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Rant warning: A Lesson In Manners, or "How NOT to get someone to give you advice" - Page 5

post #61 of 76

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMRap8SjQ-I

post #62 of 76

Hi, I'm the guy he's complaining about (or one of them)

 

Macedonianhero,

 

Your response was far more rude than forgetting to say please and thank you in a simple PM on a message board.  Just because you have a nice arsenal of cans doesn't give you the right to act condescending. I have friends with insane NAGRA/ATC systems that are far more helpful and polite about giving advice. I'm not some newbie. I've been on these forums since 2001. That's more than 13 years, and never have I come across someone that had such a poor attitude.

 

I'm from Los Angeles, we are a very curt, straight to the point kind of people and we live fast paced lives. I'm from a big city, and we are sometimes moving so fast that we forget small formalities. Sorry if I offended you in some way, but there's no need to make a big fuss over it. This is a forum for sharing information. I thought I could learn something interesting from talking to you, but if you'd rather go off on some tangent about manners, I'm clearly wasting my time.

 

Take care,

 

Tim


Edited by TimSchirmer - 7/3/14 at 2:55pm
post #63 of 76
Thread Starter 
Tim, what you may not realize is that a lot of the longer term members here get a lot of unsolicited PMs from total newbies, many of whom have NEVER posted here, and won't ever, who send a PM asking for information, in a way that comes across as quite rude, just as MH described. Given how long you have been a member I'm surprised that you yourself don't get such PMs.

I don't think it's acceptable to fire off a curt PM to someone when you are asking for advice without being at least a little nice about it. I typically just ignore such PMs. If someone cannot bother to add two simple words to a PM, why should the person who they are asking for help from bother typing any words at all?
post #64 of 76

My message was as follows:

Quote:

Hi there, I noticed you have a KGSS and Stax Omega, so I figured you'd be a good source of reference since stax and grado are IMO the only cans worth bothering with, although I haven't heard the new Shure open air dynamics. 

 

Anyways, I currently have Grado SR-325's with a Teac AH-01 amp&dac. Do you think I'd be better off going with a PS-500, RS-1, or just ditch all of it and find a second hand Stax 4040 setup. I used to have the SRM-T1 with 404's driven by a Naim CDP and it sounded freakin' awesome. I was sad to sell that setup many years ago. 

 

I'm also interested in what you think of the Fostex cans, and if you've heard the Shure SRH-1840's. 

 

Yes, I did forget to say thank you, but I don't think I was being that curt or demanding. I guess some people are just sensitive special snowflakes.


Edited by TimSchirmer - 7/3/14 at 3:13pm
post #65 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skylab View Post

Tim, what you may not realize is that a lot of the longer term members here get a lot of unsolicited PMs from total newbies, many of whom have NEVER posted here, and won't ever, who send a PM asking for information, in a way that comes across as quite rude, just as MH described. Given how long you have been a member I'm surprised that you yourself don't get such PMs.

I don't think it's acceptable to fire off a curt PM to someone when you are asking for advice without being at least a little nice about it. I typically just ignore such PMs. If someone cannot bother to add two simple words to a PM, why should the person who they are asking for help from bother typing any words at all?

Exactly, well out Rob.

Tim:

Just because I have a nice audio collection does NOT mean I have to respond to PMs as curt as yours. A culture of entitlement won't get you far in this world.

And for the record, you were 1 of 5 the past few weeks from several members. Your post here just proves my point of this culture of self entitlement, so thanks for that. wink.gif
Edited by MacedonianHero - 7/3/14 at 3:05pm
post #66 of 76
Thread Starter 
Well we all have different philosophies in life. My personal philosophy is that when I'm asking for something, that being extra nice about how I ask for it generally helps increase the odds of getting what I'm asking for. It's a practice that's been pretty effective for me, and that I have taught my children., because I believe strongly in it. But we all have our own ways in life. I personally also would never call someone a "special sensitive snowflake" cool.gif
post #67 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by TimSchirmer View Post

My message was as follows:

Yes, I did forget to say thank you, but I don't think I was being that curt or demanding. I guess some people are just sensitive special snowflakes because they have omegas. 

But you didn't say please, or do you mind helping. Nothing...just your laundry list of questions. Again, you are not the only one as this is a pet peeve that both Rob and I share. Some common curtesy goes a long way in life. smily_headphones1.gif
post #68 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skylab View Post

Well we all have different philosophies in life. My personal philosophy is that when I'm asking for something, that being extra nice about how I ask for it generally helps increase the odds of getting what I'm asking for. It's a practice that's been pretty effective for me, and that I have taught my children., because I believe strongly in it. But we all have our own ways in life. I personally also would never call someone a "special sensitive snowflake" cool.gif

Bingo!
post #69 of 76

What culture of entitlement? Don't even try to make me out to be some spoiled kid with no manners. I'm an ESL teacher and I spent the last 4 years of my life teaching underprivileged indigenous people on the Colombian coast, so don't get self righteous with me. Yes, manners are important, but one of the first things they teach you at any cotillion school is that pointing out someone else's bad manners is also a no-no. 

 

This is forum is supposed to be a place for people with a common passion for badass headphones to share information. If you don't like sharing information and learning, then why are you here?


Edited by TimSchirmer - 7/3/14 at 3:15pm
post #70 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by TimSchirmer View Post

What culture of entitlement? Don't even try to make me out to be some spoiled kid with no manners. I'm an ESL teacher and I spent the last 4 years of my life teaching underprivileged indigenous people on the Colombian coast, so don't get self righteous with me. Yes, manners are important, but one of the first things they teach you at any cotillion school is that pointing out someone else's bad manners is also a no-no. 

This is forum is supposed to be a place for people with a common passion for badass headphones to share information. If you don't like sharing information and learning, then why are you here?

Just a heads up that 2 of the others have PM'd me apologizing. So I'm cool with that and I'm happy to help out where I can. For some reason, you're insisting that you're in the right. Please take a deep breath and re-read your PM to me and think if you were to ask a total stranger for help, that's the approach you'd use moving forward?

For the record, both Rob (Skylab) and I come from even bigger cities than LA. smily_headphones1.gif
Edited by MacedonianHero - 7/3/14 at 3:28pm
post #71 of 76

Assuming best intentions is always nice (at least to preserve our sanity) but after a while it begins to wear.  It would seem sometimes a user is simply a straw that breaks the camel's back.

 

As for this particular spat, MH made an oblique public reference without mentioning names that begged for some basic e-tiquette.  I fail to see how this is insensitive.  Clearly, on a multi-page thread with others asking for the same thing, you can understand his wanting just the token gratitude that is expected of any citizen?  If you treat the PM system as a "chat box" then sure, I get it.  But these aren't two word back-and-forths, they resemble an in-forum email, which would seem to me would require a please and thank you at least once in a multi-message conversation.

 

That's great that you're helping the underprivileged get an education.  Do they ever thank you for it?  Would you like them to?  (I'd also argue that MH is giving freely of his time while in the end of the day you get paid to teach [though unfortunately teachers salaries do not compensate them like it should.])  Sure, forum members often like to help each other out and learn/teach, but does that preclude them from requiring what have hitherto been seen as basic forms of decency?  (Although maybe the internet has nullified even those in its everything-in-an-instant style?)

 

Very best,

post #72 of 76

I don't know what transpired between the two of you (i.e. I don't see MH's supposedly "rude" response - no don't need to do it here, feel free to report instead if it's worthy of pursuing), but I'm going to have to say that it should be dead obvious that all members here are simply asking for a simple please & thank you of which all 3 words take less than a second to type - but it goes a very long way.

 

P.S. I'm happy to address other points privately with specific individuals. [Edit: seems Radio_head has gone ahead to talk about what I wanted to address in his 3rd paragraph]

post #73 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnakChan View Post
 

I don't know what transpired between the two of you (i.e. I don't see MH's supposedly "rude" response - no don't need to do it here, feel free to report instead if it's worthy of pursuing), but I'm going to have to say that it should be dead obvious that all members here are simply asking for a simple please & thank you of which all 3 words take less than a second to type - but it goes a very long way.

 

P.S. I'm happy to address other points privately with specific individuals. [Edit: seems Radio_head has gone ahead to talk about what I wanted to address in his 3rd paragraph]

Basically TimSchirmer's first PM to me is here and my "rude response" was simply a link to this thread with no other words on my part. Go figure, it's kinda the topic of this thread.

 

Totally agreed with your's and Radio_head's points as well. :smile: 


Edited by MacedonianHero - 7/3/14 at 3:58pm
post #74 of 76

I'm not saying I'm perfect. I should have said please and thank you too.

 

I wasn't trying to be rude or demanding at all. Yes, I'm insenstive sometimes, but it's not because of bad energy, I'm just genuinely oblivious. I'm also a very sarcastic guy. At the Farmer's market yesterday, this old guy like flipped out after I bought some apples from the cashier. He was apparently waiting in line (a line of one person apparently) and I was totally oblivious because he didn't say anything until after the purchase. I was like "sorry dude, here's an apple" which pissed him off even more. I can't win! 

 

Anyways, I have nothing against you MacedonianHero (sorry I don't know your real name). Let's just put this bad energy behind us and move forward!

post #75 of 76
Quote:
Originally Posted by TimSchirmer View Post
 

I'm not saying I'm perfect. I should have said please and thank you too.

 

I wasn't trying to be rude or demanding at all. Yes, I'm insenstive sometimes, but it's not because of bad energy, I'm just genuinely oblivious. I'm also a very sarcastic guy. At the Farmer's market yesterday, this old guy like flipped out after I bought some apples from the cashier. He was apparently waiting in line (a line of one person apparently) and I was totally oblivious because he didn't say anything until after the purchase. I was like "sorry dude, here's an apple" which pissed him off even more. I can't win! 

 

Anyways, I have nothing against you MacedonianHero (sorry I don't know your real name). Let's just put this bad energy behind us and move forward!

:beerchug:  BTW, my name's Peter.

 

Cheers!

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