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Does wearing headphones in public make one asocial?

post #1 of 17
Thread Starter 

16 y/o head-fier here. 

My mom gets mad at me when I wear headphones at school/other public places. She claims that if I continue this practice, I will have no friends and be depressed. My rebuttal is that I already have 4 good friends I hang out with at lunch/on the weekends, I do extracurriculars, (swimming, cross country, Model United Nations) and that listening to music during the day makes me less depressed. Who do you think is right? 

 

(please try be as unbiased as you can. Also, I would love to hear from anyone with children of their own, and what they would do in this experience) 

post #2 of 17
I would argue being egotistical, rude, inconsiderate, closed minded and selfish makes you a poorly socialized person.
post #3 of 17

Let's put in this way: we alienate ourselves from the outside world. Sometimes I ignore people I know to keep my headphones on. 

post #4 of 17
I am 50 this year and reading your post makes me sad. I am so lucky to have been a child/young adult when I was back in the 1970's. There is so much more pressure on the young now to fit in, to be a part of something, to fill every hour of the day.

When I was younger and it was summer holidays my mum used to pack me a lunch, wave me off at 8 in the morning and not expect me back until dinner time. She knew how learning to find things to do on my own and be with my own company would make me a stronger adult, more self reliant which it has.

The only activity outside of school that was school related was home work. I had plenty of friends and we used to ride our bikes, play soccer and all sorts of other things, none of which was organized.. It was called play!

It seems now that everything a child or young adult does not has to have an end result, especially I have found in North America. If your not on one thing or another your classed as anti social and I think that is ridiculous.

The way things are going no one is going to be able to think for themselves but instead rely upon being in a group or organized activity and I think that a very sorry state of affairs, it does not build character but rather just drone mentality.

I have a suggestion, something to read if you have not already read him.. Henry David Thoreau, Walden would be a good start, then Civil Disobedience. That man knew a thing or two about self reliance, heck Gandhi used Civil Disobedience as a template to free the Indian people of British rule!
post #5 of 17

Headphones make you hard to approach. Is it antisocial? Yeah. 

 

Is that bad? Depends on where. If you are at a party or other occasion where you should be interacting with other humans and are sitting in a corner listening to your headphones, that is probably bad since you aren't interacting when you really should be. 

 

If you are walking around or doing something that doesn't involve lots of social interaction, feel free to wear headphones. The only social interaction events you are blocking out are the stupid ones. 

post #6 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris J View Post

I would argue being egotistical, rude, inconsiderate, closed minded and selfish makes you a poorly socialized person.

Are you implying that I exhibit any of these traits?
post #7 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThinkAwesome View Post

Headphones make you hard to approach. Is it antisocial? Yeah. 

Is that bad? Depends on where. If you are at a party or other occasion where you should be interacting with other humans and are sitting in a corner listening to your headphones, that is probably bad since you aren't interacting when you really should be. 

If you are walking around or doing something that doesn't involve lots of social interaction, feel free to wear headphones. The only social interaction events you are blocking out are the stupid ones. 

First of all, an ANTIsocial would be more of an axe-murder type, while an Asocial just dislikes any kind of social interaction. Second of all, I would never dream of listening to headphones at a party/out with friends/something of that sort. I'm talking about when I'm going between classes, in the library, taking pictures for photography, generally stuff along those lines.
post #8 of 17
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by ianmedium View Post

I am 50 this year and reading your post makes me sad. I am so lucky to have been a child/young adult when I was back in the 1970's. There is so much more pressure on the young now to fit in, to be a part of something, to fill every hour of the day.

When I was younger and it was summer holidays my mum used to pack me a lunch, wave me off at 8 in the morning and not expect me back until dinner time. She knew how learning to find things to do on my own and be with my own company would make me a stronger adult, more self reliant which it has.

The only activity outside of school that was school related was home work. I had plenty of friends and we used to ride our bikes, play soccer and all sorts of other things, none of which was organized.. It was called play!

It seems now that everything a child or young adult does not has to have an end result, especially I have found in North America. If your not on one thing or another your classed as anti social and I think that is ridiculous.

The way things are going no one is going to be able to think for themselves but instead rely upon being in a group or organized activity and I think that a very sorry state of affairs, it does not build character but rather just drone mentality.

I have a suggestion, something to read if you have not already read him.. Henry David Thoreau, Walden would be a good start, then Civil Disobedience. That man knew a thing or two about self reliance, heck Gandhi used Civil Disobedience as a template to free the Indian people of British rule!

And YES, I could not agree with you more. My mom is freaking out that the only "structured" things that I have planned for this summer are lifegaurding at the pool on Monday-Thursday afternoons, going to a 2 week journalism program at Brown, and going on a week long college tour of Southern California. frown.gif
post #9 of 17

IMO if more less people listened to music etc and talked to each other train and bus journeys could be a better experience.  If you listen to music you are effectively shutting down the possibility for someone to start a conversation, unless of course the conversation starts about your particular headphones :D  On the other hand there are few opportunities to meet new people in the day apart from mealtime if you eat out or public transport, plenty of opportunity to listen to music at home IMO.

post #10 of 17

You're both right, and maybe a little bit wrong.

 

There's nothing wrong with listening to headphones, as long as you're not doing it in the many many situations where it's more important to be interacting with or just taking in your surroundings.  Listening when you're, say, walking home from school is OK.  Listening when you're in a social situation, or in class, not good.  To be honest, you sound like you more or less have a handle on that, and maybe your Mom's being a little alarmist.  But give her a break, that's what Moms do, they worry because they care about you.  However, when you say 'other public places' it sounds like you might be doing it around your Mom.  If this is the case, it obviously bothers her, so try to cut that out to reduce friction (and show common courtesy).  If not, and you're just talking to her about how much/where you listen to 'phones, you should be able to do a better job communicating that you're exercising discretion.  You seem articulate enough to do that. 

 

Bottom line, your Mom will probably still worry some.  So I guess my advice would be that a love of music is a great gift that will be with you your whole life, so that's great.  But to make both of your lives easier, just try to be nice and reassure your Mom, and it will make both your lives a bit easier.  Your lucky to have a Mom around who cares enough to make you miserable, ha ha ha.       

post #11 of 17
Just got SE215s and they isolate like crazy.
My parents are going insane because they will always call me to do something, and I will be off in music land smily_headphones1.gif
The point is, it depends what you are doing.
If you are on the daily commute then it is the perfect oppurtunity to listen to music.
At school, parties, social events etc.. they obviously arent going to be necessary.
And Parents dont usually support our audiophilism for some reason frown.gif I am quite excited for when I become an adult. But I still like spending all my money on Hi-Fi gear and not rent!
post #12 of 17
Headphones On and there are still knobs who want to carry on a conversation with you... No different than someone yakking at you while your trying to read the news paper or a book on public transit.

Dude I don't care about the weather, your afflictions or your opinions... Just leave me alone and stop coughing your sickness on me... Anti-social, not in the least, just not interested in Chit-Chat. biggrin.gif

Sent from my HTC Desire HD A9191 using Tapatalk 2
post #13 of 17
I kinda have this same feeling towards people who use their smartphones when having a conversation, it's basically the same anti social behavior and I usually get quite mad when it happens to me... I'm technically part of the younger generation (17-18) and I don't really understand all the social integration and mass media and stuff like that, pretty old fashioned according to my friends and family, so maybe my view is a little bit "off", but I think it's fine, as long as you take them off when you need to....I use CIEMS on a daily basis, but if I meet my friend on the way to school regardless of how awesome the sound is I'll take them out and socialise, it's more of how you conduct yourself, not whether or bot you wear headphones...
post #14 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by drez View Post

IMO if more less people listened to music etc and talked to each other train and bus journeys could be a better experience.  If you listen to music you are effectively shutting down the possibility for someone to start a conversation, unless of course the conversation starts about your particular headphones :D  On the other hand there are few opportunities to meet new people in the day apart from mealtime if you eat out or public transport, plenty of opportunity to listen to music at home IMO.

There aren't many people worth talking to on the bus. Avoided stupid conversations is well worth missed decent ones. Planes and longer distance trains sometimes have more interesting people, but I can't do several hours of social interaction without killing myself so eventually the headphones come on. 

post #15 of 17
Quote:
Originally Posted by Luv My BASS 1 View Post


Are you implying that I exhibit any of these traits?

 

No!

That was not my intention at all!

Sorry about any misunderstanding!   redface.gif

I was only saying that wearing headphones does NOT make you asocial.

 

How a person carries themselves in their day to day life does.  I can see that you understand there is a time and place for headphones and a time and place for no headphones.  Just the fact that you are talking and interacting with us speaks volumes!    i.e. yopu don't appear to be asocial.

People who talk to me about themselves without asking me about myself are just as asocial as anyone who tries to not talk to people.

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