Originally Posted by Armaegis
It's easy to spout wisdom. Saying and doing are vastly different things however.
Why assume that saying and doing are mutually exclusive?
I have done, and continue to do, all the things I suggested in my previous couple of posts.
I am contented without grasping at others for companionship, and I do naturally make good eye contact with people of both sexes when I speak with them. It is amazing how much more responsive and engaging people are, in conversation, when they feel you are acknowledging them and listening to them, sustained eye contact being a major non-verbal cue in this regard.
In my younger days, I used to feel I needed someone in order to feel contented, and this led to me believing that the stakes were high when approaching the opposite sex, and, no surprise, I never had the guts to chat to any women, or, on the extremely rare occasions that I did, I fumbled my words or couldn't sustain a meaningful conversation past the first couple of sentences. As I matured, and as I increased my level of cognitive awareness, I became vastly more comfortable in myself as a human being, vastly more relaxed in myself and in interactions with others, and I have witnessed what an extraordinary difference this has made to the way people interact with me, face to face. Women do approach me now, even though, ironically, I am very content being single.
This, of course, is the paradox I described previously.
The less you 'need' someone, the more people are drawn to you. They subconsciously sense your relaxed state and are thus drawn to it. It's peculiar but life just works that way.
Please understand that I don't suggest these principles to others out of arrogance - I'm genuinely trying to give people a 'heads-up' on fundamental principles which I wish someone had given me, when I was younger. It could have saved me so many years of angst, and when I see how much angst there is in this thread, of course I'd like to help avert some of that angst. In amongst the jokes and unpleasant memories, there are some really sincere posts in this thread, from some members, who maybe deserve a little support from fellow members. I apologise if some of you resent my trying to be of assistance, or assume I am being insincere or haven't actually walked the talk, because, I assure you, I absolutely have walked the talk, and I am being sincere.
If there are any of my suggestions you feel are incorrect, by all means let me know, but I have experienced them to be valid in my life, as have many others, in their experience. I take absolutely zero credit for said principles - I learned them from others, and so on, and so on.
Edited by Mython - 9/19/13 at 1:57pm