managed to cause the sheetrock to crack in our apartment. We were renting, so not our problem.... and what they were doing was entirely legal, so we were just screwed. So I know how she feels, sleep deprevation and noise torture can cause her to be overhyper, like her blog entirely suggests.

Come on, use some of those empathy skills!
can you really compare his walking to a cement drill?!?
post #72 of 209
No, of course not, cement drill would top anyone's clumping around.

I'm not saying that Ozric is entirely wrong and the woman entirely right. Of course not. I'm just saying that they both need to work out how to live so close to each other. Compromise. It beats legal fees.

ps - if she thinks she's hearing him at 3am, then is it possible that she's hearing to the side or above Ozric's place? She's sort of hyper-sensitive at this point, so I hope that a rational discussion can still be had.
post #73 of 209
rational... hmmm.... "speak quietly, and carry a big stick!"

jk... you're right in that it's always good to try to compromise, but that can be very difficult with someone who is no longer rational in their expectations. She seems to have adjitated herself into hypersensitivity. It's unlikely there is any remedy for her but to move. I still stand behind my comment that someone who is sensitive to noise and has special requirements for a quiet living environment has no right living in an apartment with someone above them. It's just not an intellegent decision. The thing is, you can never know ahead of time who your next neighbor will be or when you will have a new neighbor, but you can know yourself and your needs. If she had been proactive from the start and thought about what her needs were in terms of a quiet environment she wouldn't need to put unnecessary demands on the building management and the upstairs neighbor. Vikram mentioned that she went so far as to ask management to find someone quiet when the last tenant above her moved out. This has obviously been an on going issue for her and she has reached her wits end. You cannot, however, blame Vikram for her poor decisions. Sure he can try to walk softer, but like I've mentioned, his floor creaks whether you like it or not. Unless he learns to levitate, this woman is not going to be happy. The thing is, if you read carefully, she also blames Vikram for all movements she can hear, yet he has a roomate. Can she see through the walls? how does she know when it's Vikram and not his roomate? This woman clearly has some issues, but I think she needs to take it upon herself to bring a remedy.
post #74 of 209
Thread Starter 
Hi all,
Wow, it's morning, and my saga continues to inspire debate Well, I was specifically advised not to have the woman present with me in the same room without a mediator. And the manager doesn't do a very good job of that, so I will be asking someone from our school's legal services if he/she can be present. I am printing out the contents of the webpage, and also documenting when I was and was not home for the next few days, because there are false accusations in her account too.

plainsong: We've had one face-to-face meeting, at her apartment, in presence of our manager. During that encounter, she mentioned nothing about footsteps or stomping. It was only about my music volume. I had no idea she had a problem until I read her crap. After that meeting, I received only one warning letter from properties management regarding "complaints of noise received".
post #75 of 209
There are other things to consider here as well... Let's say she gets her way, and Vikram moves out. Let's also consider the fact that more than 50% of the population is over weight. If the next tenant above her is 300Lbs will she be calling them an elephant?!? What if they also because of their weight have knee problems and walk with a limp? As I was saying before, she cannot control who her neighbor will be so the only reasonable solution is for her to move and this time plan for a quiet environment.

Also, if Vikram is on the 3rd floor, she must be on the 2nd. I would bet money the tenant below her can hear her walking around.
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