Rant warning: A Lesson In Manners, or "How NOT to get someone to give you advice" - Page 2

It's simply a matter of manners. Respect and understanding is a two way street.

 

Overall, the Head-Fi community tone indicates that a certain maturity is expected, and maturity is independent of age, which is why I try not to adhere to the whole "young people have no manners" ideology as there are considerate people of all ages, just like there are rude people regardless of age.

I think at times it may also be exacerbated by language barriers. Head-fi is quite a diverse, global community. It's not too difficult to use "please" regardless, and it's by no means an excuse as I've talked with plenty of very polite individuals who don't speak English very well, however sometimes with a difference in language the intended tone doesn't come across.

Wow, that's incredibly sad. I think many kids these days simply don't realise how important it is to be grateful for what they have and how lucky they are to have so much conveniently accessible at their fingertips.

 

If it is any help, all new members receive a welcome PM now with a bunch of information to make it easier for them to find their way around, but, alas, it wont help people who are too lazy to make an effort (even to read the PM or links) and just want someone to give them simple answers. 

It's the "Generation of Entitlement" at their finest.  And it's not just on the internet, it's everywhere.

 

Blame the parents!  

 

All the complaining our grandparents did about us makes sense now that we're older...

Really sucks to see people abuse such a nice resource and community. I really wish people who have questions would actually check the forums first to see if the answers are already posted somewhere. I just recently joined but i have been able to answer almost any question i have just by looking around. There is a plethora of knowledge on this forums and it should be enough answer any question or at least learn the in's and out's so that you can make logical deductions. I haven't asked for any help yet, but i would hope that if were to ask Rob for some help i would word it so that he feels i have done a good amount of research into the theory and terminology. That way I wont make the mistake of asking the wrong question.

Skylab, you are a great asset to Head-Fi. You offer great insights, have a real breadth of expertise, and write very clearly. It is a shame people act entitled to free advice from you.

I have noticed over the years here that the quality of discourse in public threads has gone downhill in two ways. First, some members are simply rude almost by default. Second, much of Head-Fi's public forums are unusable because threads get derailed by the equivalent of spam. People ask directly for advice through PMs because reading threads is like reading a phone book. Obscure amps garner threads with 75 pages of entries. Meanwhile, the Woo thread is now over 1000 pages long. For all practical purposes, useless unless one is unemployed or a chronic insomniac. This shunts rude folks away from public forums, who instead go directly to good sources like yourself via PMs.

Comes popularity comes great responsibility. We cant always be like this. How many times do you think the "new people are ruinining it" comment has bren made? Many times. With popularity one should rmbrace and attempt change. They came here for a reason. Now lets rectify it.

I'm on a phone

Bingo! I've had 2 such PMs from two separate members in the past few days alone.  I try to usually respond to help other members of our community out, but simply demanding information without basic etiquette, I rigorously delete. Not sure if its the "younger folk" with a built in sense of entitlement, but there are some parents out there who have really let their kids down if this is their attitude to asking total strangers for help. I know I'd be very disappointed in my kids if they behaved the same way. 

Rob,
You could kindly reply to them by telling them to kindly stick it where the sun don't shine.

Chances are they are young kids that have been raised by TV and the Internet, and are likely the kind of people to use their cell phones at a family dinner.

Now tell me about your experience with the new amp by XYZ, or else!!

(P.S. hope all is well.)

I've seen this type of behavior a few times from members looking for info/advice as well so I can only imagine what it would be like for some of the more popular members. I've even had this type of behavior when selling items, on a couple of occasions I've actually refused to sell an item to someone being rude like that.

 

I know on occasion I've asked for input from other members on a potential purchase, hopefully I've always come across as appreciative.

 

I miss the old days when HF had a real small community feel where almost all the members knew each other and talking via PM about gear and such was more commonplace. I approach PM conversations with other members with much more trepidation now.

Edited by elnero - 9/26/12 at 6:52am

Seller: Selling an TI 83 PLUS Calculator (On Craigslist) for $25 (very near me)

 

Me: Is the calculator still available? (posting was a week old and who knows)

 

Seller: "what do you think" 

 

---

Needless to say, I wasn't going to save $20 and even hold a conversation or touch his calculator.

 

One I had recently on another forum, I responded to a WTB ad that was posted a couple of days previously. I stated I had the item he was looking to buy, gave him some info in regards to age and condition and asked what he was thinking in terms of price. Buyer took his WTB ad down and never bothered to respond to me. Would it really have taken that much time to respond with a "Thanks for your reply but I've already found one"?

 

^ I would ask the seller in this way:   If it is still available, I will pick it up in person with cash. When and where can I meet with you?

That way you sound more sincere to start with. Concise and productive communications save time and make it easy for both parties.

 

As an example, after reading a well-described for sale thread from an established Headfi member, I often start with "I will take it. Please let me know your paypal".

Alternatively, I may say "I am highly interested. Please help me to confirm the following items: ......."

 

People on Craigslist are rarely serious though; some may tell you to meet at XYZ and never shows up. A forum in your university or eBay may be a better place.