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worst date stories - Page 86

post #1276 of 1351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Armaegis View Post
 

I think the most chilling thing is that from her point of view I don't think she even realizes what she did was wrong.

 

I have too much hate built up. Anger is healthy, it protects you from future harm and pushes you forward, but this hate is seething and rots me from the inside. I know I need to let go of the hate and move on, and most of the time I'm ok, but then seeing her just triggers the rage and my brain starts to shut down under that cry for vengeance. It's not healthy, but I'm stuck. There was so much psychological damage done before and during the breakup/cheating that I haven't fully pulled myself together from that yet even after these past couple years, and seeing her triggers regression. It's like trying to heal a scab that gets ripped open every time I see her. Maybe it's all just scar tissue now.

 

I actually am considering freezing the event if she starts appearing regularly. "My apologies, the weekly dance is now cancelled. Certain personas have made the environment poisonous for me and I can no longer operate under those conditions."


That in turn will be even more damaging. You may want to look into getting someone else involved who can take over the organization if she decides to show.

post #1277 of 1351

I know this'll suck, maybe since last meeting you she has thought of reconciliation? Why would she start appearing in your circles again after all these years of staying away

post #1278 of 1351
Don't give up, stay strong and keep the dance going. You are the bigger person here, you have nothing to hide or fear. I realize it can be hard keeping your nerve but consider it as a part of character building.
post #1279 of 1351
Quote:
Originally Posted by Armaegis View Post
 

I think the most chilling thing is that from her point of view I don't think she even realizes what she did was wrong.

 

I have too much hate built up. Anger is healthy, it protects you from future harm and pushes you forward, but this hate is seething and rots me from the inside. I know I need to let go of the hate and move on, and most of the time I'm ok, but then seeing her just triggers the rage and my brain starts to shut down under that cry for vengeance. It's not healthy, but I'm stuck. There was so much psychological damage done before and during the breakup/cheating that I haven't fully pulled myself together from that yet even after these past couple years, and seeing her triggers regression. It's like trying to heal a scab that gets ripped open every time I see her. Maybe it's all just scar tissue now.

 

I actually am considering freezing the event if she starts appearing regularly. "My apologies, the weekly dance is now cancelled. Certain personas have made the environment poisonous for me and I can no longer operate under those conditions."

All I can say is, DO NOT LET HER WIN

 

Let the dance continue, as someone has said, be happy and pretend to ignore her, it'll eat her and in sometime it won't affect you

post #1280 of 1351
Thread Starter 

It's stupid. I hate how she still affects me after all this time. I should know better, I should let it go, but I can't. It just festers in my mind and makes me hateful. The damage she did has sunk me into depression. I think to myself "why can't I stop?" because it's just making me worse. It is affecting the rest of my life and my interactions with other people. My ability to trust has really been shattered. My self-confidence is a shadow of what it used to be.

 

I can put on a face, go about my day. I have my moments where I feel fine. And then all it takes is a blip in the memory and it comes crashing down again. Seeing her is like getting hit with a truck.

 

I've sought out professional help. I don't think this is something that I will overcome by myself anaymore.

 

 

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hutnicks View Post
 

That in turn will be even more damaging. You may want to look into getting someone else involved who can take over the organization if she decides to show.

 

Potentially already in the works.

 

I hate to leave the dance scene, and it is one of the things that I truly look forward too... but if it tainted, then I must consider the rest of my mental health. I will miss the dance, and might become even sadder not being able to attend, but that's better than wallowing into rage.

 

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by fnkcow View Post
 

I know this'll suck, maybe since last meeting you she has thought of reconciliation? Why would she start appearing in your circles again after all these years of staying away

 

Yegods no... I am on the verge of a violent meltdown when I see her. Reconciliation is not an option.

 

 

 

 

post #1281 of 1351
Not a terrible date. But my girlfriend, our friend Abby, and her "boyfriend-ish guy" were over a few weeks ago. Instead of all just hanging out on the trampoline, her date sat inside, texting A DIFFERENT GIRL, she was pretty devastated to say the least.
post #1282 of 1351
Thread Starter 

I assume he's no longer the boyfriend-ish-guy after that episode.

post #1283 of 1351
She can't decide. She doesnt know if she still likes him that way
post #1284 of 1351

We had a girl work for us as a temp last summer. She and her husband moved here from BC so he could be closer to his girlfriend.

 

That got a universal WTF raising of eyebrows all round when she mentioned that casually.

post #1285 of 1351
Thread Starter 

Even in the world of poly relationships, that seems a little odd...

post #1286 of 1351
I feel like I am the world most stupid person on planet now -_- The girl whom I like and whom I confessed last month and whom said "just be friend" attempted to sit next to me during our Bio class, my dumb brain decided to switch seat with my friend who is next to me. My dumb brain repeated the same exact dumb thing when she attempt to get closer to me. & again... Then again... All over again! Tons of eye contact but my dumb brain did the stupid thing again haha
post #1287 of 1351
Quote:
Originally Posted by BillsonChang007 View Post

I feel like I am the world most stupid person on planet now -_- The girl whom I like and whom I confessed last month and whom said "just be friend" attempted to sit next to me during our Bio class, my dumb brain decided to switch seat with my friend who is next to me. My dumb brain repeated the same exact dumb thing when she attempt to get closer to me. & again... Then again... All over again! Tons of eye contact but my dumb brain did the stupid thing again haha

No harm in what you did. What I've realized in all these (rather small) years of my life, if someone wants something they'll fight for it, and if they don't, they never REALLY wanted.

 

If she was coming close to you out of pity or something then she'll learn a lesson, if she wants to be a good friend, she won't let these things bother her. Just don't fool yourself into thinking that she's developing feelings for you. 

 

/Take everything I say with a grain of salt

post #1288 of 1351
Quote:
Originally Posted by abhinit90 View Post
 

No harm in what you did. What I've realized in all these (rather small) years of my life, if someone wants something they'll fight for it, and if they don't, they never REALLY wanted.

 

If she was coming close to you out of pity or something then she'll learn a lesson, if she wants to be a good friend, she won't let these things bother her. Just don't fool yourself into thinking that she's developing feelings for you. 

 

/Take everything I say with a grain of salt

Some people like me have problems with this because I almost never fight for what I want. Probably a psychological issue making me act like a doormat but oh well.

post #1289 of 1351
Quote:
Originally Posted by BucketInABucket View Post
 

Some people like me have problems with this because I almost never fight for what I want. Probably a psychological issue making me act like a doormat but oh well.

Hmm.... that's not usually the case, but I can see where you come from. Suppose you have a great friend for 2 years, and he/she suddenly starts acting weird then won't you try to approach them and ask them the reason, or would you rather "They're not talking, so it's all cool, no issues, I'll move on'

 

Also I wrote that particularly so that the OP might not have hopes about a future together, call me pessimistic but hope always gets me sad. Let me know Shawshank Redemption "Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane."

post #1290 of 1351
Quote:
Originally Posted by abhinit90 View Post
 

No harm in what you did. What I've realized in all these (rather small) years of my life, if someone wants something they'll fight for it, and if they don't, they never REALLY wanted.

 

If she was coming close to you out of pity or something then she'll learn a lesson, if she wants to be a good friend, she won't let these things bother her. Just don't fool yourself into thinking that she's developing feelings for you. 

 

/Take everything I say with a grain of salt

everytime she did those things I keep my thoughts on "let it goooooooooo" xD although it tends to have the opposite effect... indeed she will fight for it if she really wanted it... it just get kind of awkward everytime she attempts to get closer... maybe I shall let in sometime xP 

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