Ok, with all the bad dating experiences that have ruined lives, I figured I'd share one (possibly THE one) that changed my life for the better.
In my last year of HS back home in Jamaica, I met this girl who returned from the States to finish school in Jamaica. Her mother was Puerto Rican, and her father Jamaican, so I don't think I need to mention how stunning this girl was.
Over the course of the first semester, we slowly started hanging out because we got recruited into the school's runway fashion show. We got really close, I started developing feelings for her, and she seemed to be heading down that road too. We'd laugh all the time, and have these deep conversations about the most random things. Eventually, I think I fell in love with her. To make things worse, she had bad childhood experiences with her family, which made me feel an even stronger urge to want to be her knight in shining armor.
Everything was going well, until one day it just...stopped. She stopped wanting to be around me, hours would pass by before she'd reply to my texts. Basically the floor fell from underneath me. On top of that, she began to have the same kind of relationship she had with me with one of my friends. Sometimes I'd try to dance with her, but she'd so effortlessly blow me off, saying things like "I'd rather just watch how you move", or a simple, smiling "No."
I fell into near depression. My friends patted me on the back and told me to chin up, but I couldn't. Eventually I couldn't take the pain anymore and confronted her with near teary eyes to ask her the question I'd been pondering on for weeks..."why?" She told me this one sentence I'll never forget. she said "I can't love you if you don't love yourself."
She expanded by telling me that I had been too needy, and it seemed like I depended on her for my happiness. She could also tell that I was somewhat insecure when I was around her, and I was because she was so damn pretty. Apparently girls son't appreciate that kind of thing.
Of course, this hit me like a ton of bricks. it took me a couple of months to process but I came out better for it. I started looking up how to be more confident with girls (David DeAngelo, gentlemen. Read his Double Your Dating book. I know it sounds cheesy, but there's some wisdom about male-female interactions in there), I started dressing better, I even changed the way i walked.
7 years later, I'm better off for it. If I ever feel a lack of self-esteem, I just head to the mall and start up conversations with 20 of the prettiest women I can find. Eventually I'll be confident enough to start busting their balls within a minute of meeting them, and they love it.