The Giant Beyers are coming...they're already sending out their thought control signals. That's why Head-Fi'ers are all so obsessed with cans. The Beyers are sending messages. If I listen closely between songs, the extra resolving power I get with my $2 Wal-Mart RCA cable interconnect lets me hear their voices. They're speaking in Beyerish, which sounds a lot like white noise to most people. I have no idea what they're saying because I don't speak Beyerish and I lost my babelfish.
Anyway, the end is near. The green lasers will lance across space and destroy huge swatches of the planet. They'll obliterate the Sennheiser factory and most of Germany with it. The seas will rise and wash away all of humanity. Then the Beyers will have Earth all to themselves, to start a new race of sentient, walking headphones. Their creed will be "Feel the Energy of sound."
However, inexplicably there will be only one broadcasting center that survives the destruction, and it will be playing "Never Gonna Give You Up" on repeat because that's the last song the DJ queued up and the Beyers can't figure out how to stop it because the whole thing is actually the work of the devil, and thus it will be picked up by every single audio source on the planet regardless of range or whether or not it even features an FM tuner. Unfortunately, this means the Beyers can never fulfill their creed because they can't stand to reproduce Rick Astley for more than point four of a femtosecond. Soon thereafter the entire lot of them will fall apart from disuse and perish.
So the true end of the world won't be brought about by the Invasion of the Beyers, but by a perpetual Ric'roll. At least that's what Google Translate seems to think when I type in Beyerish, and it's always right.
Edited by Argyris - 11/19/12 at 7:17am