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"Laptops We've known and loved (hated)" thread

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Hutnicks View Post

I was wondering when you were going to surface herebiggrin.gif Perhaps we should have a "Laptops We've known and loved (hated)" thread. I have some great stories about Grids after the Tandy buyout and a Compaq Armada that went from the rear shelf through the front window of an Eagle Talon in a 40 car pile up and still functioned perfectly despite the newly contoured case and keyboard.



I'll start.


She was a beaut, a real fine specimen. We cherished each and every moment together. She wasn't judgmental. When I searched up other women, she played right along with it. Always keeping a blind eye.


She was connected, unlike other women out there. She always seemed to know what was going on at any given time. Smart, on the ball (unless you shook the cursor a bit), well-spoken once you installed the language pack.


Me and her, we went to other worlds, without ever leaving the house. We watched mountaintop sunsets right in the living room. We played beach volleyball right in the library. We sung Enka without every having to learn a lick of Japanese.


Until one day. We had been walking along the sidewalk, hand in hand. I slipped, and she fell in the gutter. It took a long wash and some vigorous rehabilitation, but she managed to recuperate. Or so it had seemed at first.


She began to grow stale. It took her longer and longer to start up during the mornings. She was clingy to the touch. She grew more temperamental by the day. It was enough to drive one to do crazy things. Some days she wouldn't even get up at all.


And so, with a heavy heart, I pulled the plug. 


Rest in piece, my dear Thinkpad T30.

post #2 of 11

Dear Asus 1101HAB,


This has been a long time coming, but here it is. From the moment I spotted you in the shop back in 2009 and picked you over the smaller model next to you, you've been nothing but trouble. I was so nice to you. I believe that big netbooks, just like big girls, need some lovin' too, and I was willing to do anything and everything to make our relationship work.


On paper it should have been wonderful. You have a screen with the same resolution as the laptop I'm typing on now, but you're so much smaller. You have a processor which, when overclocked, is actually faster than the N270 that was so popular when I bought you. You have decent battery life and weigh only a little over three pounds. Big for a netbook, but still light.


I was attentive. I noticed that you have a nice rubberized texture on your cover, when few others would have cared. I even noticed the lovely way your black plastic case actually has thousands of little blue sparkles embedded in it, when nobody else would have looked so closely.


Alas, the moment I got you home and tried to install Ubuntu on you it was a disaster. Apparently, your GMA500 graphics don't like Ubuntu much. Apparently it's some baggage you're still carrying from somebody called Imagination Technologies that you can't let go of. You know, I've had bad experiences before, too. Two words: Windows ME. Yeah, I could have been all grumpy about that, but I wasn't. I was willing to put all that behind me and try to make it work.


But that's your problem. You didn't work. Ever. I tried to watch YouTube videos on you, and your performance got progressively worse until I couldn't even watch 320p smoothly anymore. I tried to install Windows 7 on you, and though you started out acceptably fast, at the end you slowed to an almost catatonic state. Loading webpages took forever and a day. Loading Explorer took forever and a day.


I'd finally had it with you when I swiped your Windows 7 license and gave it to my old laptop. You know, the one I bought in 2006 and which is still faster than you. Her screen is knackered, half the plastic bits on her outside are breaking, her touchpad buttons are worn, and her power jack's connection is intermittent. But you know what? We still get along.


We're not together or anything. As you know, I went back to my darling Heather Penelope (H.P.) for most of my daily work after you let me down. I've upgraded her memory to the max, put an SSD in her, and even replaced her screen when I carelessly broke it. I've invested a lot in her, and she gives me tons back. She's a really big girl compared to you, and she's put on weight ever since I gave her a 12-cell battery, but she gives me everything I need.


My old laptop and I are just friends. But she's a great friend. Whenever I need her she's there. She's getting on a bit in years, and sometimes when I wake her from standby it takes a while before I can move her mouse cursor. But she's reliable. She's not ever going to come between me and my precious H.P., but that's not what I'm looking for in a friend, anyway.


So, basically what I'm trying to say, 1101HAB, is that you've failed me as a companion in every respect. Not only were you a horrible girlfriend, but you're a jealous homewrecker. Every time I see you you call out to me, beckon me over, get me to lift your top. And every single time I'm reminded why we never worked out. So it's over. I might have still left you plugged in to charge, but that's just because I'm too lazy to find your wall wart to pull it out of the power strip. When the time comes, I'm yanking you. You're buried under a pile of crap on my floor, and that's where you're going to stay from now on. I don't want to look at you. I don't want to check my e-mail on you. I'm done with your crap. Everything about you was a lie. I never got to do the things I wanted with you, and when I was with you I wanted to pull out my own hair.


So this is goodbye, 1101HAB. I'm pulling the plug.




post #3 of 11

I miss the 15.4" (1280 x 800) laptops.  I hate the 15.6" laptops which are dominating the market currently (1366 x 768 or 1920 x 1080), as I find them much worse and too short for viewing DSLR photographs, reading Word files, and website-reading.  


Even though I have bought many 15.6" laptops that are spec'd with faster processors, RAM, etc, I still keep around an old Dell 1525 laptop for its 15.4" screen, which for some reason also has better picture quality than more recent 15.6" LCD screens I have, i.e. Asus U52F.  To run photoshop better, I just bought an additional 2 GB RAM for 1525 off ebay.   

post #4 of 11
Thread Starter 

No no no! You're supposed to post a overzealously overdramatic story...


The T500 was built and had 15.4". Now that was a lappie you could live with...


The Arg seems to have taken the crown in terms of most heartbreaking story. Any challengers to the throne?

post #5 of 11
Originally Posted by TwinQY View Post

No no no! You're supposed to post a overzealously overdramatic story...


The T500 was built and had 15.4". Now that was a lappie you could live with...


The Arg seems to have taken the crown in terms of most heartbreaking story. Any challengers to the throne?


I'm going to write one about my nameless love. Probably tomorrow.

post #6 of 11
Thread Starter 

I expect nothing less than >5000 words of pure unabashedly unadulterated adulterous prose.

post #7 of 11

It's too late in aus for me to be waxing lyrical(perhaps another day) so I shall present the tldr; version:

I love the metal casing on my hp Dv6100, it converted what would have been a massive catastrophe to a plastic laptop into minor cosmetic damage the last 2 times I dropped it. I still need to replace the screen though; paraffin filled scratch is starting to bother me after many months, maybe I just need to rub more in. Loving this laptop

post #8 of 11

Electric Ladyland


I loved you once, the way you were.


You were a plain Mac Book on the outside and I filled you with my first love- you ripped the music to ALAC as I shoved CD after CD into your greedy slot over and over again. You took the sweet and romantic songs happily, pretended to love the Jazz and didn't even complain about my bringing in Mr. Bungle or those insane clowns in for the Kinks stuff... Spitting them out when you were done but keeping flawless memories of them which you would perfectly recount for me at my will.


After a while... things changed.


You started to complain you had enough. You were full. Sure, the old memories were there, but you didn't want anything new. You couldn't take me putting anything else in you. Play ground closed... I started thinking of others. You know, the Pro's who could take more action. Were perhaps better equipped for fulfilling my seemingly insatiable desires for more, more, more... I did look. I did touch. I did secretly covet... But I felt our relationship was worth my trying to save it.


While you slept, I slowly and gently unscrewed you from behind. The first time in all our years together I had ever tried. Deep inside you- I couldn't believe what I found. Inside you were a Pro. I then knew what to do next- I gave you the Big, Solid, Hard Drive you secretly needed and RAMed a few Big Chips into your hidden slots....


Now you want more- more than I have. More than I can give you now but I will keep trying to get more of what we both want over the years we now still have together.


You still wear the clean white dress of a Mac Book, but we both know you are a Mac Book Pro underneath. A white saint on the desk, a music whore deep inside... Perfect.

post #9 of 11
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by Dr4Bob View Post

I shoved CD after CD into your greedy slot over and over again. 

Sick, but strangely arousing.


Keep them coming...

post #10 of 11

I'm currently lusting after a colorful lady named Lenovo Yoga Pro 2. She comes in an eye-catching shade of orange. In my besotted mind I imagine myself calling her Tangerine Dream, because I have no imagination whatsoever.


In any event, she's svelte and flexible, unlike the typical sort I like, which are usually on the plus-sized side. It'll be a change for sure, but then, the big ones always seem to have confidence issues. I wish they would just realize that to me they're beautiful, but I guess what I think isn't the only thing that matters, especially if they don't like what they see on their screens when they turn their webcams on in front of the mirror.


Anyway, on the remote chance I actually score with this beautiful creature, this would be the first time I've tried a computer that wasn't some form of black or gray. Color doesn't matter to me. If her personality is nice, and she's fun to be with and gives me everything I need, I'll fall in love with her regardless of trivial things like color or brand.

post #11 of 11
Thread Starter 

I've heard that she sleeps around....


I personally enjoy a nice shade of lime on my beloved...Though the old tried-and-true black T440 is tempting...


Still pretty arousing story (not the love part that is). 


Keep them coming...

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