Nice enough looking guy, he told me he used to be kinda heavy but had lost a lot of weight recently. We started on the, "So what's your story" conversation.
He was married for almost twenty years to a Japanese woman, and they have three daughters. He said that after his oldest daughter left home to start college, and his middle and youngest daughters had started high school, he came home from work one day to find everybody gone. She had taken the girls and moved into a hotel and had left him a letter with divorce papers and a directive to sign them and move out within the month.
He was understandably upset telling me this and I asked him what had happened: had they had a fight, what?! He told me that she just refused to discuss it, only saying there was no chance of reconciliation or anything. I asked him how long it had been since his divorce and he told me about a year.
I have to admit I felt a little bad for the dude, thinking, "What kind of woman just ends a twenty year marriage with no signs or clues that she's unhappy or anything?" So I agreed to go get a drink with the guy, if for no other reason than to hear the rest of this crazy story.
We picked a bar on accident that was closing right as we walked in so we had one drink and then left. He insisted on walking me to my door and then coming inside (to pee, supposedly) even though I gave him the standard excuses: "I'm really tired, my house is messy," etc.
I figured I'd just show him around and then say thanks for the drink and he'd take a clue and leave. Instead, he kind of pushed me up against a wall and tried to kiss me. I pushed back and said, "Hey, don't go so fast, I don't know you well enough yet to be intimate." He came in again, trying to kiss me several times while I kept turning my face away and saying, "Cmon, I said no, I don't know you well enough for this. We've only had one twenty minute date!"
He tried one more time to kiss me and this time I clamped my lips shut and physically pushed him away from me. He got this hurt look on his face and said, "But I thought the whole purpose of 'dating' is to get intimate and figure out if you like each other or not!! How are you going to know if you don't TRY IT?!" I just shook my head wordlessly and pointed to the door.
Then he said the thing that really made my stomach turn over, as if the past few moments fending him off hadn't been bad enough. He kind of laughed and reached around to pinch me on the butt and he said, "Okay, okay. I'll be a good boy. You're so hot, I'm actually surprised I haven't raped you yet!! But.. I'll be a good boy. This time." And then he leaned in one more time to try to kiss me and got my cheek, as I stood there in shock. Then he finally opened the door and left.
I now no longer wonder why his wife left him. If I had to put up with that every day I wouldn't have lasted another twenty minutes, let alone twenty years, without poking my own eyes out with a fork.
A lesson to anyone who doesn't already know: rape jokes on a first date? Not cool.