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worst date stories - Page 33

post #481 of 1393
Quote:
Originally Posted by Armaegis View Post

I did. It was... an interesting conversation. 

 

 

3vmg22.jpg

post #482 of 1393

This reminds me of a time when I was dating previously mentioned somewhat daft Japanese girl. She was living in a dorm, of course and called me in a panic one evening because she'd heard strange noises from the person in the room next door. Why? Because the person's boyfriend or girlfriend was visiting, of course. Poor innocent girl.

post #483 of 1393
Quote:
Originally Posted by Currawong View Post

This reminds me of a time when I was dating previously mentioned somewhat daft Japanese girl. She was living in a dorm, of course and called me in a panic one evening because she'd heard strange noises from the person in the room next door. Why? Because the person's boyfriend or girlfriend was visiting, of course. Poor innocent girl.

 

Heheh - maybe YOU were the 'poor innocent'! Maybe she was playing the innocent but hoping you'd take the hint and make the same 'strange noises' with her?!  biggrin.gif

post #484 of 1393
Thread Starter 

I knew a guy who complained about his roommate once..."he's got some machine or something in there that he turns on every night that makes this weird tapping noise..."

post #485 of 1393
Oh gawd... There's this friend of my sisters who's spending the night... Needless to say like 75% of all her other friends, this chick digs me, but this one really does, really. I don't even know what to think considering she came over once before and that's it, and I felt so bad rejecting her... frown.gif
post #486 of 1393
Thread Starter 

So... you have girls who are all crushing on you... and this is a bad thing? :rolleyes:

post #487 of 1393

You have to realize that they're probably only attracted to him because of how his legs look in short shorts (I've seen him crossdress). So really, they're liking him for the completely wrong reasons. If they only got to know his personality and all the David Copperfield crap, I'm sure they'd scamper off without a second thought.

 

Great thread btw. Hopefully I'll never have to contribute a story to it anytime soon...

post #488 of 1393
Quote:
Originally Posted by Armaegis View Post
 

So... you have girls who are all crushing on you... and this is a bad thing? :rolleyes:

 

The horror! ;-;

post #489 of 1393
ohohoho ive got some stories to tell biggrin.gif
post #490 of 1393
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mshenay View Post

ohohoho ive got some stories to tell biggrin.gif

 

 

 

 

                                                   :popcorn:

 

 

 

 

.

post #491 of 1393
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mython View Post
 

 

 

 

 

                                                   :popcorn:

 

 

 

 

.

 

Ahh where do you guys want me to start... 

 

The sad and bad from childhood, the sick stuff in middle and High school, or at the begining...

 

I'll start with this... I have and still want just a wifeu and some daughters... something I knew I wanted  when I was like 6... that said for about 10 years ... well I was a little creepy and stalkerish :D I grew out of it  around 11'th grade... so I can start with Mature less creepy me OR the younger totally creep tastic version of my self [and trust me I was very innocent and nice CREEPY kid lol. I didn't want sex I just wanted to find a SOUL Mate my LIFE Partner my SHARE EVERYTHING ABOUT your self partner]

 

So I can start with the bad from my past or the good from like... the last 2 years 

post #492 of 1393

I like this thread, cool thread. I don't have much to talk about, just starting my high school dating life. I can tell you about a horrible talk about this girl I really like. Its not long, but I want to contribute. 

 

So I have no courage talking to girls, even though I don't think I'm that bad looking(prof. pic), but I don't have much experience. So after gaining some balls, I finally go sit down with her. It was a ******** nightmare! She just looked at me, I asked whats up, and she whispers something I can't even understand. I don't ask to repeat, I just go along. She completely ignores me the whole way through. And I still love her. Haha. 

 

Yeah, not very exciting, but its a top story in my world:wink_face:

 

Meanwhile, I'm texting her friend, and the woman I like is with her(shes Jewish, and its a Jewish holiday! You ain't supposed to be anywhere but home!) and I think I may have made a really bad joke, that could be taken the wrong way. Noooo! 

post #493 of 1393
Quote:
Originally Posted by Armaegis View Post

So... you have girls who are all crushing on you... and this is a bad thing? rolleyes.gif
it is... I don't like being expected to be a certain way or too much attention... I also don't really like rejecting someone... it was so hard. :| also, yesterday 3 people called me cute, so I must be doing something right...
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinQY View Post

You have to realize that they're probably only attracted to him because of how his legs look in short shorts (I've seen him crossdress). So really, they're liking him for the completely wrong reasons. If they only got to know his personality and all the David Copperfield crap, I'm sure they'd scamper off without a second thought.

Great thread btw. Hopefully I'll never have to contribute a story to it anytime soon...
:| I've been a lot happier after doing my own thing... society is schiit. and also my ex isn't about to kill herself anymore thankfully, but even if she were too I'd keep going now. smily_headphones1.gif. I hope she doesn't though... I might ask her tomorrow (she's coming over! <3)
Edited by gopanthersgo1 - 9/14/13 at 11:41pm
post #494 of 1393
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by gopanthersgo1 View Post


it is... I don't like being expected to be a certain way or too much attention... I also don't really like rejecting someone... it was so hard. :| also, yesterday 3 people called me cute, so I must be doing something right...
:| I've been a lot happier after doing my own thing... society is schiit. and also my ex isn't about to kill herself anymore thankfully, but even if she were too I'd keep going now. smily_headphones1.gif. I hope she doesn't though... I might ask her tomorrow (she's coming over! <3)

 

There are so many conflicting things here. I don't even know where to begin... :blink:

post #495 of 1393

 

 

* * * 

 

Modern Love
by Vladimir V. Putin

They say love is like a polar bear. If you want to take it in your arms and hug it, first you must be sure that it is properly drugged. Or perhaps love is like a tiger. If it escapes from the zoo and starts charging at you, you must shoot it with a tranquilizer dart. Whether it is a polar bear or a tiger, though, one thing is true: you must make love drop to the ground, preferably with some kind of drug, or it will maul you to death and eat you.

I was lonely, vulnerable. I had just come off a relationship that had seemed so promising, but now she was far away, in Siberia. It is true that I had sent her there, but the fact remained: I was alone.

Did I mention that love is like Siberia? I should have, because love can be quite cold sometimes. And it also can seem very far away, which Siberia is. (Unless you are in Siberia yourself.)

So there I was, lonely and vulnerable, the tranquilized polar bear of my heart lying in an unconscious white furry heap at my feet.

And that’s when I saw her. On TV.

I had never seen such a beautiful face, such a lithe and lissome frame. I had never seen such a delicate and precious creature as this, and I have hang-glided with endangered cranes.

I summoned my houseboy, Dmitri, who joined me in front of the TV. We watched in silent wonder for a minute or so, and then I asked him, “What is she doing?”

“I believe in America that is called ‘twerking.’ ”

“I must have her.”

Days passed. With Dmitri’s aid I sought her out. We tried Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. I sent her a Vine video of me kickboxing a tranquilized shark. No response.

I went to St. Petersburg for the G20. All around me, people were speaking of Syria, but all I could think about was my goddess with the foot-long tongue.

Love is like a flock of endangered cranes. It will take you soaring into the clouds, but if you are not careful it will send you hang-gliding into the side of a mountain, your brains falling to the earth in tiny gray jelly bits.

I excused myself from the G20, saying that I was trying to solve the crisis in Syria. In actuality, I was calling Dmitri to see if she had Vined me back.

“Have you heard anything from her?” I asked.

“No, but I have some … discouraging news. From TMZ.”

“TMZ? What is TMZ?”

“It is like KGB. They seem to have information on everyone.”

“Well?”

“It seems that she has a boyfriend. Someone named Liam.”

I put down the phone and looked out the window, at the gray skies of St. Petersburg. My heart suddenly felt like frozen tundra, and my love, a drugged polar bear, was about to fall to that tundra with the bear-like thud that bears make when they fall down suddenly. It was as if all the endangered cranes had suddenly tumbled from the sky, shot down by the antiballistic missiles of cruel fate. Love was a lot of things, it seemed to me, and all of them were pretty bad.

But then it occurred to me: a love such as the one I had for the one who twerked so majestically might come around only once in a lifetime. Who was I to give up on such a love? Who was this Liam to stand in my way?

I picked up the phone again and spoke to Dmitri.

“I want Liam shot with a tranquilizer dart.”

I put down the phone. Love is a lot of things, I have learned—bears, tigers, cranes—but why try to define it? When all is said and done, love means shooting at something and making it fall down. That, I have learned, is the most modern love of all.

With love,

Vlad ;')

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