Seriously? Does any of it fix my receding hairline of DOOM at 23?
And lol Law involvement - lets not go into the lack thereof on my holiday, 3x 4.5L V8 offroad Toyota Land Cruisers - some of which were turbo charged, and one had an intercooler and a complete rebuild + beer + soft sand + fireworks + new years + double clutching + singing("the internet is for porn", "banana phone", "Barbie girl".... we were running out of songs) was fun times, and ofcourse lots of drinking games, sweat, sunburn (44C on average), and spiders the size of my fist EVERYWHERE! I got over my arachnaphobia quick, on day 3 I was Rambo, until they hang from the ceiling and you turn your head and stare straight at a giant Garden Orb or wolf spider.
And lots of paedophile jokes, never has there been so many of one guys 15 year old sister, Lol was hilarious.
That was all at Sodwanna Bay.
At Ballito - I ended up doing a strip tease in the middle of a bar during the day and got cheered on by the entire place, because I was playing truth or dare with a bunch of crazy lesbians. Only realised the other day that the shirt I was wearing said: "lets get naked and dance on the tables"
Thats the short version. Got lots more stories. And drank 14 beers a day, and didn't gain a single kilo **** YEAH
That's AWESOME!!!!! Please tell more!!!
Haha you obviously don't know me, Argyris and the other original member of TMAC know me by now - despite being full of myself and smart, I do lots of cool and stupid ****. :P and my love life is the craziest. Lol, Warrenpchi knows all about that. Sorta my partner in crime around here - heck our custom titles even match.
Anyway so more stories....
(This one sounds dodge but it really isn't)
In Sodwanna, my friend (calling him Bob to obscure his identity) got annoyed with us cracking the paedophile jokes about his sister (who was working the bar, which didn't help much) so Bob gave us a challenge, if we could catch a ghost crab he would get her to give the winner a BJ, in hope that we would fail and then shut up with the jokes. So then we discovered exactly how fast those little bastards are, motherlessly fast.
One of my friends caught one, but he killed it, so he lost, then another one did, stalked the thing like a ninja, but he had a girlfriend.
We wouldn't have cached in, but then we did tell Bobs sister about what Bob offered. And seeing a 15 year old beat the crap out of her 22 year old lobster sunburnt brother for 20min was some of the best entertainment yet.
Also me and another friend, got our nipples waxed. Was random, and hurt like hell, even have a video..... don't get drunk and let 15 year olds wax you.....
So then enough with the 15 year olds, this is sounding disturbing.
Bob was also known as the poop wizard, and everytime he took a poop he was casting a spell. Bob got jippo guts, and he was casting a spell and some little boy was looking for his mom:
-little boy opens door to toilet stall where Bob is casting a spell
-little boy: "you know where my mommy is?"
-little boy stares blankly and confusingly at Bob
-little boy: "can you help me find my mommy?"
-Bob: "No little boy I'm taking a poop..."
-little boy: "ok..."
-little boy stares blankly
-Bob drops a log
-little boy walks away.
-Bob: "should have done that from the beginning"
after about 2 days of casting spells he swallowed some Dettol. That worked lol.
its about 11 at night (still 23C) and the generator is off, were in the drinking pool (hot tub sized pool with seats) leka drunk.
next minute a friend floats parallel in the middle, penis sticks out at the water, he moves it around and says look at my parascope.
Also in the drinking pool, before that, we were chilling, and a frog jumps in the water, in a place where spiders are overabundant and gigantic, a friend calmy puts down the hubbly pipe and superman lunges out the water like his life depends on it.
So on new years at the quarry when we set off the fireworks before the drunken singing on the Land cruisers:
Bob bought some cheepo fireworks, and one D Size battery sized cracker, he set of the cheepo fireworks first, of which half failed.
Then people with about $2k worth of fireworks started setting up, and Bob goes and buries this monster cracker just behind them (bare in mind there is barely any light.)
Ever seen people think that all that fireworks next to them was spontaneously exploding? Yeah it was funny, and didn't know Bob could run that fast. Lol
So back in Ballito, was hanging out with the lesbians again, and we were playing Truth or dare on "Daredevil" mode on my phone.
I got the worst one. I had to go to the bathroom and take a naughty picture of myself and auction it off to the highest bidder in the bar. Yeah... not gonna say what happened afterwards, not safe.
And to embarrass myself as I always do, I was wearing like speedo shorts to tan, and burnt half of my leg red, so I looked like a half baked steak. brown and red.
Also _ _ _ _ _ muffins, and D7000... woAHaahAHha.
was quite funny we made the muffins on the first Jan, since everyone went to sleep early, finished at like 3am, and then we had a batch out ready to chow and Bob's mom (who owns the place) pops by the table and sees the muffins, she asked "What kind of muffins are these?" with a smile on her face, Bob smiles, Bobs mom stole a muffin.
I would hire someone to beat him.