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worst date stories - Page 49

post #721 of 1406

I dated this one girl, but it turned out she was actually a humaniform robot built by the government to spy on me and implant ideas in my head. I should have known. Girls who look like that never walk up to me, let alone agree to go out with me. They don't like the things I like (she was like, totally into headphones), they don't agree to do that..."special thing"...I like so much, and they don't make faint whirring sounds when everything else around is quiet.

 

And she kept saying things that were just a little off. Vampires came up a lot. I don't even like vampires, let alone vampire movies. We went to see every single one. It's almost like she was subtly trying to get me to like vampires.

 

And boy could that girl eat. She ate like a pig but never seemed to gain an ounce. The other girls all hated her. I used to joke that she had a hollow leg. Turns out she did have a hollow leg.

 

You know how I finally figured out what she was? When the government set up their surveillance outside my house, their signals caused interference in my girl, and she started doing odd things. First, she started abruptly speaking in Spanish--turns out somebody in the surveillance shelter had hit the SAP button on one of their remote controls by mistake. Then she started getting her signals crossed with the neighbor's female spy robot and started doing his "special thing" instead of mine--I don't ever want to get hit with a whip again. Finally, when we were taking a break from vampires I put on an Austin Powers movie, and when the part with the Fembots came on, she started jerking uncontrollably, smoke billowing out of her ears, and then she exploded in a shower of sparks and shrapnel.

 

I was heartbroken! Literally, since a large section of her torso embedded itself in my chest and I required immediate surgery. Luckily I survived, but I learned my lesson. No more government spy robots.

 

Oh, and if you were wondering, her name was Simone.

post #722 of 1406

After I broke up with my first serious girlfriend (of 2 years) I went through a bad phase of dating.

 

My first and only blind date was a disaster.  Set up by a close friend.  I went on a double date with my friend and his girlfriend and her friend (my blind date).

 

I wasn't exactly impressed by my friend's girlfriend so I should have been wary.  When you're lonely and desperate bad things happen.

 

The date was pretty and nice enough,  but she was slightly smaller than a nose tackle.  I felt awkward because my friend was trying to be helpful, and having been on the receiving end of mean dates, I just tried to make the most of it.  We had nothing in common and I had the added pleasure of watching my friend make out with his date at the movie we were at.  I attempted to make out with my date but it seem to make her uncomfortable.  The night ended early and the feedback later on was I "wasn't her type." 

 

So can't say I would recommend the blind date set up to anyone else.

post #723 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Argyris View Post
 

I dated this one girl, but it turned out she was actually a humaniform robot built by the government to spy on me and implant ideas in my head. I should have known. Girls who look like that never walk up to me, let alone agree to go out with me. They don't like the things I like (she was like, totally into headphones), they don't agree to do that..."special thing"...I like so much, and they don't make faint whirring sounds when everything else around is quiet.

 

And she kept saying things that were just a little off. Vampires came up a lot. I don't even like vampires, let alone vampire movies. We went to see every single one. It's almost like she was subtly trying to get me to like vampires.

 

And boy could that girl eat. She ate like a pig but never seemed to gain an ounce. The other girls all hated her. I used to joke that she had a hollow leg. Turns out she did have a hollow leg.

 

You know how I finally figured out what she was? When the government set up their surveillance outside my house, their signals caused interference in my girl, and she started doing odd things. First, she started abruptly speaking in Spanish--turns out somebody in the surveillance shelter had hit the SAP button on one of their remote controls by mistake. Then she started getting her signals crossed with the neighbor's female spy robot and started doing his "special thing" instead of mine--I don't ever want to get hit with a whip again. Finally, when we were taking a break from vampires I put on an Austin Powers movie, and when the part with the Fembots came on, she started jerking uncontrollably, smoke billowing out of her ears, and then she exploded in a shower of sparks and shrapnel.

 

I was heartbroken! Literally, since a large section of her torso embedded itself in my chest and I required immediate surgery. Luckily I survived, but I learned my lesson. No more government spy robots.

 

Oh, and if you were wondering, her name was Simone.

 

Funny, something similar happened to me, except that she turned out to be a Russian spy...

post #724 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueangel2323 View Post
 

 

Funny, something similar happened to me, except that she turned out to be a Russian spy...

 

Mine had this sultry Ukrainian accent. I have a thing for any kind of accent that doesn't sound like the Inland Northern American dialect we speak in Michigan, and eastern European accents are particularly sexy.

post #725 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusho View Post
 

 

 

I think Mython is trying to control us by implanting in our heads that we are being controlled by someone else. You know? Rally around the flag effect pushes us to one person who seems to know the best, so we allocate power to him.

For example, this is exactly what Fidel Castro did, blaming the US for all of Cuba's problems, making all the Cubans rally around him so he could control and manipulate them at his will.

So YOU Sir, Mython, are the problem here :)

Jk jk 

 

I could very easily go into elaborate detail, but, as I've already said, this is no place to discuss such things in detail.

 

Therefore, I am going to bite my tongue, in spite of the mass-quoting and sarcastic responses to what I posted.

 

You, Marleybob 217, Argyris & Chris J are entitled to be as disbelieving as you wish.

 

Peace.

 

 

.


Edited by Mython - 10/3/13 at 8:02pm
post #726 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueangel2323 View Post

Umm wasn't she cutting herself too?
Nah, I had to convince her not to, she was wanting to, instead she said she wanted to try pot. :| I have nothing wrong with that though, much better than cutting. ^.^
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusho View Post

Honestly you should relieve yourself of some pressure. I like to just go out on solitary walks, and think about everything in front of me and what I like about it. Find the smallest things to appreciate in the smallest things around you. This really calms me down and makes me an immensely happy person. 
But find a way to relieve that stress! What do you do for a living?
I love all the small things, and also, I started taking naps and reading and stuff on my roof, and to be honest, it's really nice up there! biggrin.gif
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hi-Finthen View Post

Panther can't be the only furry on Head-Fi ... Where's that KODA dude ? lol
Speaking of which, these two squirrels were outside and...
post #727 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by eke2k6 View Post
 

I went on a date with a classmate who is in an open marriage this past weekend.

 

I'm conflicted because...well, she's married. Then again, she's a redhead with a mouth on her, and she wears skirts most of the time. Her husband's deployed in Cuba for the time being, and I'm recently single.

 

We saw Insidious 2 (awesome) and she ended up holding my hand through most of it. At one point she hand my hand on the inside of her upper thigh. Normally I'd capitalize on this, but she's married.

 

IDK what to do. She's married, and I don't want to end up like one of the characters from last night's South Park episode...

 

The girl wants some fun.

 

Either you want some fun or you don't. It's a simple decision. You're in a fortunate position, in as much as you have both options open to you.

 

Just be prepared that if you do decide to have some fun, she'll likely have fun with you once and then discard you and be on to the next conquest. As long as you can accept that from the outset, and as long as you 'take sensible precautions' you may have a fun night to remember, with no harm done.

 

 

.


Edited by Mython - 10/3/13 at 8:07pm
post #728 of 1406
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by RUMAY408 View Post
 

So can't say I would recommend the blind date set up to anyone else.

 

My first girlfriend was a blind date... we were together over three years :cool:

 

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Argyris View Post
 

Mine had this sultry Ukrainian accent. I have a thing for any kind of accent that doesn't sound like the Inland Northern American dialect we speak in Michigan, and eastern European accents are particularly sexy.

 

I sort of have a thing for soft Irish accents myself.

post #729 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Argyris View Post
 

I dated this one girl, but it turned out she was actually a humaniform robot built by the government to spy on me and implant ideas in my head. I should have known. Girls who look like that never walk up to me, let alone agree to go out with me. They don't like the things I like (she was like, totally into headphones), they don't agree to do that..."special thing"...I like so much, and they don't make faint whirring sounds when everything else around is quiet.

 

And she kept saying things that were just a little off. Vampires came up a lot. I don't even like vampires, let alone vampire movies. We went to see every single one. It's almost like she was subtly trying to get me to like vampires.

 

And boy could that girl eat. She ate like a pig but never seemed to gain an ounce. The other girls all hated her. I used to joke that she had a hollow leg. Turns out she did have a hollow leg.

 

You know how I finally figured out what she was? When the government set up their surveillance outside my house, their signals caused interference in my girl, and she started doing odd things. First, she started abruptly speaking in Spanish--turns out somebody in the surveillance shelter had hit the SAP button on one of their remote controls by mistake. Then she started getting her signals crossed with the neighbor's female spy robot and started doing his "special thing" instead of mine--I don't ever want to get hit with a whip again. Finally, when we were taking a break from vampires I put on an Austin Powers movie, and when the part with the Fembots came on, she started jerking uncontrollably, smoke billowing out of her ears, and then she exploded in a shower of sparks and shrapnel.

 

I was heartbroken! Literally, since a large section of her torso embedded itself in my chest and I required immediate surgery. Luckily I survived, but I learned my lesson. No more government spy robots.

 

Oh, and if you were wondering, her name was Simone.

 

Thank you for restoring this thread to its former integrity :)

post #730 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mython View Post
 

 

I could very easily go into elaborate detail, but, as I've already said, this is no place to discuss such things in detail.

 

Therefore, I am going to bite my tongue, in spite of the mass-quoting and sarcastic responses to what I posted.

 

You, Marleybob 217, Argyris & Chris J are entitled to be as disbelieving as you wish.

 

Peace.

 

 

.

 

Sorry for the sarcasm. While I don't believe in these Hollywood conspiracies, there is truth to your words over how power is used to control others. Usually power is a democratic institution, stemming from those who are usually portrayed as "controlled." The powerful are always limited by the ideas of the powerless, no matter what. THe only exception is when the powerful is able to control the ideas and thoughts of the powerless, which is what discursive historical struggles have always been about. I think that things like education are a better example of power control at its finest rather than Hollywood movies; in your case, this would just be a tool to entertain the masses and keep them content if there was any devilish plotting going on behind the curtain so as to decrease suspicion of such a vile deed.

Sorry man I didnt mean to disrespect you. We can talk more about this if you are interested, just PM me or something :)

post #731 of 1406
Hot date (Click to show)

  

 

LEAD Technologies Inc. V1.01 CREATOR: gd-jpeg v1.0 (using IJG JPEG v62), quality = 90

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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CREATOR: gd-jpeg v1.0 (using IJG JPEG v62), default quality

 

 

 

 

 

LEAD Technologies Inc. V1.01

 

 

 

post #732 of 1406

You missed one. One. In all the entire Internet.

post #733 of 1406
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinQY View Post
  Hot date (Click to show)

  

 

LEAD Technologies Inc. V1.01 CREATOR: gd-jpeg v1.0 (using IJG JPEG v62), quality = 90

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

CREATOR: gd-jpeg v1.0 (using IJG JPEG v62), quality = 75

 

CREATOR: gd-jpeg v1.0 (using IJG JPEG v62), default quality

 

 

 

 

 

LEAD Technologies Inc. V1.01

 

 

 

Well now we know why you're here Saturday nights!

post #734 of 1406
Thread Starter 

Another fail moment from my younger days... there was one girl in my class that I was crushing on. We'd been chatting a bit, I kinda had my arm around her shoulder a couple times (across the chair, not her shoulder directly), she saw the arm, looked at me, smiled, that kinda thing. Anyhow, it was the end of the day and there were a bunch of people heading out for pizza. I asked if she'd like to ride with me, and she agreed. So anyhow, I'm backing out of the parking lot when she leans back into a stretch and I am utterly distracted by her, err, distractions... and promptly drive into a parking meter. Smooth move right? Anyhow, that's just a tale of stupid.

 

I did eventually get her number and I asked her out. She actually seemed really excited when I did. We set up a date, but then a couple days later she calls to cancel but reschedules. Well that's good right? Her making the rescheduling means she's still interested right? So the date comes around, she no shows, I'm standing around waiting like a chump. I text, no answer. I call, no answer.

 

A couple days later I try texting again, assuming maybe she got called away for some emergency or something. I get this text reply "I'm really sorry I said yes... I didn't mean it".

 

Well wtf. If she didn't mean it why did she reschedule the first time?

 

Turns out she shacked back up with her ex.

post #735 of 1406

Ouch!

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