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worst date stories - Page 61

post #901 of 1406
Do you know if she is going through something tough in life? Maybe stress? Etc. I would recommend talking to her not about cutting, but just about things that may have caused it. Be supportive, yet gentle. And give your story to her first -- tell her how you got into cutting, why it happened, whether you had people to listen to, etc. Build greater depth in that friendship if it isn't already there. You'll make her stop cutting by providing a solution to her besides cutting -- but to outright tell her to stop is tough. You should always think about consequences for the future, but our emotions behave most strongly in the present, which is why talking about now is more important than talking about the future.
post #902 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusho View Post

Do you know if she is going through something tough in life? Maybe stress? Etc. I would recommend talking to her not about cutting, but just about things that may have caused it. Be supportive, yet gentle. And give your story to her first -- tell her how you got into cutting, why it happened, whether you had people to listen to, etc. Build greater depth in that friendship if it isn't already there. You'll make her stop cutting by providing a solution to her besides cutting -- but to outright tell her to stop is tough. You should always think about consequences for the future, but our emotions behave most strongly in the present, which is why talking about now is more important than talking about the future.

Excellent advise... And THEN SPANK 'ER ?

post #903 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hi-Finthen View Post

Excellent advise... And THEN SPANK 'ER ?

Yea ...spank her :/ lolz.
post #904 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusho View Post


Yea ...spank her :/ lolz.

lol, j/k

 

- But I do wonder if  contact sport training , boxing or heavy bag kick boxing might be useful , something physical ...

 

At a time when 16 U.S. war veterans are committing suicide every day, otherwise healthy young folks should not be purposely hurting themselves .

 

Take up a cause like raising funds door to door for the relief for victims of nature, the Philippians , for instance ...  

post #905 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hi-Finthen View Post

lol, j/k

- But I do wonder if  contact sport training , boxing or heavy bag kick boxing might be useful , something physical ...

At a time when 16 U.S. war veterans are committing suicide every day, otherwise healthy young folks should not be purposely hurting themselves .

Take up a cause like raising funds door to door for the relief for victims of nature, the Philippians , for instance ...  
Cutting oneself is more complicated then that. But you are right - we have so much to appreciate, which we just look over and fail to observe.
post #906 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusho View Post

Do you know if she is going through something tough in life? Maybe stress? Etc. I would recommend talking to her not about cutting, but just about things that may have caused it. Be supportive, yet gentle. And give your story to her first -- tell her how you got into cutting, why it happened, whether you had people to listen to, etc. Build greater depth in that friendship if it isn't already there. You'll make her stop cutting by providing a solution to her besides cutting -- but to outright tell her to stop is tough. You should always think about consequences for the future, but our emotions behave most strongly in the present, which is why talking about now is more important than talking about the future.
Yeah I know, she's stressed out about a whole bunch of stuff, and at worst has only nicked her finger, so she hasn't really felt the more addictive side of it, just the, oh, my finger kinds hurts side. I just want her to stop before it gets deeper, and scars worse, and goes into the muscle and hurts to walk and etc. And yes, it is REALLY hard to quit, I know that for sure. I just kinda want to get her to stop before it becomes addicting, where she needs to cut to take up to me, or where she gets scarred for life and struggles to quit when she realizes she needs to.
post #907 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by gopanthersgo1 View Post

Yeah I know, she's stressed out about a whole bunch of stuff, and at worst has only nicked her finger, so she hasn't really felt the more addictive side of it, just the, oh, my finger kinds hurts side. I just want her to stop before it gets deeper, and scars worse, and goes into the muscle and hurts to walk and etc. And yes, it is REALLY hard to quit, I know that for sure. I just kinda want to get her to stop before it becomes addicting, where she needs to cut to take up to me, or where she gets scarred for life and struggles to quit when she realizes she needs to.

At least she has a friend who has gone through a similar experience. I'm sure talking with you would be great for your friendship abd for her well being. She's lucky to have a friend who cares like you. Btw, do you have feelings for this girl? Hope I'm not pressing any buttons.
post #908 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusho View Post

At least she has a friend who has gone through a similar experience. I'm sure talking with you would be great for your friendship abd for her well being. She's lucky to have a friend who cares like you. Btw, do you have feelings for this girl? Hope I'm not pressing any buttons.
I think so, it's really complicated though... I mean we used to be close close, and then kinda grow apart, then become close again, etc... But she is the person who convinced me to stop drinking and to carry on with a lot of stuff, and just be their for me. I've done the same for her a lot, even helping her from when she was about to kill herself, horrible summer all that made to be honest. But besides a lot of the darker stuff and depression and such, whenever we're around each other, and one of us isn't feeling just miserable, we have tons of fun and just run around and be ourselves mostly. I honestly think she's one of the greatest people alive, along with a few of my closest friends, and I really love all of them. (also, we've had some relationships, but they never really turned out to be much)

And now for a bad date story (I may have said this one already)
So she came over and was exhausted (she's also my sisters friend so she comes over for says at a time sometimes) after being over for 3 or 4 days. So we just decided to watch a movie, and we kinda cuttled and stuff, but after watching Austin Powers, (good decision) we decided to watch 2001, a Space Odyssey. It's a pretty boring movie for the beginning at least, so she feel asleep, and I just kinda watched the movie and held her and stuff, but I never really got into it. But the worst part is that we had the speakers on about 75% as its a quiet movie, but every time that motherf#cking monolith popped up, it made a sound like a FRICKING FIRE ALARM, and would wake her up. Eventually we just decided to turn off the movie and just hang out in my room and talk and such, but that movie woke her up maybe 3 or 4 times.

Since then I have never finished the movie.
Edited by gopanthersgo1 - 11/19/13 at 10:33pm
post #909 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by gopanthersgo1 View Post

I think so, it's really complicated though... I mean we used to be close close, and then kinda grow apart, then become close again, etc... But she is the person who convinced me to stop drinking and to carry on with a lot of stuff, and just be their for me. I've done the same for her a lot, even helping her from when she was about to kill herself, horrible summer all that made to be honest. But besides a lot of the darker stuff and depression and such, whenever we're around each other, and one of us isn't feeling just miserable, we have tons of fun and just run around and be ourselves mostly. I honestly think she's one of the greatest people alive, along with a few of my closest friends, and I really love all of them. (also, we've had some relationships, but they never really turned out to be much)
Wow ....that sounds like a beautiful relationship you have, whatever the status of it. Really I read these stories and then I look at my life, and just realize how closed off I am. How much I'm missing from my life. And although it's not very painful, it's not very satisfying either. But what I have learned is that events that started out as painful slowly became my most prized experiences -- they taught me, sculpted me, helped me understand others, and really appreciate the good things in my life. The chance to find beauty in sadness is the chance to understand and appreciate the world to it's core --- and the more I think about it, the more I feel like I am on the periphery frown.gif.
Well besides that, I hope you figure out how to help your friend. You've done it before, and Im sure youll do it again! Plus, this is just piecemeal, considering you saved her from suicide!
post #910 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusho View Post

Wow ....that sounds like a beautiful relationship you have, whatever the status of it. Really I read these stories and then I look at my life, and just realize how closed off I am. How much I'm missing from my life. And although it's not very painful, it's not very satisfying either. But what I have learned is that events that started out as painful slowly became my most prized experiences -- they taught me, sculpted me, helped me understand others, and really appreciate the good things in my life. The chance to find beauty in sadness is the chance to understand and appreciate the world to it's core --- and the more I think about it, the more I feel like I am on the periphery frown.gif.
Well besides that, I hope you figure out how to help your friend. You've done it before, and Im sure youll do it again! Plus, this is just piecemeal, considering you saved her from suicide!
Yeah but it's really gone to Schiit lately, at times she won't want to talk to me for weeks and others she'll just talk to me about anything... She was kinda ticked about me telling her not to get into cutting, but she really doesn't understand how bad it can be. I totally see your point of view, I'm really, really lucky to have her in my life, and besides her, I only have 1 or 2 really good friends that I know in real life, one of which who is leaving next year, as he is a senior, so I've been pretty emotional and kinda depressed lately, knowing that he's moving off for college and that she's starting to cut herself and she hates herself again pretty much. frown.gif she doesn't think she fits in at all here, and to be perfectly honest, me, her, and my other good friends really don't, but I guess I just try to ignore it and spend time with the people that I really love and want to spend time with. But I pretty much said no matter what I loved her, (not so much as the lovey dovey thing just the, "you're a really, really dang amazing person, and you're the type of person why I can see good in life", and that no matter what, me and my friends would be there for her.
post #911 of 1406
Thread Starter 

Good idea/bad idea: replace the cutting with sex. No seriously, it can be therapeutic, and a pleasant distraction until other things get sorted out, and sometimes people just need to get laid and life will sort itself out. Sometimes being open about something like sexuality blows open the door to other things as well. Discuss, lean about intimacy, learn about yourselves in the process.

 

But like all things though, there's the potential for complication. Lots of it.

post #912 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Armaegis View Post

Good idea/bad idea: replace the cutting with sex. No seriously, it can be therapeutic, and a pleasant distraction until other things get sorted out, and sometimes people just need to get laid and life will sort itself out. Sometimes being open about something like sexuality blows open the door to other things as well. Discuss, lean about intimacy, learn about yourselves in the process.

But like all things though, there's the potential for complication. Lots of it.
Well, neither of us are really ready for it, and lately we have kinda been a little distant and such, not to mention we're both virgins and it's embarrassing and awkward as heck, not to mention I'm 15 and she's 13. (she is really mature for her age, though) :/ I don't know, it's never been a sexual relationship at all. I just think it kinda needs some time and for life to happen, but her mom doesn't really like me taking her to dates and such, maybe in a year or 2, but then there's the thing about me going off to college in 3 years and I just can't see how a relationship could really last. frown.gif
post #913 of 1406
Thread Starter 

Oh! yeah, totally ignore what I said. For some reason I was thinking you were both college age already. Totally different story.

 

Eff it, I coped with my teenage depression with junk food and really bad poetry. Granted, that also led to an eating disorder in my early 20's (the bad eating, not the poetry). Took me a year to drag myself out of that hole.

 

These days, my therapy is dance.

post #914 of 1406

My therapy was Quadrophenia. As long as you don't misinterpret the ending of the album (no, he doesn't kill himself; he throws the scooter off the cliff, like the album art suggests), I think it's one of those albums all teenage guys should listen to. Peer pressure, parental issues, not fitting in, getting into bad habits, the girl you'd do anything for--it's all in there, along with the consequences of letting that stuff take you over. Basically, the album shows you that, in about five or six years, none of this stuff will matter. Life, and people, move on. And, as bad as things might seem, at any point you can still choose to do the same. The key word is choose.

 

Or, if nothing else, you can do like many people who are having a bad week have done and just blare Love, Rein O'er Me so loud it basically shoves everything else out of your head. That might make you feel better for a little while. Always did me.

 

It's funny, though. Now that I'm college age and have been through all that crap and came out mostly unscathed, while I won't say the album isn't any less a masterpiece, I feel like I don't listen to it nearly as much anymore. I find myself relating to stuff like Jethro Tull's Thick as a Brick much more from a thematic standpoint.

post #915 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Argyris View Post
 

My therapy was Quadrophenia. As long as you don't misinterpret the ending of the album (no, he doesn't kill himself; he throws the scooter off the cliff, like the album art suggests), I think it's one of those albums all teenage guys should listen to. Peer pressure, parental issues, not fitting in, getting into bad habits, the girl you'd do anything for--it's all in there, along with the consequences of letting that stuff take you over. Basically, the album shows you that, in about five or six years, none of this stuff will matter. Life, and people, move on. And, as bad as things might seem, at any point you can still choose to do the same. The key word is choose.

 

Or, if nothing else, you can do like many people who are having a bad week have done and just blare Love, Rein O'er Me so loud it basically shoves everything else out of your head. That might make you feel better for a little while. Always did me.

 

It's funny, though. Now that I'm college age and have been through all that crap and came out mostly unscathed, while I won't say the album isn't any less a masterpiece, I feel like I don't listen to it nearly as much anymore. I find myself relating to stuff like Jethro Tull's Thick as a Brick much more from a thematic standpoint.

Worry not, the scars are more like emotional bruises, the deeper they are the longer it takes to come to the surface. You have years to go:D

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