GoSUV, the cable doesn't have to be a hindrance at all. If you've ever curved the brim of a baseball cap, you know that you have to (first) bend it farther than your desired position and hold it for a while in order to get it to stay curved. The same is true for the memory portion of the 846 cable (not only in how it curves around your ear but how close [or far] you want the cable to sit from your head). So again, that is bending it curved and side-to-side.
On the tips, it sounds like you should try the triple-flanges (they are my favorite tip). Here again, you are not bound to any rules of norm. If you don't like the way the first flange fits, cut it off and only use the last two flanges. If that is not an issue, but you think the whole thing extends too long, cut off the stem. You could actually use a cut triple-flange stem as a nozzle adapter to try tips from other earphones that have larger nozzles.
And, I agree with you. It does not have to be flush and tucked into the ear. You can wear it out. I do that myself when I'm in the truck and wearing my earphone comfortably for 8 to 10 hours straight every workday. I only (vainly) tuck it in when I'm going to be seen. I think wearing them out and the extra extension of the triple-flange tips help slightly increase the soundstage projection. Of course, I have narrow ear canals and can get a good seal with the first flange. In fact, I have to lube the first flange to get it in deep.