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For Sale: The Best LCD-2's In the Universe  

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
This Classified is Closed

For Sale:
The Best LCD-2's In the Universe

Will Ship To: Anywhere

For sale are the most tremendous sounding, beautiful LCD-2's ever assembled.  A little bit of background is in order to justify my asking price:




When the LCD-2 Rev 1's were in production, the product was still fairly new and going through groin growing pains.  Alex and Sankar were still discovering what worked and what didn't.  In the midst of their feverish production to keep up with orders (they had a month-long backlog at the time), three pairs were built that were -for lack of a better term - perfect.  They couldn't figure out why, nor could they replicate it through mimicry of the driver tension and pad alignment - these pairs were inexplicably but undoubtedly head-and-shoulders better than all the other LCD-2's in the land.  Thus the folks at Audeze came to perhaps their most painful decision - the babies they had created, the perfect specimens of all their labor, had to be destroyed, or users who would possibly hear one of these pairs would notice the discrepancy and create a maelstrom of controversy about "veiled/unveiled/godlike" pairs that would engulf the fledgling company in the flames of a backlash too damaging to withstand.


So they told their lackey (Freddie) to go out and destroy it, so that no one would know what they were missing out on.  Freddie, on the other hand, was a true purveyor of wonderful sound - he knew it would be a devastating loss to the world if the perfect headphones were scrapped.  Having come to the crossroads, he came to a bold decision.  He absconded with the three pairs, had basic plastic surgery to alter his looks, acquired a fake passport, faked his own death, knocked out his own teeth to falsify dental records, and fled to South America to live out his mid-20's.


What happened to the LCD-2's?  One pair he kept, one was seized at customs and is in the hands of some corrupt official, and the other he sold to pay for his ticket - to me.  So this is the only available "perfect" pair you will ever find.


But perfect wasn't enough for me.  I noticed the pads weren't the best, so I purchased some Koss KC75 pads for $700.  On some of my recent travels to the Far East*, while on the pinnacle of a mist-shrouded mountain no one had ever reached before, I found a withered mystic selling a single vial of the most potent wax known to man. It is actually used by yogis as a sort of hallucinogenic chapstick, but doubles as the most tremendous wood polishing wax.  I hired a team of Tibetan monks uttering Gregorian chants (Couldn't find Gregorian monks to chant Tibetan) to rub the pads and wood perpetually any time that the headphones were not on my head, and sometimes while they were on my head.  At this point this pair is the single best sounding and looking pair of headphones ever created, and look sufficiently like genitalia to challenge any other exclusive pair out there.


Am selling to buy a pair of Ultrasone Edition 10.


I would take pictures of these, but every time I try the camera explodes as it cannot process this much awesome.  










*Rhode Island

post #2 of 13

Never mind, good luck with your sale!

Edited by ValentinHogea - 10/23/12 at 7:23am
post #3 of 13
Thread Starter 

Thank you, and good luck with your sale!  Please don't change your listing title on my account - I thoroughly enjoyed "The Most Beautiful LCD-2's in the World.  Yes I said it".  Yours are probably beautiful enough in a homely sort of way, though the universe is at least three times bigger than the world so mine are beautiful in a larger area.

post #4 of 13

Nice story, enjoyed it a lot.


But if you want someone to pay an over $1000 premium for a story, you gotta try harder. But please do it haha :D

post #5 of 13
Do you have any evidence to back your claim that these are the best LCD2s?
post #6 of 13

I've been to Rhode Island.  I've worked in Rhode Island.  You, sir, do not know Rhode Island.  That withered mystic is a lunatic government employee who delights in selling his own earwax to unsuspecting tourists.  I'm afraid you've befouled your million dollar headphones.

post #7 of 13
Thread Starter 

RE: evidence - If anything was measurable, it would have been possible to replicate in the other sets.  However, it is still a fact that these are the best ever, just a subjective fact.  These sound like real life.


RE: Rhode Island mystics - come to think of it he may have just been a homeless person.  But I can't argue with the results I've gotten out of that vial.

Edited by Radio_head - 10/23/12 at 8:35am
post #8 of 13

Well, the industrial waste and air of corruption in Providence does make for magical bodily fluids...

post #9 of 13

Don't take would ruin the mystery!

post #10 of 13

Interested. Do you accept travelers checks. 

post #11 of 13


post #12 of 13
Thread Starter 

Yes I do.  Made out to Soupy Sales.

post #13 of 13


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