CdC, I won't pretend to know the feeling of getting a diagnosis like that, but I sincerely believe that I know you can make it work to your benefit. Stay strong!
Something different coming out from my today.
I thought of something on how I like my everyday life (while I took my shower): I like when I have a structured routine built around a schedule from a higher administration power, e.g. schedule of classes, etc. I like it when I can expect this and that to happen at such and such time, so that I can work around them with what I really wanted to do, such as rest, read novels, listen to music, etc.
But after finding myself with this new freedom (SO FREE), I am bored stiff. If before I can always manage to squeeze time for leisure; and, let’s be honest, it usually results in procrastination of more important stuff; now, I just don’t have the drive to do anything. It’s so weird, I think. This also happened back when I just finished my school years 6 years ago (that long already?).
No solution came to mind.
Today is groceries shopping day (more like I-have-to-go-out-today-to-not-starve day). 808 PV in pocket, with the appropriate app to play my FLAC files, my FXT90 in my ears, hit play and out I go. As I was crossing a main road and about to turn towards the bus stop, I remembered a recent xkcd comic that is rather sobering in this current busy lifestyle most adopted: http://xkcd.com/1227/
The one thing that popped up at that moment is, and I paraphrase: long walks are often neglected. With that quip in mind, I turned the opposite direction from the bus stop, and decided to walk to the supermarket. It’s not that far away actually; at the pace that I took, which is a leisurely pace relatively to what I usually am on; just mere 15 minutes. And what relaxing and blissful 15 minutes that is. Just walking, listening to more of my Japanese songs, only on random and no specific album, to the supermarket. And such a bonus too that today is a sunny yet windy day to go for a walk.
Sure, 15 minutes might not seem like such a long walk after all; and honestly, I want more directionlessness; but relatively, this is a needed change of pace on my end, I feel.
Maybe I need more of these walks, just to dispel the monotony of sitting at my desk doing **** all, staring at the screen, trawling the internet for another minute of fleeting, forgettable stimulation. Even if I put on some music, my mind would be in such a meh state that I usually won’t register what I am listening to and whoosh it goes in my head like a passing, odourless fart in an empty lecture hall.